It sounds stupid but this is the first Super Bowl in 15 years that I

[ScreamingMeemie]

haven't shared, in some way, with my husband. And it sucks. I almost can't stand football anymore.

Congrats Giants fans.

[malta blue]

1. ...

:hug:

I'm sorry MrsGrumpy :cry:

[KitchenWitch]

2. Your thread brings it all back into perspective.

:hug:

I know my virtual hug is not nearly enough.

[ScreamingMeemie]

7. In my crazy, twisted brain, I didn't want this season to be over because

it started when he was alive. We watched preseason games together and he was so excited for the Lions. Strange what this does to a person.

[KitchenWitch]

12. I hate, for you, that memories are all you have left.

:hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

15. ...

Thanks. I'm just finding out it doesn't seem to be enough. And they hurt so bad and I hate that I can't look at his picture.
God, I've got to stop now. :hug:

[Inchworm]

3. Not stupid at all

:hug:

[Debi]

4. So sorry Mrs. Grumpy

:hug:

[SOteric]

5. Sweetie,

Just :hug:

Because I'm very well aware that this goes beyond words and there's nothing anyone could say.

Just know in your heart that if I could push an eject button and shoot all the pain and heartache in your life into the Twilight Zone, I would.

[JVS]

6. .

:hug:

[1gobluedem]

8. I can't say anything

Except to offer a :hug: You know I am always thinking of you and your family.

[AlCzervik]

9. I'm so sorry .

i can't begin to imagine how difficult things have been for you but please know you're in my thoughts like all the time.:hug:

[johnnie]

10. No words

Just :hug:

[Sugar Smack]

11. Hey, it doesn't sound even a mite stupid to me. I'm

sending you as many hugs as you can hold right now, and my support for you in everything.:hug: I know that the ache is horrible.

[Sugar Smack]

14. I sort of foist this on people I think need it.

Lauryn Hill: Selah.
Nothing can be done against the truth
No matter how we remain in denial
Wasting time, replacing time with each and every excuse
But that will only work a little while
Coping with despair
Knowing you're not there
Ashamed to just admit I've been a fool
So I blame it on the sun
Run away from everyone
Hoping to escape this ridicule
Trapped in misery
Wrapped so miserably
And his deception I wear it like a skin

Dying to maintain
While I keep trying to explain
A heart that never loved me to begin with
Oh I'm such a mess
I have no choice but to confess
That I have been desperately trying to belong
Lying to myself and everybody else
Refusing to admit my right was wrong

And then he came, Selah
And it means praise and meditation
And then he came, Selah
And it means did you think about that

And then he came, Selah
And it means praise and meditation
And then he came, Selah
And it means that you see

How beautiful his fruits still in denial of its roots
My guilty heart behaves so foolishly
This treason from within that reasons with my sin
Won't be happy till it sees the death of me
Selfishly addicted to a life that I depicted
Conflicted cuz its not reality
All that's left of me
Oh I beg you desperately
Cause me to agree for what I know is best for me
Please save me from myself
I need to save me from myself
Please save me from myself
Please save me from myself so I can hear you

The choices that I make have been nothing but mistakes
What a waste of useless space
Should I die before I wake
And all of my religion
I've fortified this prison
Obligated to obey, that the man's bad decision
Please save me from myself
I need you to save me from myself
Please save me from myself
Please save me from myself so I can hear you

And then he came, Selah
And it means praise and meditation
And then he came, Selah
And it means did you think about that
And he came, Selah
And it means meditation
And then he came, Selah
And it means that it's you

And then it came
And then he came and he came and he came
And then he
And then he came

[JohnnyLib2]

13. No suitable words, lump in throat, wishes

for strength and eventual peace for you..:hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

16. It is what it is.

And apparently it makes me a petulant 2 year old playing a widow card.

I wish you all well. Goodnight and thanks.

[SPKrazy]

17. ...

:hug: :hug:

you take care, okay Mrs. G?

[Meshuga]

18. Thanks for the congrats, MrsGrumpy

And I am so sorry about your husband. :-(

Here is a hug for you. :hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

19. Don't be sorry.

I guess I'm just "playing a card".

[Meshuga]

20. I read that in the other thread

It was pretty wrong thing for him/her to say and everyone can see that. I can't believe someone could be such a senseless jerk.

[merh]

21. Darling, don't you dare let that comment bother you

:hug:

you remain in my prayers. :loveya:

[ScreamingMeemie]

22. I should not have come back here because I can't act normal

anymore. And it shows too much. and I've forgotten how to be civil. Take care.

[Flaxbee]

24. please don't go away

you know, there really is no "normal". I just ache for you, MrsGrumpy, and I'm so sorry for all your sadness and heartache. Don't let some senseless jerk's comment keep you away - unfortunately, you will always encounter hateful people in life, no place is really ever safe, but so many people here care very much for you -- I hope our presence outweighs the bad stuff; but do whatever feels best. I simply can't imagine what you've had to deal with this past year. :hug:

[merh]

25. Take it from me

one of life's "victims" - you won't be "normal" like you were - you will create a new normal. I didn't loose what you lost, but the world I knew was taken from me in a matter of hours, all I knew, all that made me safe and brought me joy, all that I had worked for and gave me comfort, gone and I won't ever get that life back. Your's is much deeper a wound, you had part of yourself amputated and you have the phantom feelings, as if the half is still with you, but it isn't and you still need that half. It will take you time to be civil again, to be normal and it won't be the same normal you knew. You will find a new normal and the pain will ease, there will be scar tissue forever, but you will learn to live without and the memories will be your comfort.

Take good care of yourself and don't stay away, screw the shits that don't understand. They are just pixels on a screen, they don't matter. Too many people who love and that do matter are here to listen, to give a shoulder, to bitch with and to love you. :hug:

:loveya:

[Boudica the Lyoness]

30. My dear you belong here

This is a place you can come when your hurting and talk about it to people who care.
I'm so sorry for your loss and I wish there was something I could say or do to help you.
We don't expect you to act 'normal' not after what you went through. Friends and people who care don't mind when you vent.

[sueh]

32. Now, you just stay right here, young lady...

you're not going anywhere. We don't want you to. So there. :P
Okay, my bad attempt at some humor. We really do want you to be here. :hi:

[Skittles]

37. no you're OK MrsGrumpy

you stay here, girl

[UrbScotty]

23. I find nothing stupid in what you said.

I simply can not bear to imagine what it must be like for you.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

26. MrsGrumpy, it's not stupid at all...

:hug:

[RFKHumphreyObama]

27. I'm so very sorry MrsGrumpy

My thoughts and prayers go out to you beyond what my words could adequately convey. I wish you peace, comfort, strength and healing and the same to your family as well :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[puerco-bellies]

28. .

:hug:

[Maddy McCall]

29. Very sorry about that, Laura.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

You are in my thoughts frequently.

[sueh]

31. Naw, that's okay Mrs G...

you're better off sharing your feelings and talking about these things. Get it off your chest and out in the open. Don't let it fester inside. We're always here you.
:grouphug:

[libnnc]

33. Mrs. G.

My dad died in 1977 just 2 weeks after the Superbowl. My mom had cable tv wired into his hospital room so he wouldn't miss it. He had his final heart attack on the 26th. I was 6 years old. I used to spend Sundays with my dad and we watched football together while mom was at church. For a long time after he died, football season (especially the SB) was a very painful time for me. But I always made myself watch the games because it was the only thing I had left of him.

My memories of him were very few -- football, homemade popcorn, Johnny Cash and his love of cars were all I had left of him. I am terribly sorry for your loss and there are no words to make this any easier.

Just know that you are not alone. The pain doesn't go away. It's just different. :hug: :hug: :hug:

[flvegan]

34. I love you, MrsG.

It doesn't sound stupid at all.

I wish you and yours well.

[Redstone]

35. It's OK, Mrs G, it's OK.

Redstone

[Skittles]

36. aw, MrsGrumpy

I'm so sorry my sweet