Idiots in Dualies, or Why I'll NEVER Again Order From Pizza Hut

[Maddy McCall]

At 5:00 Central Time this evening, I ordered two medium pizzas from the local Pizza Hut. I left at 5:20 to pick them up, got there at 5:30--I was sitting in the drive-thru line for 20 minutes before I finally got up to the window. At 6:00, I was informed that they had not made my pizzas yet, so would I pull over in a parking place and they would bring them out to me as soon as they were ready. I did.



At 6:30 I got out of my car in my houseshoes and shuffled up to the drive-thru window, where another woman--a very gracious woman in a minivan--allowed me to step up to the window and ask where my pizzas were. Much confusion again--they hand the minivan woman her pizzas and she pulls off.

I step back so that no one can pull up to the window until my order is filled. Keep in mind, I have now been in the Pizza Hut parking lot for over an hour. I had been in line before everyone behind me. I had been sitting in a parking space for longer than anyone in the line had been waiting in line. Quite simply, I had HAD IT! and I wasn't moving until my pizzas were in my hand. I had already paid for the pizzas and wasn't going to be brushed off any longer.



Peroxide-blondie woman in the drive-thru line in a dualie rolls down her window and tells me, "Get the hell out of my way, Bitch!" I told her, "I will as soon as my pizzas are ready. I was in line before you. See my car over there? It's been sitting there for an hour waiting on these pizzas."

She says "Get the fuck out of my way!" and then she puts her truck in gear and rolls up so close to me that the headlights are about 6" from my left elbow. I turned to her and said, "So help me god, if you bring that fucking truck one inch closer to me, I will demolish the grill and call the police in for vehicular assault. Wanna try me?"

She shuts up and rolls up the window. She sits there. 10 minutes later, the woman at the window hands me out my pizza. Before I turn to take my first step to walk off, the woman in the dualie pulls up another couple of inches.

She again says "Get the fuck out of my way." The Pizza Hut manager walks out and tells her to park the truck, that they won't service her through the window. HAHA! (The woman who was working the window had seen her threaten me.) Then said manager tells me that he apologizes for the confusion.

I thanked him and turned around to leave. As I was walking off, she was getting out of her truck and still scowling at me, so I flipped her off and said, "Hope your day improves! I'll pray for you. HAHAHAHAHA!" (I live in a fundie town.) So much for that genteel-southern-belle image.

So how did your weekend begin?

[GOPisEvil]

1. Hahahahahaha!!!!

I bet her little brain exploded on your parting shot! :thumbsup:

[Maddy McCall]

2. I have never had an adrenalin rush like I did when I thought she was

going to bump me with that truck.

:mad:

[GOPisEvil]

4. You handled it well.

I'm glad she didn't hit you with the truck. I'd have hated to read about you getting arrested. :-)

[Skittles]

7. I WOULD HAVE PULLED HER OUT THE WINDOW

BY GRABBING THAT PEROXIDED HAIR IF SHE'D TOUCHED ME WITH HER F***ING VEHICLE.

[Maddy McCall]

9. Dammit, Skittles, I wish you would have been there to watch my back!

LOL! :-)

[northofdenali]

12. YEAH!!!!! KICK ASS SKITTLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This time of year, I wear heavy boots - that bitch's truck would have had some definite dents had she even tried this with me - but I am NO genteel southern belle, and I have one hell of a temper AND I HATE DUALLY TRUCKS.

Skittles, let's get this broad's address from jchild................

RUMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! }(

:loveya: jchild - hope the weekend is much better!

[Maddy McCall]

16. Thanks, northofdenali!

Wish I knew her address--I'd probably go put sand in one of the four gas tanks on he duallie. LOL!

[camero]

51. Thumbtacks on the inside wall of the tires

Works much better. Drip Drip Drip. :)

[Maddy McCall]

57. LOL! I'll have to remember that.

;-)

[Skittles]

25. I WOULD HAVE BITCH-SLAPPED HER BACK TO THE PROM

YES INDEED.

[liberalhistorian]

40. Hey Skittles, can I hire

you to be my bodyguard?

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

3. See what happens when you go to Pizza Hut after

posting in GD 04?

[Maddy McCall]

6. LMFAO!

Maybe GD2004 was indeed the source of the pent up rage I was feeling. LOL!

Wonder what her excuse was, though? :shrug:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

11. She was in GD04 too?

[Maddy McCall]

14. I will withhold comment or speculation on what her DU handle might be.

:-)

[GOPisEvil]

15. DuallyDrivingBeeyatch!

I'll speculate for you! :-)

[Maddy McCall]

18. LMFAO!!

[DS1]

33. GrillUpInYoFace'04

[Rabrrrrrr]

36. Dually4Lieberman

[liberalhistorian]

39. LOL!

Especially appropriate because Lieberman hates video game violence and wants to censor many games, but has no problem with REAL violence, like war and little things like that.

How much you wanna bet she had a bumper sticker saying "Bush Said It, I Believe It, Now GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY!

[Rabrrrrrr]

43. Yeah, wouldn't surprise me at all!

Or a sticker that says something like "Jesus is my co-pilot" or whatever idiotic faux-pietistic-Christianic emblem was the item du jour at the Lighthouse Bookstore.

[Maddy McCall]

44. Here're the bumper adornments du jour in my area:

Bumper jewelry: A christian fish eating a darwin fish.

Bumper stickers:

Bush/Cheney '00

Terrorist Hunting License

Barbour for Governor

I Vote Pro-Life!

Abortion is Murder.

If you sin you are going to hell.

My boss is a Jewish carpenter.

Somewhere in Texas, a village is missing its idiot. (Actually, that's mine :-) )

[Rabrrrrrr]

46. At least there's one sensible person in your village!

"Barbour for Governor"

I don't know who the anti-American saddam-loving osama-worshpping liberal troop-hater is who has the "a village is missing its idiot" sticker, but she ought to be hit by dually at a pizza hut or something. :-)


You know, seriously, I - as a lifelong super-identifiably Christian - absolutely cannot understand the hatred for "darwin" of some Christians. i mean, so things evolve? Who cares? That's how it is. Did Darwin ever come out and say "So there, you Christian idiot retard fools, your religion is the shits!!!" No, he didn't. He merely happened to observe and make his claims known to the public that, hey, there's a pretty sufficient body of evidence here to suggest that, over time, organisms tend to change.

ARRRGGHHHHHH! :argh:

[Maddy McCall]

47. I agree with ya--I teach world civilization

and have had conservatives kids (one was the child of a presbyterian minister) come up to me and thank me for finally explaining that that taboo subject was all about. Most people who oppose it can't tell you anything about it.

LOL about that troop-hater getting plowed by the dually. LOL!

[TXlib]

45. BustOnMyGrill

But more likely, it's her FR handle.

[Maddy McCall]

48. Ain't that the troof.

:-)

[TXlib]

52. Are you sure you didn't have a run-in with Ann Coulter?

[Rabrrrrrr]

5. ROTFL!!

Well done - I especially love the "I'll pray for you" coup de grace.

That is a totally intolerable situation - both waiting for the pizzas, and having psycho moran woman almost hitting you with the car.

The Hut better have given you your food for free.

[Maddy McCall]

8. Indeed they did...handed me back my check with the pizzas.

But I would have rather had a $20. meal without the complication than a free meal, near vehicular assault, and me considering perpetuating destruction of private property. LOL! :-)

Thank god I left my son at home to run pick up the pizzas. I would have been ashamed for him to have seen the whole thing. It was ugly.

[ProudGerman]

10. Vehicular courage

Don't you love people who are only brave inside their ridiculously large vehicles?

There's a nice red Dodge duelie out there somewhere with two fist sized dents in its hood because its asshole owner thought he was king of the world because he was behind the wheel of 3 tons of small penis syndrome. He did lurch his truck out at me while I was in a crosswalk. His scowl let me know it was on purpose, so I dished back.

[Maddy McCall]

13. Good for you!

I was so mad I would have dust-rolled her if she would have stepped out of the truck. :nuke:

[Rabrrrrrr]

17. And I'm assuming that "Dualie" is a name of a truck, like "Skylark"

or "Jetta"?

[GOPisEvil]

19. Dualies or Duallys...

A pickup truck with dual rear wheels on each side. So, a truck with 6 wheels. Heavy duty, for hauling in theory.

[Rabrrrrrr]

21. Ah. And I assume they're mostly driven by people who don't actually

need 'em?

So, any truck manufacturer can make a dually, right, since it's a style, like "coupe" or "sedan"?

[GOPisEvil]

24. Correct.

Ford, GM and Dodge all make them.

I have a friend who drives one, but she owns a horse farm and uses hers to haul trailers and feed, etc.

But there are lots of people who drive them because they look cool. :eyes:

Picture didn't work. Poo! :P

[Maddy McCall]

22. This one had eight wheels just in the back. Double rear axles.

Ugly fucking truck, too. All chromed out with every accessory you could buy from Walmart. If it had been in a one-vehicle accident, the wreckage would have looked like a forty-car pileup, there was so much shit on the truck.

[Maddy McCall]

20. No, a dually is a huge truck with double wheels in the back.

Big heavy trucks with double rear axles and four wheels on each axle.

So there are eight wheels on the rear end of the truck.

[Rabrrrrrr]

23. so the peroxided evil clown woman

must have been picking up a good metric fuckload of pizza.

[Maddy McCall]

26. Bwahahahahaha! OMG you made me hurt myself laughing!

She was by herself--maybe she was taking pizza back to the farm hands, I don't know.

[MacCovern]

29. Holy smoke, I knew the "Big New Yorker" was BIG

but I didn't know it was that big of a pizza!

[Maddy McCall]

32. LOL!

[GOPisEvil]

28. So she had a DOUBLE DUALLY?!?!?!

:wtf:

[Maddy McCall]

31. Yes, a big ass double dually--gold truck. Huge grill

KC lights and everything. She could have hauled 3 cords of pulpwood in the thing.

[GOPisEvil]

35. Oh, so this is beyond pickup then.

We're into commercial truck land, huh?

:puke:

[Maddy McCall]

37. No, it had a front like a regular GMC truck except it sat up higher...

the headlights were at my elbow height, and I am 5'10. It was a big truck.

I may be wrong on the axle count. I swore it had double rear axles...may be wrong...I was looking at it through rage. :shrug:

At any rate, it just looked like a very long truck with too many wheels. :-)

[MacCovern]

27. Mississippi - genteel image?

I've never thought of Mississippi as a very genteel place, but
I don't imagine there are many authentic New York pizza places there either.

Good luck with your next "petes-er".

[Maddy McCall]

30. Actually, older generation women here abide by gender prescriptions

So, yes, there are lots of "southern belle" types here.

Hey, I try to be well-mannered--say "sir" and "ma'am" to my elders--treat everyone with respect, because that's just how I was raised.

But I came really close to being a fuckin gladiator tonight. :-)

[Rabrrrrrr]

34. Embrace your inner gladiator!!

Even if you had been in the wrong (and I don't think you were), there is NO* excusing driving one's car into another human being.

(barring certain, um, exceptions)

[Maddy McCall]

38. THANKS EVERYONE for making this whole horrible thing funny

Now I feel like I can let it go and enjoy the rest of my weekend.

You guys are the best! :hug:

[camero]

41. Don't you know?

The use of peroxide leads to brain damage. :)

[JanMichael]

42. Solid sister.

Take no shit now, take none later.

[BiggJawn]

49. And it never occured to you to go inside...

...ask for the manager and say "Your pizza ain't worth waiting a god-dam hour for, gimme back my money.

They DID give you back your money, anyway, didn't they?

Too bad they didn't "service her through the window"...On second thought, why ruin a good appetite? :evilgrin:

[Maddy McCall]

54. No, they told me if I would wait EIGHT MINUTES, my pizza would be right

out, and they would reimburse me. Stupid me, I waited 8 minutes, then 18 minutes, then 38 minutes...then went to the window.

I got the pizza and my money back.

[TXlib]

50. How I would have handled it:

Once she drove the truck to within 6" of me I would have pulled out the cellphone, dialed 911, requested the police please show up to prevent a case of vehicular assault (or at least make an arrest after the fact), and given the make, model, tag number, and physical description of the driver, all loudly enough she could hear me.

Then I would have smiled and said, "While we're waiting for the police to arrive, if you'd care to exit your vehicle, we could discuss your appalling lack of manners..." while simultaneously executing a double knuckle-crack and hands-free neck cracking. While not being overtly threatening, I have noticed in tense moments that the hands-free neck cracking thing seems to intimidate the hell out of people twice my size.

(And if she exited the vehicle, I would have done literally what I'd said I would do, politely discuss her appalling lack of manners. If she'd hit me, I'd have had plenty of witnesses to attest to her guilt in assault and battery.)

[Maddy McCall]

56. I have to admit...I avoid physical confrontation at almost any cost.

I'm not a weenie--if she would have even touched me with the truck or if she would have gotten out of the truck and walked within 12 inches of me, I would have opened up on her. But I don't like interacting with corrupt, southern-boy policemen, which is what we have in our hometown.

[Lostmessage]

53. Did they give you coupons for a free pizza on your next visit?

I would have kicked the beejesus out of the fake blond. You kept your cool allot longer then most of us would had.

[Maddy McCall]

55. I got the pizza for free and my money (check) back.

[lazarus]

58. pathetic

I used to manage for Domino's Pizza.

At one point, I had the second fastest average delivery times in the nation. From the time you hung up your phone: 14 minutes the pizza would at your door. No speeding, no tickets.

The secret? I spent most of my training time on things like ACTUALLY MAKING A GOOD PIZZA QUICKLY. 6 minute cook time. That's all a pizza oven requires. Anything over 6 minutes is prep. I got mad if a pizza order sat for more than 3 minutes without entering my oven. Simply no excuse for 30 and 40 minute cook times.