General Jesus is coming

[BurtWorm]

An actual poem written to the glory of Jesus. :wow:


http://www.godlovesyouforever.org/general_jesus_is_coming.htm


Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! <=====(The sound of celestial machine guns? :wtf: )

My dears! Come let us go to Zion!

Eh! Eh! My dears!

My Church! My dears!

Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh!



Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh!

Hear the sound of music

There is party in the barracks of heaven

General Jesus is pleading,

My dears! My dears!

Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh!



Jesus is asking for the first dance

There is so much wine and food

Orchestra of angels are playing for you

Eh! Eh! My dears!

My Church! My dears!



King David is next in line for a dance

Queen Esther is begging for your hand

“Please, may I dance with you,” they all beg.

Everybody wants a dance with you

Get ready! My dears!

Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh!



Jesus will teach new songs

He will show you new ways of dancing

The barracks is full of partying

My dears! My dears!

Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh!



General Jesus is the host

His angel soldiers are the musicians

Eh! Eh! My dears!

My Church! My dears!

Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh!



Do not fall asleep tonight

The military of heaven is coming

It may be at midnight

Any time now, the General will be here.

Tell your mother to get ready

Tell your father to get ready

Tell your brother, tell your sister

Get ready! Get ready!

General Jesus is coming!

Eh! Eh! My dears!

My Church! My dears!

Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh!

[lildreamer316]

1. I think I lost brain cells reading that.

Ow, my head.
(MY DEARS!!)

Y'know, this could be a new lounge meme...I hate they copied Cal Peggy, though.

[BurtWorm]

2. If anyone tells me religion inspires great art, I'm going to have to show them this poem.

I don't know how they will make this fit into their worldview.

[Bucky]

3. I prefer the high school cheerleader squad approach

"We got Jesus; Yes, we do! We got Jesus... how 'bout YOU?!"

"We got Jesus; Yes, we do! We got Jesus... how 'bout YOU?!"

"We got Jesus; Yes, we do! We got Jesus... how 'bout YOU?!"

"We got Jesus; Yes, we do! We got Jesus... how 'bout YOU?!"

[Deep13]

4. Sing unto the LORD a new song...

...just not THAT song!

[krispos42]

5. Praisin' the Lord and Passin' the Ammunition

Lockin' and Loadin' for Christ! Booyah!!!!


:eyes:

[Whoa_Nelly]

6. Same person must have written this one, too: Drinking Alcohol In Heaven

And I think you are right re: machine gun fre and eh! Eh! Eh! (ad nauseum)

Seems to be some people that are glad of the wars and the dying so they can (selfishly) look to being raptured.

http://www.godlovesyouforever.org/drinking_alcohol_in_heaven.htm

Drinking Alcohol in Heaven

It has been a long dull day!

The marines are away from home

Mothers’ put their hands on their heads and weep, “Oh dear me!”

The boys are not home.



Oh mama! Oh mama!

Oh mama! Oh mama!

The marines are not home yet!

They are fighting Satan.

Mothers weep. Life is lonely.

Oh dear! Oh dear!



But have you heard the voice of General Jesus!

Hear His horn!

Hear! Hear! Hear!

Drink! Drink! Drink you drunkards!

It has all been paid for!

He paid for the party on the cross!

Everybody is drinking heaven’s holy wine!

He is blowing His horn!

You got love! You got love! Love eternal!

My love beats all the loves you have known!

It gives you exuberant life

Come my Baby! Oh-h-h!

Come my Baby! Oh-h-h!



My Bride! My Bride!

Drink heaven’s beer!

It has been paid, paid for by the General.

No more mourning! Your Husband is here!

Angels are blowing the trumpet!

Jesus’ party is ready!

Holy Spirit fire’s is on everyone!



Drink! Drink! Drink the water of life!

Jump into River Jordan!

Drown yourself in heaven’s alcohol!

It is a wild, wild party!

Drink! Drink you wild, wild people!

You damn bad Christians who refused Islam and all other religions.

The bad girls are now good girls!

The bad women are now good women

The bad boys are now good boys

The bad men are now good men!

Sinners are angels of love!

Jesus gives drinks!

They are full of the Holy Spirit!

Drink!



Hear God’s horn!

Come! Come! My Baby! Come! My Baby!

General Jesus is calling!

Hear the drums of heaven!

Law of love rules!

Great party! Jesus’ bride jumps around like a gazelle!

She is completely drunk!



Beat the drums more louder, oh angels!

Drink! Drink! Drink! Great party is in heaven.

Great partying before God the Father!

The Holy Spirit passes cups of fire to His children.

“Drink it hot! I am the Fire of creation!” He tells His children.

Jesus’ the Bridegroom is the Host.

The ticket to the party is faith.

Love is the language.



So take Jesus the Marine as your Son.

The young and the old have a Son!

Hear the Bridegroom’s horn

He is singing!

Run! My baby! Run to me! My Baby!

[BurtWorm]

7. Freud would have a blast with this

Jesus the Bridegroom and the Baby. Not to mention the Marine!

Hoo boy!

[TK421]

8. What the hell is Eh! Eh! Eh? are they reenacting the squeal like a pig

scene from Deliverance? :shrug: