Caught a shoplifter tonight! Ask me anything...

[RetroLounge]

:hi:

RL

[mainegreen]

1. Are you keeping him in the basement now?

[RetroLounge]

3. Nope.

Tossed him to the curb, banned him for life...

RL

[bicentennial_baby]

2. Will you tell us the story?

:D

[RetroLounge]

4. Yes...

if you ask the correct questions...

:D

RL

[bicentennial_baby]

5. How did you catch him?

:D

[RetroLounge]

7. Knew he took the books last week

3 very obscure French texts, by George Bataille.

He came in tonight and I confronted him, and he admitted it, paid me the money, then I banned him.

RL

[bicentennial_baby]

9. Wow, you're smooth....

But, c'mon, at least he was cultured!! :rofl:

[RetroLounge]

11. He lied first, and left...

Then came back. Said he wanted to buy a whole bunch of books to make up for it.

I told him to shop online, it would be safer for him.

:hi:

RL

[cuke]

23. Wow, you really know your books

and I do mean *your* books

[RetroLounge]

25. I saw him last week in front of the shelf

and I knew he had asked about Bataille earlier.

plus his down vest was unzipped when he came in, and zipped when he left.

and his cousin had been in and warned me about him. Weird, I know. But true.

RL

[Rabrrrrrr]

83. He stole Bataille? Hmpf. Probably thinks Placide Cappeau de Roquemaure was an atheist, too.

:eyes:

[redqueen]

87. What's wrong with Bataille? Hm?

I've been wanting to read My Mother for ages...

[mainegreen]

6. What was the title of the book he tried to steal?

[RetroLounge]

8. 3 books by George Bataille

translatred from the French. Very obscure...

RL

[jonnyblitz]

58. I have a Georges Bataille book titled " L'ABBE C"

I bought it at a used book store for $3.95 :hi:

carry on. :D

[RetroLounge]

60. You sir, have good taste...

:hi:

RL

[jonnyblitz]

62. if i lived in Milwaukee I would have been to your store already

about 100 times. seriously.

[RetroLounge]

63. There's always online

:D

RL

[jonnyblitz]

70. i like browsing in a store though.

you should see the STRAND in NYC! :wow:

[RetroLounge]

71. OMG! I've heard all about it!

Someday I will come there...

:hi:

RL

[begin_within]

10. Was he at least comparison shoplifting?

[RetroLounge]

12. I think he might have been...

:D

RL

[ThomCat]

13. Congratulations. You handled that very well.

:hug:

[RetroLounge]

14. Thank you.

and I did it with restraint, as my kids and a customer were in the store.

I walked at him making him back out of the store, and I closed the door and handled it outside.

:hi:

RL

[cuke]

24. Very smart move

Believe it or not, in this day and age, you have to be careful about how you handle such situations. If you do the wrong thing, you could end up being sued by the shoplifter.

[RetroLounge]

28. I was not worried.

The corporate office stands behind me...

:rofl:

RL

[cuke]

31. Yes, you can always count on the home office to back you up

mgmt is known for their loyalty

[RetroLounge]

35. I have a good boss...

:hi:

RL

[cuke]

36. Glad to hear that

Actually, you're self-employed aren't you? I may be doing that soon.

[RetroLounge]

38. I work elswhere during the day.

Own my bookstore and work nights and weekends.

RL

[stuntcat]

51. yah this is what I was gonna say

You were smoooooth! Good job!

[RetroLounge]

53. Thanks

:hi:

RL

[Deja Q]

15. Did you spank the shoplifter?

:evilgrin:

[RetroLounge]

16. Metaphorically, yes.

:hi:

RL

[CreekDog]

68. what's that line? "A metaphor is like a simile" (nt)

[Perseid]

17. Was it a really heavy shop?

Must have been hard to lift. Kudos

[RetroLounge]

20. ...

:eyes:

:rofl:

RL

[Connonym]

67. that was my original thought

gmta and all that. Maybe he should weigh it down with some sandbags or something? :shrug:

[DS1]

18. he must be really strong to lift a book store

ba dum tiss

[RetroLounge]

21. Ha!

Someone beat you to it...

:D

RL

[DS1]

34. bah same minute

goddamn need for validation

[RetroLounge]

42. Bunch of wannabes

:D

RL

[Perseid]

48. from your mouth to your ear?

:D

[Fire Walk With Me]

19. Very smoothly handled, Retro!

:thumbsup:

[RetroLounge]

22. Thanks

:hi:

RL

[CreekDog]

69. oh, so it's okay for HIM to do it

:freak:

[Hotler]

26. Not having read yet, I hope what ever

they took they put it down their pants. Did they, huh, huh, god I hope so. Anything down anyones pants drive me nuts.

[RetroLounge]

30. LOL

Well, the books were translated from the French.

and you know how those French can be...

:D

RL

[SPKrazy]

27. Good for you

hope he gets his ass prosecuted

:hi:

[RetroLounge]

32. Only if he comes back...

Oh, I thought you said Persecuted...

:hi:

RL

[flvegan]

29. Did you call the cops and then shoot him/her while on the phone with them?

[RetroLounge]

33. Not this time...

Last time the paperwork was overwhelming and the lawyers expensive! Plus those hollow points are not cheap...

This time I put him in the dumpster and set him on fire surrounded by burning Harlequin Romance Novels...

:hi:

RL

[flvegan]

37. Dude...shotgun? Hello?

Cheap AND you can't trace 'em.

Sorry someone's stealing/trying to steal from you.

[RetroLounge]

39. I know, I reached for the 12 guage sawed off

But it was gone.

Turned out the kids were out back taking pot shots at the drunks coming out of the bar next door.

i love my kids...

RL

[flvegan]

45. You owe me a keyboard.

Mine is now soaked in Corona. Bastid.

[RetroLounge]

46. Ever see a 9 year old handle a 12 guage recoil?

Me neither! It made him fly. Backwards.

:D

RL

[femmocrat]

40. Good work, RL!

However... isn't it strange that he offered to buy a lot of books for repentance? He obviously could have afforded the three books he stole... (shaking head)

[RetroLounge]

41. Well, as it turns out...

I bought a rather large lot of books from someone a few months ago, and they were once his (years ago), and he wants to buy some of them back now.

He thought he could steal them 3 at a time I guess.

All he had to do was be honest and ask, and I would have cut him a good deal. I'm very easy that way...

:hi:

RL

[femmocrat]

47. Ah.... there is always more to the story....

Thanks for the explanation! It is kind of sad when you think about it.... Too bad he had to be so dishonest about it.

[Audio_Al]

76. So, this was a little bit like the O.J. Simpson memorabilia heist???

[DarkTirade]

43. Ever been to this site...

http://www.actsofgord.com/

[RetroLounge]

44. Cool!

Thanks!

RL

[DarkTirade]

49. I thought as an independant store owner you might find it amusing. :)

[ThomCat]

54. That site is hillarious!

:rofl:

[DarkTirade]

90. Every now and then I'll go back and reread it just for entertainment value

even though I only worked retail for two months seven years ago, it's still entertaining as hell. :)

[quip]

50. This thread is useless without a waterboard....

sharpened. :evilgrin:

All seriousness aside, I applaud your aplomb handling of the situation, RL! :hi:

[RetroLounge]

52. Thank you...

The problem with waterboarding in Milwaukee in the winter is that the water freezes and it becomes ice boarding, just another winter sport...

:hi:

RL

[quip]

55. I know what you mean! Same here in Minneapolis

And at that point, you are providing FREE entertainment! (no beer, though...)

:hi: :brrr:

[Pierre.Suave]

85. Hey now...

How are you doing in this cold and wintery weather?

[hisownpetard]

92. Well, you can always duck into a Men's Rm to warm up.

[mzteris]

56. ummmm - if you thought

*I* was shoplifting . . .

would you search me??

:evilgrin:

[RetroLounge]

57. Thoroughly.

more than once.

RL

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

59. Did you yell, "Swarm! Swarm!" in true Jerry Seinfeld fashion?

[RetroLounge]

61. of course...

:hi:

RL

[rug]

64. You should have cut his head off.

[RetroLounge]

65. Too much work...

:hi:

RL

[CreekDog]

66. Is it really shoplifting if you take a book by a French Philosopher?

The only thing cheaper is the audio version on 8-track spoken by Yoko Ono.

[RetroLounge]

72. Yes.

eom

RL

[CreekDog]

74. Correct answer.

just checking.

[Writer]

73. Sorry about that, Retro...

but I'm so glad you caught me, tied me up, and will begin your torture and inquisition process later tonight. I'm also glad you permitted me to type out this post with my nose.

Damn it, I really REALLY wanted that copy of "The Babysitters Club: Volume 6". I've been naughty, haven't I?

~Writer~

[RetroLounge]

78. naughty girls need punishment

:spank:

RL

[JVS]

75. No tazing? I'm disappointed in you

[RetroLounge]

79. Left my Taser at Olive Garden

:shrug:

RL

[NewJeffCT]

82. I'm surprised the thread got this far without asking about tasers

unless I missed something above...

[xchrom]

77. ok -- i've just swooned from the heroics -- and i'm gonna need reviving.

do you think you could be here by 4?

[RetroLounge]

80. I'll catch a flight...

:hug:

RL

[xchrom]

81. k -- that'll give me time to go to the gym, dust and run the vac --

then faint -- do what you must to bring me round.

thank you in advance -- :smoke: :hug: :smoke:

[Bossy Monkey]

84. THIS is why you always ask, "May I help you sir or are you just here to shoplift?"

:P

[RetroLounge]

97. Good point!

:D

RL

[AngryAmish]

86. Should I get the gimp?

[RetroLounge]

96. Definitely!

:D

RL

[MilesColtrane]

88. Guess you could definitely say that he was...

[RetroLounge]

94. Actually, that was one of the books!

:rofl:

irony lives!

RL

[tigereye]

89. the idea of stealing books when you have the cash is so uncool

well, the idea of stealing books period is very uncool as well.

I guess that kind of stuff is just the cost of doing business for yourself or with the public. Sounds like you handled it well!

Just be safe.

[RetroLounge]

95. Totally uncool...

:hi:

RL

[TommyO]

91. Did you, um, throw the book at him or her?

edited to add the possibility of a female shoplifter.

[RetroLounge]

93. It was a he...

and yes, I tossed the book at his head...

RL

[BarenakedLady]

98. What were you wearing at the time of the incident?

and do you have any pictures?

:evilgrin:

[RetroLounge]

99. My cowboy Jammies...

of course...

RL

[SPKrazy]

100. that is scary

:scared:

:rofl: