voicemail critique: "i'll get back to you at MY earliest convenience."

[datasuspect]

i don't give two fucks about what's convenient for you sweetheart.

you better damn sure jump right on it and get back to me "AS SOON AS POSSIBLE."

who hires these officious morons?

i ESPECIALLY love the ones when you ask their names and they say "mrs. or mr. so and so."

[redqueen]

1. you're only fooling yourself

hardly anyone gets back to anyone ASAP... unless it's life threatening. most people choose to respond at whatever time suits them best. unless you're their boss. :P

[MrCoffee]

2. don't ever call me. not for any reason.

ugh. i'd just hang up on you anyway.

[datasuspect]

4. fine, i will never dial 1 900 WET STUD ever again!

so there.

[MrCoffee]

5. you leave ohiosmith out of this!

[Kutjara]

3. My favorite ever voicemail message was:

"You know the drill."

Short, sweet, to the point, and with no empty promise to respond. Nice.

[ThomCat]

8. Mine, for years, said "You know what to do."

followed, of course, by the beep. :P

[datasuspect]

9. on my personal voice mail i once did something similar to:

"thank you for calling (my first and last name)

your call is very important to us.

unfortunately a member of our team cannot get to your call. etc. etc."

did it in the electronic prompt voice and everything. i thought it was funny at the time. like in 1997.

[Fran Kubelik]

6. I say: "as soon as I'm able"

Does that pass muster with you?

[datasuspect]

7. yeah, we'll let that slide

but it doesn't really sound go-getterish enough.

but it'll work.

[graywarrior]

10. How about the ones with the "if you're calling about the management position,

it's been filled." Or "You have reached Johnny Asshole. I'm not home leave a message. And hey! if Mary Smith calls, we're all meeting at the Olive Garden at 7:00!" Fuck you and your asshole friends.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

11. Do it at the beep --

If they don't know what to do at the beep, I don't need a message from them anyway.