George W. Bush - Top ten excuses for going AWOL

[Lefty48197]

I posted this in response to another post a couple of minutes ago, but since that time I have received thousands and thousands of requests to give this it's own post, so here goes: (apologies to David Letterman)

Number 10: In the national guard, they make you get up really really early in the morning.
Number 9: I realized the bars had happy hour EVERY SINGLE DAY!
Number 8: I had to take my girlfriend to an emergency doctor's appointment.
Number 7: I had to go take my driving test.
Number 6: All that army green clashes with my smirk.
Number 5: Mamma told me I was a big boy and I could make my own decisions.
Number 4: Dick Cheney didn't have to report for duty!
Number 3: Them guns shoot real bullets.
Number 2: If I can't be the general, then I'm not playing!
Number 1: My country needs me! I MUST STAY HEALTHY!

[Leilani]

1. How about this one?

They wouldn't let me keep my pillow.

You know, of course, Chimpy travels everywhere with his own pillow, even when he was campaigning in 2000. He just can't sleep without it.

[CatWoman]

2. very good, lefty

too funny!!

:D