My Daddy is dying.

[sicksicksick_N_tired]

I am trying to wrap my mind around the denial of my Momma and Dad (and distant siblings who called me, "negative", because I attempted to INFORM them,...prepare them for Dad's condition). I've just returned after witnessing my Daddy's extreme deterioration the last few days. He has lost control over the entire left side of his body.

Four months ago, he had surgery to remove a malignant tumor in his brain, with chemo waivers inserted and months of chemo cocktail and radiation.

The gift of those treatments: we had a QUALITY experience TOGETHER over the holidays notwithstanding his seizures.

This weekend, he apologized to my son, his grandson, because he can't make it up the steps without the help of three other people.

*cry*

I feel sad.

My sadness isn't about my Daddy's condition. He has more care than most will ever receive.

My sadness is about his other children's absence and, most of all, my Momma's aloneness. My Mom is burdened the most.

:shrug:

[Catshrink]

1. My thoughts are with you.

I'm sorry you're going through this and it sounds like you're going through it alone. As my mom was dying I learned first hand how these situations can bring out the worst in families. Four years on and some of my relatives still aren't speaking.

Be with your dad - you won't regret the time spent holding his hand.

:hug:

[sicksicksick_N_tired]

9. My Mom is going through it alone, not me. I have a close friend.

My siblings have "intricate" lives.

:shrug:

We manage as best as we can.

If my brothers and sister saw our Daddy, today,...they would have a different attitude and perception. But, they are,...away in their lives. Distance can do two things: grow hearts closer and/or splinter constructs of human life.

[fizzgig]

2. i am so sorry

peace and love to you and yours

:hug:

[PeaceNikki]

3. Peace and comfort to you and your family.

:hug:

[malta blue]

4. I am sorry to hear about your dad...

:hug:

I hope your siblings come around soon and support your mom - she will apppreciate you all being there.

:hug::hug:

[Sugar Smack]

5. Jesus.

That's sad, and I can't think of my dad like that, although he may be soon. Please accept my love and condolences.

[Haole Girl]

6. Hugs for you and your family

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[joeybee12]

7. Very sorry to hear this...

...thoughts and prayers are with you. :hug:

[texanwitch]

8. So sorry to hear about you Dad.

Enjoy the time he has left.

:hug:

[begin_within]

10. So sorry...

you're doing the right thing by being with him as much as you can. His other children will regret not being there with him, and they will carry that regret with them for years afterwards. You will have no regrets.

[Whoa_Nelly]

11. Difficult and sad

Will be keeping you and yours in my thoughts :hug:

[Ilsa]

12. I am so sorry. My mom went through a debilitating period before she

finally succumbed. Fortunately for her, when she got closer to the end, it happened very quickly. My mom was a proud woman who didn't want to be cared for like a baby. We all had a chance to spend time with her, care for her, and let her know what a wonderful mom she was to all of us.

You and your family will be in my thoughts. Treasure every day.

[sicksicksick_N_tired]

13. I do what I do best,...

,...hug and peck and say, as often as possible, "I Love You".

[Lars39]

14. I grieved hard during the last few months of my mom's life,

mostly for the same things you are. I knew how alone and lonely my dad was going to be and it just ate me up. Dealing with family who aren't on the same page regarding a loved one's condition is very difficult. :hug:

[xchrom]

15. Peace to you and your family.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

16. Peaceful and sustaining vibes to you and your family at this time

:hug:

[Inchworm]

17. Sorry SnT

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

18. I'm very sorry

so sad about the family

grief is about those left behind

hugs to your Mom

:hug:

and to you

:hug:

[Zoigal]

19. My sincere sympathy

and lots of hugs for you and your mom.
So glad you are there for them both. z

[WildEyedLiberal]

20. I'm so sorry

Here, have a hug.

:hug:

Kicking this because if people have the energy to reply 100 times to Super Bowl threads, they can surely reply to this.

[MonkeyFunk]

21. I'm very sorry to hear that

you have my sympathies.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

22. You are in my thoughts

I'm glad you had good time together over the holidays - I know he appreciates you for that. I'm sorry you and your Mom have to go through this. :hug:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

23. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers...

:hug::hug::hug:

[skater314159]

24. My thoughts are with you and your family

at this time. Losing your parents is tough... I lost my dad in '04, and it still sucks.

If you need to talk, or vent, or whatever, I'm here - and so is everyone here in the Lounge! :grouphug:

:loveya: Sending peaceful, loving vibes your way!

:hippie:

[Connonym]

25. I'm so sorry

What you are going through is so difficult. Unfortunately there's nothing you can do to change your siblings' behavior. Your presence for your father and for your mother is a valuable thing. I'm brought to tears thinking about this because I know how hard it is to lose a parent. I wish you peace of heart and soul. Perhaps your siblings will get their shit together, maybe they're in denial, I don't know but I do know that their behavior isn't a burden for you to carry. As painful as this is, all you can do is be there for your mom and dad and give them your love. :hug:

[Kajsa]

26. Oh, no! I'm so sorry.

You are your family are in my prayers and thoughts.

I have been there with my dad.


:hug:

[emilyg]

27. My love to you and your family.

[fortyfeetunder]

28. Sorry to hear your story.

your siblings will come to terms sooner or later, sorry you are dealing with so much.
:hug:

[Indi Guy]

29. It's common for people to be in denial when it comes to facing the loss of a loved one...

When I lost my Mom, I had to be convinced to fly to Florida in time to say goodbye. I'm so glad I did; not just to say goodbye to Mom (although she was in a coma & couldn't respond) -- but also because I could comfort Dad. We held each other & wept openly.

Dad misses her more than he could ever put into words, but he has someone who he doesn't have to explain his feelings to.

Looks like your Mom has the same in you.

Peace to you and your family.

[sicksicksick_N_tired]

44. My Mom only allows herself to 'let go' in my presence.

She serves as "THEE ANCHOR" to this family; always has and always will.

I have the honor of being an anchor to her.

Thank YOU for sharing your common experience. Perhaps, people NEED to embrace the importance of identifying and empathizing with experiences common to our struggle through this thing called, "life" rather than be distracted, even obsessed with all that outside our control.

The outcome, the future is NOT within anyone's control. Why not take a stand for the lives around you, NOW, without fear of those who COULD oppress you?

My parents have weighed treatment on the actions of insurance companies.

They are being "pragmatic".

[Ariana Celeste]

30. i'm sorry honey

:hug:

[FloridaJudy]

31. I'm so sorry.

I can't even express how sad this makes me. No words of comfort. Just a hug.

:hug:

[krispos42]

32. Oh, man...

that sounds terrible indeed.

:-(


:hug:

[puerco-bellies]

33. I wish there were words that could ease the pain..

Peace to you and yours.

[Lady Freedom]

34. ------------------

[LaurenG]

35. I am so sorry

:hug:

[donheld]

36. I'm so sorry

:hug:

[Callalily]

37. So sorry to hear of your

dad's illness. Sending strength to you and your mom. :hug:

[michaz]

38. The loss of a parent is so difficult.

These are the people that were always there for you. They protected you, cared for you and taught you all the things of life. Feel free to mourn. It is part of the process. I lost both of my parents within 4 days of each other and it was heartbreaking. You have my thoughts and sympathy.

[QMPMom]

39. I am so sorry.

I am waiting on "the call" from my sister. My Dad is dying as well. It could be in an hour or in a week.

You have my most heartfelt sympathy.

[hippywife]

40. Your mom does have you

who understands and is willing to be there for them both. Take heart in being there and doing all you can do to ease this for them as much as possible. :hug:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

41. best wishes.

hugs to you

[LynzM]

42. I'm so sorry to hear that....

My heart goes out to you, and your mom... :hug:

[RFKHumphreyObama]

43. I'm so very sorry

My deepest and sincerest thoughts, prayers and best wishes to your dad, you and your family. I'm so, so sorry about the news and I'm so sorry to hear about your family's reaction:hug: :hug: :hug:

[uppityperson]

45. My condolences, having a spouse or parent die is just plain hard.

I never wanted to see my parent die, but was very glad I was there for it. We each do what we can as we can when it happens, and I appreciate your sadness about the other sibs and your mom.

[applegrove]

46. Sorry for your family. Sending you vibes.

[SalmonChantedEvening]

47. You and your family are in my thoughts sss_N_t

:hug:

Having a sibling or siblings absent from your life when they should be close to you leaves a void all it's own. I know. :hug: :loveya: