Breaking news: Clinton wins x%, Obama y% in California!

[krispos42]

Margin of error is ±50 percentage points for hand-counted ballots, ±60 points for machine-counted ballots, and ±150 points for paperless electronic-touch machines. Diebold, Sequoia, and ES&S released press statements saying that the machines operated properly and within expected margins of error.

Also breaking: John Edwards, in a suprising move Monday, endorsed the late Abe Vigoda in the 2008 Democratic primaries. When reached for comment, Mr. Vigoda replied "I'm not dead, you idiot!".

Not to be out-done, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney declared former president Ronald Reagan as his running mate. When reached for comment, President Reagan replied "Please... get... me... out... so... dark... and... cold... no... jelly... beans".

Fellow Republican candidates John McCain and Mike Huckabee immediately converged on Reagan's gravesite and all three began fighting over the mortal remains of President Reagan with two spades and a pickaxe. No one was injured when Park Rangers arrived to contain the violence. McCain's crustyness, Huckabee's loose skin, and Romeny's super-hold hair gel effectively protected them from blows about the body and head.

Former New York City Mayor and former Republican presidential candidate Rudy Guliani was quoted as saying "Grave digging nine-eleven". Senator Joe Biden replied "See, told you so!"

:-)











Okay, can we relax now?

[Indi Guy]

1. You're in the wrong forum... n/t

[krispos42]

2. I think the Lounge needs it tonight...

:-)