My newest stream of consciousness porn....

[redqueen]

No, not really.

That'd be rad, though!

I think I'll try to write some... heh... this oughtta be interesting. :)

[BarenakedLady]

1. Dear Penthouse Forum

I never thought this would happen to me...

:P

[DS1]

3. I was delivering a pizza to a house in one of those swanky areas

It was a lovely pizza, just the right amount of cheese, with my favorite toppings. It was almost enough to make me quit my job right then, and take it home for myself, but discipline prevailed, aided by the hope of a decent tip. This pizza was the round incarnation of God himself, it looked so delicious. The smells coming out of that warming bag tickled my nostrils ever so teasingly.

[redqueen]

4. You suck at stream-of-consciousness writing.

:eyes:

[Phillycat]

9. He doesn't suck that badly.

I am REALLY hungry for pizza now!

[redqueen]

20. Shhhhhhhhhh

treat them mean to keep them keen, you know? ;)

[DS1]

10. I get out my car, and on the way to the door, I see the form of a totally stacked woman

walking across the hard wood floor. It doesn't look like she's wearing much. This pizza is a burning a hole through my heart. This pizza is the Ark, and I fear that if I open the box my face will melt like that Nazi in Raiders of the Lost Ark, just from its awesome collaboration of ham, cheese, and sausage. I cry at the idea of handing it over to this brunette who is now impatiently tapping her high-heeled toe waiting for me to start the transaction. I barely notice that the shoes are the only thing she's wearing. I want to fuck this pizza so bad.

[redqueen]

11. ...

:rofl:

:loveya:

[BarenakedLady]

15. Mmmmm pizza....

:evilgrin:

[Hugin]

17. Something shiny caught my attention...

It was round.

She was round.

They were round.

[LeftyMom]

2. Writing porn is fun.

:D

[redqueen]

5. I've only tried a few times...

hahah... it turns out I'm SO not good at it! :rofl:

[LeftyMom]

6. I'm told I am. It probably helps that i'm a perv.

[redqueen]

7. I'm too pervy.

:cry:

[Dr. Strange]

What does that even mean?

That's like being too intelligent. Or too happy.
Too pervy--it makes NO sense!

[redqueen]

28. Clowns. Priests. Animals.

I should be locked up, really.

[Tyler Durden]

43. Oh. My. God.

This thread is not complete without pictures.

[Phillycat]

8. DAMMIT.

No teasing! :D

[redqueen]

12. You LOVE the teasing!

Don't even try to act like you don't.

[DS1]

13. ham

[Phillycat]

22. Are you teasing me about pizza toppings now?

Oh god, mushrooms...yes! Fuck yes! You like that pepperoni, baby? You want that?

:rofl:

[DS1]

23. is your oven ready for me?

:rofl:

[Phillycat]

My oven is hot! Hot enough to burn!

You want to be in that oven, don't you, baby? You want to be all the way inside...

My employees are looking at me. I just snorted aloud.

[DS1]

30. fuck off, I don't like fire

[Phillycat]

27. dupe.

I got a little overexcited. :D

[redqueen]

24. ...

:rofl:

[Inchworm]

14. I enjoy doing that

Toss a few challenges in there like...

You cannot use the words wet, deep or tongue.

Also it must have a happy ending :evilgrin:

:hi:

[BarenakedLady]

16. Isn't that the point?

:rofl:

[_testify_]

19. .

:spray:

Nicely done.

[Inchworm]

21. It could be hot intense mental foreplay

where the happy ending involves 2 consenting adults and an afghan.

Better more gushing point there I think. :evilgrin:

:loveya:

[redqueen]

26. Do you mean a blanket or a dog?

Just how pervy ARE you, anyway?

[BarenakedLady]

32. Good questions!

:rofl:

[Inchworm]

34. Spelling is optional with hillbilly streams

(sounds like) afgan. A blanket that hangs on the back of the couch and is itchy.

:rofl:

[redqueen]

38. Or it could have been someone from Afghanistan...

I didn't even consider that you meant a person, though... :P

[DS1]

40. That was my thought, and I wondered how the hell anyone could work

the Taliban into porn.

That would be a neat trick

[Inchworm]

44. The way her tongue rolls

When she lets out her Xena Princess Warrior-like yell

is incredible!

:hi:

[redqueen]

18. Now that is just preposterous...

you HAVE to have 'wet' in there!

:bounce:


That sounds like fun, those challenges. I'll try that, thanks! :D

[Tyler Durden]

25. I like "MOIST".

Softer consonants, makes the mouth go "O", begging for that first soft, deep, MOIST.....

[redqueen]

29. Moist is what cake is.

I do not get moist!

[Tyler Durden]

35. You speaking PERSONALLY there?

:spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank:

BAD TYLER! BAD TYLER!

[BarenakedLady]

36. *snort*

:spank: :spank: :spank:

[redqueen]

39. Pie is not moist.

Better?

:7

[Tyler Durden]

42. Not really "wet" either...

More like "gooey." Which CAN have its positive aspects.

[Inchworm]

31. You slipped in a deep

with your soft, moist words.

:D

[Tyler Durden]

33. Tough. I do "deep." Ask my SO.

And BOY would she kick my ass for saying so.

[Parche]

37. I Just Got A Pizza Delivered.......

I dont think that is cheese toppings............:rofl: :rofl: :hi:

[redqueen]

41. ahaahahaahhaha

Oh man... you just reminded me of the SICKEST comic I've ever seen!

:rofl: