Everyone in my family acts like they're in the Witness Protection Program

[graywarrior]

Honest to fuck. I just talked to my niece online and she mentions her secretive dad, my brother. I ask how he is and where he is living. Oh, he was living with so and so, but he moved and I don't know where. Jesus H. Christ, the entire family lives on the fringe of eachothers lives.


Grrrrrr.

[Ellen Forradalom]

1. ...Maybe they are?

What, no one ever told you about the family business?

[graywarrior]

2. You mean the biz of getting drunk and puking on someone's carpet?

And then getting pissed at them because they got upset? That business?

[Ellen Forradalom]

9. Yeah, that one.

You wouldn't believe the profit margin in that line.

[InkAddict]

3. LOL - Are we related?

Dad was a "Central Office" lineman for MaBell pre-dating FISA, and never wanted to be on the phone for more than three minutes. Na, na, na boo-boo, I know where the bunkers' phone lines are but I can't tell you - uh, used to be. Hmmmm...

*s hotline to the Big Man Upstairs runs right thru Mom's kitchen...honest. And it's a rotary dial. REPENT WOMEN DRIVERS - YOU MAKE YOUR MEN LOOK WEAK! PRAY SINNERS! Just don't mention your requests in regard to politics or sex.

Bro has never been the same after meeting FBI Agent X behind the MacDonalds. I seem to remember it was something about drilling Russian holes or was it about square pegs...I forget...no phone that I know of - it must be that cells/mobiles are not yet PERFECTED or why pay for redundancy--Can't have two hot lines open at the same time, now can we?

Sis wouldn't visit or call because it might look like a "conflict of interest." Do we have a contract, then we can't communicate? And every time we do, someone gets outsourced...

By comparison, I'm a fully funded covert Black Op in progress as evidenced by The Turkey Protocol. (That's when you offer free food and they'd rather cook their own geese). Must have been the conversations about those forbidden topics or being in the same place at the same time.

[graywarrior]

4. OK, you are definetly insane. . .

and, therefore, could be related to me.

[SPKrazy]

5. Shhhh.....

don't talk about that here....


:hide:

they might be reading it ....


I understand that thinking to a degree.

[graywarrior]

6. "They" can go ef themselves.

Bwahahahahahahahahaha. So can my so called "kin."

[SPKrazy]

7. Bwahahahahahahha!

:rofl:

I agree on my own behalf for my kin

[graywarrior]

8. The really fucked up thing is none of us have recent pictures of our family.

I bet I could pass my bro on the street and probably not recognize him. And of course, no one sends any pics to anyone else, no one calls anyone, no one emails. But then again, the last time we had a reunion (1990?), we couldn't wait to finish eating and get the hell away from one another.

[Skittles]

10. you want I should kick their secretive asses, graywarrior?

THEY CANNOT HIDE FROM SKITTLES

[graywarrior]

12. Believe it or not, they kick their own asses.

In a strange kind of way.

[In_The_Wind]

11. Are they all moving to The Land Of The Lost?

One of my aunts, one of uncles and my mother were like that.

:shrug:

[graywarrior]

13. I suppose it's easier now that we all live in different states/countries

where before we had to hide in plain site of eachother.

[In_The_Wind]

14. LOL

My way of looking at that problem is ... The family you choose is sometimes better than the one you're born with.

I haven't seen any of my aunts, uncles or cousins in over 15 years. :( Sometimes it's better that way. :shrug:

I've become an expert at being invisible in almost any situation when I really want to be left alone.

[graywarrior]

15. That's where you and I developed our amazing survivor skills

When you can stay alive living with psycho's, you can survive anything. Hell, Mr. Gray's family has cousins who died from 1)being murdered, 2)having a head crushed by a car tire, 3)suicide, two of them ended dead after years of complete insanity.

My mother died of cancer, put a curse on my dad just before she died (loooooooooong story) claiming he wouldn't last a year after her, and he died 13 months later. No one came to his funeral because they were freaked out. She was 49, he was 52. I should write a book...oh wait, I am.

[In_The_Wind]

16. ~

I'll look forward to reading your book.
Let me know when it's published.
Until then I'll just read about you on DU.