An oldie but a goodie - Don't mess with older women!

[mac56]

(An older woman gets pulled over for speeding. The officer approaches her car.)

Older Woman: Is there a problem, officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license, please?

Older Woman: I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, four years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers, please?

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk, if you want to see.

(The officer watches the woman as he slowly backs away to his squad car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars circle the car. A police sergeant slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.)

Sergeant: Ma'am, please step out of your vehicle.

(The woman steps out of her vehicle.)

Older Woman: Is there a problem, sir?

Sergeant: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Sergeant: Yes. Would you open the trunk of your car, please?

(The woman complies, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.)

Sergeant: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers (she hands them to him).

Sergeant (stunned): My officer claims that you do not have a driving license.

(The woman digs into her handbag, pulls out her license, and hands it to the sergeant. He examines the license, and looks quite puzzled.)

Sergeant: Thank you, ma'am. My officer told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.