I get so mad I could hold a grudge forever...

[rbnyc]

...and not always about the most important things.

Last night my husband and I ordered a steak sandwich and a penne al vodka to split. My husband paid for it, and wondered why it was so expensive, but didn't check the order. The delivery guy left. They'd given us 3 steak sandwiches. I called the place and asked them to send the delivery guy back to pick up 2 of the sandwiches and bring us 10 dollars back. The manager said no. He said that he'd taken my order, I said I wanted 3, he asked my to confirm that it was 3 and I said yes, 3. This is total BS. I said I never said or heard the word 3, that he'd made a mistake, and we didn't want to pay for what we didn't order. He said he would not send the delivery person back. I said, then my husband is going to drive to your store with the 2 sandwiches and get our money back for them. He said he wouldn't return the money for the 2 sandwiches and again told me that it was my fault. I told him that in that case my husband would bring our entire order back, get all of our money back and we would never order from them again. He said fine.

I think this is very bad business. First of all, in over 10 years working in bars and restaurants, I've never told a customer that something was his or her fault, even if it clearly was. Also, how do they expect us to want to order in the future if we know that if they make a mistake, they will blame us and refuse to return our money?

The manager was a complete ass on the phone. I'm still pissed. I seriously want an apology, and some incentive to continue to do business with them. I swear, if I do not hear the manager say that he was wrong and that I am right it will never ever be able to let it go.

What should I do?

EDIT: I'm going to work now. I'll be back to read all the flaming I'm pretty sure I'll get in about 8 hours.

[GOPisEvil]

1. If it were me, I'd rant to my friends and never order from there again.

But this is you, so I think you should go talk to the owner. If you get blown off there, THEN I'd go for the other options you have listed.

[rbnyc]

2. Well, this is the rant to my friends part.

I hope by the time I'm done with work today that I'll be over it. I have a serious grudge problem.

:hi:

[GOPisEvil]

6. I am almost the opposite.

Once my ranting is over, I'm pretty much done with the anger. I don't stay mad about things for long. :-)

[TXlib]

15. That's me, too

The storm comes on strong, but then the sun somes out, and there's no trace of the storm left.

I'd piss and moan, and perhaps talk face-to-face with the owner, but then I'd get over it. If I really liked the food there, I'd continue eating there; I'd just be very careful on the phone in the future.

[TXlib]

17. Buddhist view on anger:

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."
-- Siddhartha Buddha

[Az]

3. Where was the entry for

Drop them and never order from them again and let the anger go.

You do not need to carry that stuff around. Its gonna kill ya. Decide on the solution you want and act on it. And then do something fun for yourself.

[mac56]

4. Did your husband return the order and get your money back?

Tell all your friends, and never do business there again. It's their loss.

[soleft]

5. you'd actually be doing the owner a favor by letting know what an ahole

he has running his business!

[reprehensor]

7. Time for some...

Manager slappin'. At least let the owner know what's going on. Maybe the 'manager' was having a bad day, that's not your fault. He probably mixed up your order with someone else's.

[ScreamingMeemie]

8. Talk to the owner. That guy was a jerk. "The customer is always

right" seems to have fallen by the wayside these days. I know some customers can be over the line, but you called with an honest mistake they made and they got creepy over it. You are in the right. For good measure, I'd also call your local "Hall of Shame" news station if you have one and recommend that they do a clip on this idiot. Man I'm steamed for you.

Laura

[YellowRubberDuckie]

14. The customer is NOT always right...

I've worked in restaurants as a server and hostess, and I think this whole the customer is always right business is seriously overstated. I refuse to be abused for something that wasn't my fault. I didn't get paid enough. I've actually stopped people from yelling at me for not seating them when they thought they should be seated with a "I'm sorry, it's not my fault, but let me get a manager for you. He gets paid to deal with abuse." And walked away to find my manager. After I got three people doing this, I went to working lunches. It was more fun, I got to work the door alone, and people aren't as bitchy when they come in for lunch as they are after a 25 minute wait for dinner.

I would seriously go talk to the owner/ general manager after the way that nutball treated you. I've caught managers doing this, and after the manager hung up, or finished talking to the person, I went to them and was like, "Do you realize what you just said to that person? You were rude, and you owe them an apology, or we're going to lose business. I don't think Don (our general manager at the time) would appreciate that rudeness." And he'd realize he was rude sometimes and go take care of it. Sometimes he would just tell me to mind my business, and in which case, I'd go tell Don that his assistant manager was just a rude ass who liked the power. The guy didn't last long let me tell you.
Sorry for the long rant...
Duckie

[ScreamingMeemie]

22. This is a guideline I always used and as stated in my post some

customers go over the line but rbnyc did not. There are special cases everywhere but I still stand by "the customer is always right" It's good business unless they are obviously disruptive...which then would go without saying. :hi:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

33. Ok...I was just making sure...

I really wasn't getting hostile, I swear, MrsGrumpy.
Duckie

[Az]

9. Here is what I have learned

Kindness is the best weapon. When someone screws up their initial reaction is remorse. They wish to make amends. If however the victim comes in angry their defenses go up and all sympathy is lost. Once they are under assault they reverse their feelings and become hostile themself as a defense.

Anger does far more damage than it may solve. It clouds your own judgement. It can ruin your day. It can kill you over time. All in all blowing your top is just a bad idea. You usually wind up doing more damage to yourself in the end.

In practice I have found that if you approach these mishaps with understanding and kindness you get free stuff. Not all the time. But more than enough to compensate for the times you don't. Kindness so suprises people that they are sometimes taken aback by it. We have become a society who's first response is vengence. And this is making our society ill.

How you behave to other people teaches them how to behave towards you. Socrates when being tried for teaching evil replied that it was ridiculous to teach others to be evil, for they would only take these lessons and use them on the teacher. Teach others how to behave through example. This is how our species learns. Most religions and philosophies have learned this little rule. Treat others as you would have them treat you. It works.

[Rainbowreflect]

10. I know how you feel. I had a run in with a company yesterday.

Here's my rant.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=712985&mesg_id=712985
I am still waiting for a reply to my 2nd email canceling my order.
I say tell the owner what happened, you will be doing them a favor because it the manager treated you like that, you know he's treating others poorly as well.

[Bertha Venation]

11. Forget the manager. Go to the owner.

If it's a national chain, go to their web site, and find out how to contact their customer service department. Then scream bloody murder.

If it's a stand-alone, write a letter to their owner.

Either way, tell whomever you contact exactly what transpired, the conversation(s) as best you can remember, and that as a result you will never visit or order from their restaurant again.

Then report it to the BBB -- especially if it's a chain.

(I SOOO understand how you feel abou this. Every time something like this happens, I am reminded of Joe Pesci in "Lethal Weapon 2" -- y'all know the dialog I mean?

"Never order from the drive thru, y'know why? I'll tell ya why. Because they F**K you at the drive thru! They F**K you at the drive thru! They know you're gonna be MILES AWAY before you realize that you were F**KED!" A great moment in a mediocre film.)

[3rdParty]

12. How about we learn how to add numbers and check our bill?

Stop blaming others for your own mistakes!!!

[Rainbowreflect]

13. How supportive.

They add the numbers and tried to get the mistake fixed.
Just because they didn't do it until after the delivery person left does not make it their mistake.

[3rdParty]

18. Oh, I get it - pay now, ask questions later.

Maybe we all learned a lesion from your experience. We should all check our bills before throwing money around like its water.

Whats the big deal? Throw it in the fridge and have it tomorrow. Take a chill pill and get some perspective - its not like you got laid off or are stuck in the hospital.

[WillParkinson]

19. Learned a lesion?

Ah, I get it. Lesion. From a cutting remark.

First off, the error was not theirs.

Secondly, the manager was rude. In service that is uncalled for no matter the circumstance.

Third, when food is delivered it's very difficult to tell a person to wait while you check the bill.

Yes, perhaps they could have caught the error when the food was delivered but the manager should have been willing to work with them.

[Bertha Venation]

20. I hope you don't work in customer service.

You don't get it.

[Bertha Venation]

16. How about we read the entire post before

offering the judgement only an asshole could offer? :eyes:

[rbnyc]

24. It's true...

...my husband should have checked the order, however, it's not unreasonable to expect them to send the order correctly, nor is it unreasonable to expect them to correct THEIR mistake, even tho we should have caught it earlier. NOR is it unreasonable to expect a manager not to be rude and infer you are a liar over the phone.

BTW, welcome to DU.

[Pithlet]

34. I agree.

I would have been pretty angry, too. It was their mistake. It isn't up to the customer to fix or correct it. That is their job. And there was no reason for them to be rude about it.

[Beaker]

21. when I order food for delivery, I ask "how much" over the phone-

if it were $10.00 too much, I think that I'd notice, before giving the delivery person any money.

but that's just me, I try to rely on common sense.

[rbnyc]

26. That's a good idea.

But he hung right up after taking the order, and it was such a simple order I really didn't anticipate any trouble.

[Beaker]

32. still...it sounds like you've maybe made the order before-

or at least something similar...when the delivery guy says $19.87 instead of $8.63...things that make you go "huh?"

[Beaker]

23. It sounds like you've caused yourself more than $10 worth of frustration-

Let's see...
you ordered out because you didn't want to go out or cook, appparently-
when you paid for and recieved more food than you ordered without checking the order first, you should have chalked it up to experience, and saved the extra food for tomorrow's lunch.
Instead, you opened up a trunkful of them negative waves, moriarty...

now you have to go out(which you didn't want to do) return the food, and now you have your money, but no dinner, you've gone out, and you've wasted a lot of time(I won't even mention the cost of the gas to drive the food back), and gotten your emotional state tied up in knots...

I hope it was worth the ten bucks to be so inattentive in the first place..

[mac56]

25. How supportive (part 2)

How's the view from that high horse?

[Beaker]

31. just fine...

but my noble steed does not appreciate your impudent attempt to imitate it's hindquarters...

(edited to add some nobility)

[rbnyc]

27. You're right.

But at the same time, the restaurant was wrong and acted wrongly.

[Beaker]

30. but at the same time-

restaurants are owned/operated by human-beings, not infallible Food-Gods from above.
They should have fessed up, but they didn't, so let it go, and throw their take-out menu in the trash. If your neighborhood is anything like ours, there are plenty of other places shoving them under your door. maybe it's time to broaden the palate and try new things for a while.

or you could go the negative-wave route-- whatever works for you and your karma.

[rbnyc]

28. Thanks everyone.

Lots of good stuff here. For those of you who think that I'm a careless petty idiot, I fully recognize that my husband should have checked the order at the door, and that I have a tendency to hold grudges over very small things. I recognize that as a problem. I thought I was pretty clear about that.

At the same time, the manager was wrong, acted wrongly, and we did have the right to expect them to correct their mistake, and these kinds of things are annoying.

Thanks for all the great feedback everyone.

:)

[Hong Kong Cavalier]

29. Remind the manager, and the owner, of the 1-10 rule in restaurants.

Every one dissatisfied customer will tell ten people.
Make sure you know who the manager was, and explain it it detail. If that doesn't work, then write the Better Business Bureau, your local Chamber of Commerce, and perhaps the local paper.

This is really bad business.

[geniph]

35. I am not a holder of grudges

(then again, I wouldn't order from them again, either). But I do think you'd be doing the owner a large favor to calmly tell him/her the whole story. A manager like that, who is that abrasive with a customer who's honestly trying to correct a mistake, will cost them business. In a service industry like restaurants, service is EVERYTHING. I'll eat at a restaurant with average food and superb service before I'll eat at one with superb food and horrible service.

[buddhamama]

36. i'm not one to hold grudges

but here's what i'd do, rbnyc. stew in it a while, write the letter if you want and i betcha by the time the day is done, it'll be out of your system.