Best Country song title:

[Mobius]

Best Country song title:

[snippy]

1. You're the Reason Our Kids are so Ugly.

[gonefishing]

2. There they go again those Liberal Elitists.

We all know that everyone south of NJ is a redneck!

Prejudice always hides itself well.

[Mobius]

4. Where did I say anything negative about any group of people?

? You made the assumption.

[gonefishing]

5. The assumption was that all people who like

country music sleep with thier sibling and/or animals.

Maybe I misunderstood your poll.

[Mobius]

6. I think you are taking this poll too seriously.

I was only asking for possible song titles, for humor.

[gonefishing]

8. I admit I was a bit harsh.

I have seen other posts by you and I am sure you were just having fun.

However, I have met many people in business who think that if someone is from the south and/or listens to country music they are less intelligence.

A great Friend of mine once gave terrific advice. "Don't ever tell a joke unless you know your audience"

No harm no foul!

[southerngirlwriter]

24. I run into that prejudice.

I am highly intelligent, and I love country music.

I love it because there are lots of true love songs. Most of the Top 40 and pop/rock stuff is more about lust than love.

Blake Shelton's song "This is Austin....and I Still Love You" (I think that's the title) is beautiful and makes me cry every time I hear it. It's not about sex or lust. About love. I like that.

And as my avatar suggests :evilgrin: I'm hardly a prude. :shrug:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

33. I'm from the south...

And I'm not offended...I KNOW PEOPLE LIKE THAT!!
Duckie

[Praline]

7. one of the last acceptable prejudices

I LOVE Long Black Veil (Johnny Cash's) as sung by Dave Matthews and Emmylou Harris together the best right now.

[Bertha Venation]

11. Welcome to DU

:hi:

[Mobius]

13. This is my sig in another forum:

"How well I have learned that there is no fence to sit on between heaven and hell. There is a deep, wide gulf, a chasm, and in that chasm is no place for any man." --Johnny Cash

Cash is old school, back when country music wasn't infiltrated with the likes of Toby Kieth or Randy Travis, whom I happen to loathe.

[Mobius]

3. Any Toby Kieth fans out there?

Let's go beat up some Dixie Chicks! :eyes:

[southerngirlwriter]

22. Obviously, I can't stand his politics.

But he does have some songs that I like. I won't buy a CD, though. Won't put money in his pocket.

I like "I Wish I Didn't Know Now What I Didn't Know Then" and "American Soldier." The latter is a beautiful song IF you try to block out who's singing it and just enjoy the images. I understand some may find that song offensive, but I like it. Can't help but like it. :shrug:

"Who's Your Daddy" is about the most sexist, chauvinistic, god-awful thing imaginable....but I still turn it up if it comes on the radio in the car.

I guess TK is my (very) guilty pleasure. Radio only, though. No CD's and no concerts. Not giving him money.

[VelmaD]

9. "You broke me heart so I busted your jaw"

Honest to god this is a REAL song title. When we were cleaning out my papaw's truck after he died we found an 8-track tape with that song on it. Honest. *crosses heart*

[ronnykmarshall]

30. 8 tracks!

What a pain those tapes where.

[Bertha Venation]

10. Why Do I Have To Be Married and Why Do You Have To Be Gay?

:loveya:

[geniph]

59. Did you like my lyrics to your song?

:D

[Bertha Venation]

61. Yepper!

I loved them. Everyone was far more creative than I was. :7

[militarymanusaf]

12. It ain't easy bein' easy!

eom

[Laughing Mirror]

14. A Boy Named Sue by Johnny Cash

My name is SUE!!
How do you DO!!

Listen to his live version at St. Quentin prison I think. It's country rap with a moral message.

Very effective.

[Mobius]

16. "now you're gonna die!"

Is the next line, and alot of prisoners cheer. Father issues in the big house???Ya Think?

[Laughing Mirror]

28. what do you mean father issues?

I, a gay man, always heard this song as meaning that being a despised minority can make you strong and tough and ready to kill. But the ultimate strength is to kill your URGE to kill the thing or person that you blame for who you are. Not to act upon it, but to sublimate it, turn it into something else, a work of art, in this case, a song.

Anyway, that's the way I hear this song. I never thought about father issues, or mother issues for that matter. You may be right.

[OneBlueSky]

15. "My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, and I Don't Love Jesus" . . . n/t

.

[mr blur]

17. I'm Basting A Turkey With My Tears

- Lurleen Lumpkin.

Also, "Don't Look Up My Dress Unless You Mean It"

[ronnykmarshall]

31. Ya beat me to it!

I love that episode.

[MrSlayer]

18. Classic stuff.

[NoPasaran]

19. I must be Cleopatra 'Cause I'm the Queen of Denial

[VOX]

20. "Red Necks, White Socks, and Blue Ribbon Beer"

by Johnny Russell (ASCAP)

There's no place that I'd rather be than right here
With my red necks, white socks and blue ribbon beer
The barmaid is mad 'cause some guy made a pass
The juke box is playin' "There Stands the Glass"
And the cigarette smoke kind-a hangs in the air
Rednecks, white socks and blue ribbon beer

A cowboy is cussin' the pinball machine
A drunk at the bar is gettin' noisy and mean
And, some guy on the phone says I'll be home soon dear
Red-necks white socks and blue ribbon beer

CHORUS:
No we don't fit in with that white collar crowd
We're a little too rowdy and a little too loud
There's no place that I'd rather be than right here
With my rednecks white socks and blue ribbon beer

The semis are passing on the high-way outside
The four-thirty crowd is about to arrive
The sun's goin' down and we'll all soon be here
Rednecks, white socks and blue ribbon beer

[Mrs. Venation]

21. I've Got Tears In My Ears From Lying On My Back . . .

In My Bed While Crying Over You

I swear, I did not make this up!

[southerngirlwriter]

23. I voted "other"

This is an actual song, and I heard it once.

"Drop-kick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life."

[opiate69]

25. "I went to bed at 2 with a 10....

and woke up at 10 with a 2"

[BlueJazz]

26. I've always been partial to...

Dun Rudman's "I love you so much I could shit"

It truly stands for what Country Music is all about.

[opiate69]

27. or, Hank Williams III's

"Pop Country Really Sucks"

[ronnykmarshall]

29. From the Simpsons

With Loreen Lumpkin:

"I'm Basting A Turkey With My Tears"

"Don't Look Up My Dress Unless You Mean It"

"I'm Sick Of Your Lying Eyes And False Teeth"

and one I made up:

"When I Told You To Take Out The Trash, I Didn't Mean That Bitch Nextdoor"

[dolo amber]

43. *snort*

Good one, Ronny! :D

I can't seem to find verification on this one, but I believe there was one called:

"I gave her the ring, and she gave me the finger". :D

Check here for a list I found while looking for that one ^^, there are some real winners! ;)

http://www.mj0110199.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/Forum1/j-m/Man%20Alive%20its%20country%20and%20western.html

[ronnykmarshall]

52. Great link Dolo, I like this one:

"Get Your Tongue Out Of My Mouth, Because I'm Kissing You Goodbye."

[Rhiannon12866]

32. I liked this joke. Thanks for reminding me.

An older couple was sitting at the breakfast table. They had been married for 50 years. The husband turned to the wife and said "Helen, we've been married for 50 years. We have seven kids. There is one thing I've always wanted to ask you. How come the youngest one doesn't look anything like the others?" She responded, "he's yours." LOL! Sorry.:D

edited for typo...

[Duckiesplaything]

34. hmmm

Is there such a thing????

[Rhiannon12866]

37. Welcome to DU, Duckiesplaything!!!

It seems that we agree on more than politics! When I had surgery a couple of years ago, they asked me what kind of music I wanted played in the operating room. I thought that was a very thoughtful touch. I said anything would be fine with me, but country. The operating team was very relieved. Guess what they played? I was put under to the song, "Rhiannon," by Stevie Nicks.:-)

[davsand]

35. There's a Waylon Jennings song with an amazing hook line:

The title is "Kissing you Goodbye" but everybody seems to call it "Get your Tongue out of my mouth (I was kissing you goodbye)


Verse 1:

I've learned to turn the other cheek
Is not what love's about
I've turned mine so many times
That i damned near wore 'em out

I've grown used to your abuse
And i thought i'd never quit
But i woke up this morning
Couldn't find my shiv-a-git


Chorus:

You've always liked to play your games

Well i got one for you

Pretend we're playing checkers girl

And it's your time to move

You'll find your suitcase on the porch

And the taxi in the drive

Get your tongue out of my mouth

I'm kissing you goodbye


Verse 2:

I see you've finally made it home
You been out all night
Your artificial hair's a mess
And your clothes don't fit you right

I've given and forgiven
Till there ain't nothing left
But all you gave was just enough
To satisfy yourself


Chorus bis:

I can smell that whisky in your hair

And sen-sen on your breath

If you ever tried to tell the truth

You'd choke yourself to death

I don't want your nasty kisses

And don't tell me no more lies

Get your tongue out of my mouth

I'm kissing you goodbye

A classic, IMO.

Laura

[Bake]

36. Thank God and Greyhound She's Gone!

Roy Clark did that one, and I always liked it.

Bake

[ScreamingMeemie]

38. A serious answer,"He Stopped Loving Her Today" that title alone makes me

cry. It's a great song. Reminds me of my Father in Law.

I am a fan of pre pop era country music.

[davsand]

39. I find that song to be depressing as all get out!

The lyrics just kill me every time! I can see how it makes you cry, but that has got to be one of the most depressing songs I can think of!


He Stopped Loving Her Today Lyrics

Written by R. V. Braddock and C. Putman, Jr.

He said I'll love you 'til I die
She told him you'll forget in time
As the years went slowly by
She still preyed upon his mind

He kept her picture on his wall
Went half crazy now and then
He still loved her through it all
Hoping she'd come back again

Kept some letters by his bed
Dated 1962
He had underlined in red
Every single I love you

I went to see him just today
Oh but I didn't see no tears
All dressed up to go away
First time I'd seen him smile in years

(Chorus)
He stopped loving her today
They placed a wreath upon his door
And soon they'll carry him away
He stopped loving her today

(Spoken)
You know she came to see him one last time
Oh and we all wondered if she would
And it kept running through my mind
This time he's over her for good

(Repeat Chorus)


Odd thing about this song--I had just pulled up the lyrics in the last day or two because my husband asked me about George Jones and what songs he'd sung. He was curious because he'd seen that Jones endorsed Wes Clark...

Laura

[ScreamingMeemie]

40. It's a beautiful song to me.

:shrug:

Another Laura :hi:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

42. I love ALL THINGS George Jones!

[ScreamingMeemie]

44. Yaaay! Me too!

:hi:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

46. Classic country all the way for me

When we finally meet we can listen to my COnway Twitty, George Jones, Hag, Gilley, Cash, Wynette, PRice and evero other twangy guitar playing old time cd I have!

[ScreamingMeemie]

47. Oh, my husband's gonna love you. You guys can check out each

other's collections. We're big into Cash, Waylon, Merle, Vern Gosdin, Wynette,Lynne....Ahhh, I knew I liked you !

Hugs,Laura

[Shakespeare]

45. Best country song ever written.

There may be one or two others that could tie for first, but really...it's just an amazing song. I remember hearing it for the first time when I was 15, and even then thought "that song's going to be huge."

[The Zanti Regent]

41. Drop Kick Me Jesus, Thru the Goal Post Of Life

The title says it all...

[Westegg]

60. Yep, that was mine too. Yee--haawww!!!

[CShine]

48. If my nose was runnin' money, honey, I'd blow it all on you.

[Edge]

49. "I cheated on mom for sister"

On the next Jerry Springer...

The one sad country music song that was played at my Grandpa's funeral last year was "The Dance" by Garth Brooks. I really hate that song for it's sad. :cry:

[guitar man]

50. "I hate every bone in her body but mine"

and:

"I'd rather hear a fat girl fart than a purdy boy sing"

The latter is an actual song,the artist I can't recall right now.

[Terwilliger]

51. Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys

:yourock:

[bif]

53. "You broke my heart so I busted your jaw"

n/t

[Bridget Burke]

57. And the follow-up....

"She Broke my Heart when she Quit her Job" (the lament of the...ahem...musician)

[mac56]

54. "Daddy Had A Cardiac, Mama Got A Cadillac"

and

"She Got The Gold Mine, I Got The Shaft"

[PROGRESSIVE1]

55. MOST of Country "Music" is terrible.

Today, it's all "Jingoistic, Xenophobic, Arab bashing, Nationalistic,
Bush worshiping, violence promoting cow manure": a form of Bigotry!!!

"Grand Ole Opry" = "KK Casa"!

:puke:

Pure Hate Music.

...again: :puke:

[Loonman]

56. "My wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, and I miss him"

"Don't Cut Any Wood, Baby('cuz I'll be comin' home with a load)"

[Bridget Burke]

58. "Teenage Immigrant Welfare Mothers on Drugs"

By the Austin Lounge Lizards. They also wrote "Jesus Loves Me (but He Can't Stand You)" & "Forty Years Old & I'm Living in My Mom's Garage"

Sample lyrics from "Teenage Immigrant...."

"It's been five years since we had a raise in pay
And they disallowed my business lunches today
Somebody must have changed the rules of the game
So we've found a convenient scapegoat we can blame

"It's those teenage immigrant welfare mothers on drugs
(They're too lazy to work)
Teenage immigrant welfare mothers on drugs
(They're stealing our jobs)"