10 Items Or Less Express Grocery Line

[flvegan]

10. Ten. X.

10 items are fine. 9, 8, 7 are even better. 11? Okay, no biggie. 12? Now you're pushing it.

However, if your cart is full, and you pull into a CLEARLY marked 10 Items Or Less Express Grocery Lane and unload your stuff, you're either:

1. In too big of a hurry to pay attention or are having some sort of emergency;

2. Illiterate. A sad problem for folks in today's world;

3. Unable to count. Should you be handling money then?

4. A fucking ignorant selfish slob, deserving of having a pineapple rammed up your ass;

5. Too fucking stupid to go on living.

I'm picking option 4 for the folks in front of me in line today. I was this close to going Gillooly on 'em.

Also, if you have 5 items, and rather than putting them together on the belt so the next person can get their stuff on deck, instead opting to spread them out all over? I hope you can feel my eyes burning into the back of your neck.

AND STOP PARKING IN THE FUCKING FIRE LANE!!!! Your hazard lights don't mean shit.

Rant over.

[SeattleGirl]

1. Definitely #4.

:grr:

[lost-in-nj]

2. What if I have

13 items

and write a check????

:shrug: :shrug:


lost







:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[SeattleGirl]

5. You'd better not be in front of me when you do that.

:rofl:

[lost-in-nj]

3. I would say #4 and other

I know in my store if its crowded and no one is on the
express line they would tell some one else on line to go there.....
even if your cart was full



I was one of the ones they told to go there...
it was ok until people started lining up in back of me.....

i felt so bad


lost

[LeftyMom]

4. You need to get laid.

:D

[flvegan]

11. Hmm...I WAS invited to a Halloween party tonight...

[RetroLounge]

19. Dude! I think she just gave you permission...

:thumbsup:

RL

[flvegan]

20. I'm getting dressed right now!!

I'm going as a Chippendale. Hope I get some tips. Or something.

[RetroLounge]

21. Don't forget the tear-away Assless Chaps

(yes, I KNOW Assless and Chaps are redundant, but I like saying "Assless.")

:D

[flvegan]

23. Good call. Tearaway thong a little much, you think?

[LeftyMom]

26. You're going to Tiffany's party too?

[flvegan]

27. Only if she's looking for a little snugglin' with yours truly.

[LeftyMom]

28. If last week at the bar was any indication, she's switched teams

:shrug:

[flvegan]

31. I'll bring her ass back around.

[LeftyMom]

32. Great. When do you land?

:bounce:

[flvegan]

33. I just spoke with her.

She's coming here. Multiple times, I hope. :evilgrin:

[LeftyMom]

34. And then you woke up with a kickstand, right dear?

[Roon]

6. One time at the grocery

This woman in front of me had well over the limit of items. The checker chewed her out,but rang up her groceries anyway. It was a "cash only" lane and she paid with a check. The checker chewed her out again. What really got me was the chewing out didn't bother this woman one bit. Some people, I swear.

[SeattleGirl]

7. Apparently, the checker didn't realize she was speaking to the

Queen of the Fucking Universe. :eyes:

[DS1]

8. Ahh yes, the shopping rant

Here's my contribution from 4/05

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=3025439#3031548

[flvegan]

12. Your #6

:thumbsup:

[skygazer]

9. As a grocery checker, I won't ring 'em up

Just on principle. In fact, one day when a nasty piece of work came to my checkstand and began dumping about $400 worth of stuff on the belt of the express checkout, informing me that, "You're going to ring me up whether you like it or not!", I simply replied, "Oh, no I'm not!", shut down my register and took the person behind her to another lane.

My manager loved it. :)

[kath]

46. Good for you!

THree cheers -- hip hip HOORAY! Hip hip HOORAY! Hip hip HOORAY!

:applause:

[tjwmason]

10. Definitely number 4

Plus a trip to Customer Services afterwards to ask that the "10 items or less" sign be changed to "10 items or fewer" (well somebody had to mention it didn't they).

[hedgehog]

13. What are your feelings regarding people who drag an entire

shopping cart over to the self check-out kiosks?

[flvegan]

14. Depends.

Do they have self check-out skills, or are they one of those dumbfucks that although watching clerks do it a brazillion times, they can't figure out how to scan a barcode?

[Orangepeel]

16. hmm. I self check out with a full cart.

My grocery store has an "express" self check out for 10 items or less and then a bunch of unmarked self check out lanes.

It never occured to me it would be a problem for others.

[Book Lover]

49. Why? Is that a problem?

I do this and no one's complained yet.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

15. Ten is too many for an express line

when you're standing behind such a person who interprets ten cans of tuna as being one "item" because they're all the same, and you're standing there with your one carton of milk.

I'd say that there should be an express line for <3 items and another for <6 items.

Everyone else goes to the regular line.

[hisownpetard]

24. People should know that the number of items refers to the number of times

the cashier has to ring in a total. So, 10 cans of tuna fish still requires 10 different 'hits.'
However, a 6-pack of coke only requires one price to be entered.
Amazing that some people can't figure that out, isn't it?

[flvegan]

36. I know what you mean. nt

[Ediacara]

17. If the express is empty, checkers will ocassionally pull people from regular lines

[Kali]

18. At my regular store, (where I spend a shitload of money, btw) they

often tell me to go to the 10 items or less checker even when I'm already in line at a regular cashier. Sorry if you happen to walk up after I get started, you weren't there when they told me to move.

[begin_within]

22. I think they should set the cash registers in those lanes to accept 10 items then stop.

Then the customer can't get mad at the checker, because the checker can't do anything about it. I see this all the time and it pisses me off too. I follow the rules to the letter.

[flvegan]

25. And a boxing glove on a stick explodes out of the ATM swiper

If they complain.

I like it.

[begin_within]

29. Do you feel hesitant to say anything to them?

As if you were to speak up, they might glare at you as if to say, "You don't work here! It's none of your business!"

[flvegan]

30. I don't, no.

One, I don't know what their situation is. Maybe (as noted above) they did get waved over (not the case today, though), or they do have some kind of emergency. I also try not to go out of my way to make someone potentially feel bad. Well, unless they deserve it.

[krispos42]

39. No, no, not the boxing glove

The anti-carjacking robotic crotch-grabbing claw from "The Naked Gun".

[Kutjara]

35. I refuse to obey illiterate signage.

If a sign says "Ten items or fewer," then I'm happy to obey it. The grocery store company has demonstrated respect for the English language, and I will return the favor by demonstrating respect for the company's wishes.

If, however, the company is either too stupid, too careless, or too disrespectful of their customers to write a proper sign, then fuck them, I say. Fuck them. "Ten items or less" is meaningless. Therefore it should not be obeyed.

I was saying this to the man who was punching me repeatedly in the outside my local Vons last night. For some reason, it made him punch me harder. Manners just aren't what they used to be.

[baldguy]

37. Charge an extra 10% for every item over ten.

10 items or less = 100%

11 items = 110%

12 items = 120%

and so on

[krispos42]

38. Ah, karma...

53. Not only do I pay by check, okay

I go through the 10 Items or Less line to do it. I also make sure I have 18 items, but split them into 9 and 9, stating that the second 9 are "for my friend" and then I write 2 checks.

I also wait until my first 9 items are scanned, standing like a dolt, talking to the bagger dude before I even fish my checkbook out.

Then, after everything is scanned, I mention to the clerk that I want a carton of Marlboro's, so she has to run off to the safe to get them.

When she comes back, I say, "no, the Lights" or "100s" or whatever the hell she DIDN'T get.

And I write the check for the first 9 and put my checkbook away and complain about the quality of the plastic bag handles.

Then, after the clerk is done scanning the second 9 items (for my friend) I mention that the friend also wants a carton of Marlboro's.

No, not those, the other ones.

No, the other other ones.

Then out comes the checkbook.

ID? Again? Wait let me look for it.

Before I finish I tell the clerk I also want a book of stamps, a bag of ice and a refill on my propane tank that's in my trunk but I need help getting it out and filling it up. Oh, and I have a coupon for something in the first 9 items that I didn't pull out before so can we redo the entire first thing and what do you mean "price check" on my Tide detergent that I forgot in the underneath rack of the cart.

20 minutes well spent.

Now, could someone give me a push? The battery in my uber ride-around grocery cart is dead.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=7072325

*cough* *cough*

:rofl:

[flvegan]

41. Okay, that was pretty hilarious of you.

[BarenakedLady]

40. Sorry

I was just trying to get your attention.

[flvegan]

42. I'm just glad you didn't notice when I grabbed your ass.

[BarenakedLady]

43. That wasn't my ass.

[flvegan]

44. I have bad aim.

:evilgrin:

[BarenakedLady]

45. That's what I heard

:hide:

[cemaphonic]

47. 6. Cigarettes count as 5 items.

Always irritates me when the clerk has to visit the cig cage when I'm next in line.

[crim son]

48. Oh dear.

You clearly have not reached the I don't give a fuck stage. It's coming, don't worry. We don't deserve the anal pineapple but rather, a standing ovation, IMHO.

[Zookeeper]

50. I have the opposite problem....

I usually have a cart full of food and am in a non-express line, when someone with one item gets behind me instead of going to the 10 items or less line, and then breathes down my neck like I'm a jerk for holding him up. :grrr:

[Generator]

51. Rigid are we?

Man,you remind me of my husband. Who made a big freaking do about changing the monopoly rules, then me and the kids agreed in unison to change them back to the regular-big tiff ensues. Oh vey.

Funny though-because my local Kroger Krap Market aka Freddy's now has two or three aisles that say ABOUT 12 ITEMS. I kid you not. They changed it from 12 or less-just for free wheeling hippy dippy types like moi.

Man you would not be happy would you? LOL!