Crappy way to end a crappy week.

[lightningandsnow]

I've totally had a shitacular week, and this just tops it off...

My parents are separating. Not at the moment, they're trying to wait until August, until after my brother's bar mitzvah. He is first priority around here. I'm actually not so broken up about the separation, since I'm fucking sick of living in this house anyway, between my parents constantly fighting, and my mom taking everything out on me. She doesn't seem to like me very much. I really wish my parents would get it overwith. This is how it works in my house - everyone's willing to sacrifice my well-being for my brother. So they're putting me through six more months of hell because I DON'T MATTER. And I never have, and I never will.

The only person I can truly open up to - the only one in the "real world", at least, the only adult I can trust is in Thailand right now. She's not going to be back for about a year. I really could use having her here right now...

[huskerlaw]

1. Ugh, that sucks!

I don't really have any advice. Sometimes, being a "kid" really sucks. Especially when the "kid" is more of an adult than the adults. I've been there, it isn't fun.

My advice would be to create your own life as much as possible. Get involved in things that you enjoy and that will get you out of the house. When you're at home, try to do things that allow you to stay in your own space as much as possible.

As for your parents, just realize that this is an extremely difficult time for them, too. Clearly, they're not handling it well, but in all likelihood, they're unaware of how this is affecting you. If you haven't already, talk to them about it. Even if it doesn't change anything right away, it may sink in eventually. The trick is that you have to talk to them outside of the heat of the moment. Nothing constructive ever gets said when people are yelling at each other. So write down what you want to say and talk to them (together or one at a time) about how you feel. Don't blame them, just be very matter of fact: "I feel that my feelings aren't being considered here...I feel that my brother's well being is more important than mine..." And have concrete examples of why you feel that way.

Good luck!

[Darth_Kitten]

2. YOU matter......you have always mattered.

Don't be so hard on yourself. :hug: I wish you could find somebody now to let your feelings out to. :(

Other people acting stupid shouldn't reflect on YOU. :(

[Droopy]

3. I hear ya, AspieGrrl

Don't base your self worth on your idiotic parents' idea of it. Maybe they'll come around after the separation.

[AwakeAtLast]

4. If you are able to find one

I would suggesst you visit a counselor of some kind. Anytime there is a major change in a family unit, counseling is usually a good idea. I am so sorry that this is happening to you. :hug:

[LeftyFingerPop]

5. I am sorry you are going through this...

It sounds like a difficult situation.

For what it is worth, I have seen so many families where one sibling appears to be the favorite. I don't know what dynamics are involved, but my guess would be that you are loved just as much as your brother, however, your mom just relates to you differently.

Best of luck...hope everything works out for the best. :hug:

[lightningandsnow]

6. Thanks for the vibes...and I was wondering...

should I e-mail my friend, the one who's in Thailand, about what's going on? She's only online, like, once a week... but I could really use some kind of guidance right now.

[Droopy]

8. Get in touch with her

I'm sure she would be happy to hear from you and she might have some wise words to offer.

[Deja Q]

7. .

:hug:

You matter.