Idiot Driver of a Giant SUV (rant)

[Coyote_Bandit]

So I went to lunch today. In the rain. Hard rain. Lots of good size puddles in the parking lot. Falling temperatures. I parked well within the lines marked to designate the parking space I occupied in the back row as far away from the front door as possible. Place was not busy when I arrived. When I went out to leave I found that some bastard driving an enormous SUV had parked less than a foot from the driver's side of my vehicle. A 6 year old midget (nothing against kids or small people) would not have been able to open my door and crawl behind the steering wheel. I had no choice but to get into the passenger side of the vehicle, scoot across the front seat and hoist myself over the center console in order to get behind the wheel. A maneuver I found both physically painful and something less than ..... graceful. And backing out to leave was a real bitch. Hard to turn when you have so little clearance on one side - and another row of parked vehicles behind you (passage between the rows of cars was only one car width). Before getting in my car I left a note on the asshat's windshield asking if it was possible for him to park a little closer to my vehicle. In doing so I noticed that he(? - perhaps the driver was female?) had managed to leave at least three feet of space between his driver door and the vehicle parked to his left. And, yes, there were other parking spots available. My word to drivers of gigantic SUV's? If you can't even park the f*cker then stay home. After finally extricating myself I went and voted.

What the fuck is wrong with people? Please tell.




Edit for spelling

[MissMillie]

1. I had that happen to me once

only the person on the passenger's side was too close too. I had to crawl in through the hatch of my car.

Both of these big vehicles were parked in spaces marked "compact cars only".

then there's the whole bit about trying to back out when you can't see around the giant SUV/pick-up that has parked next to you.....

[Coyote_Bandit]

4. This was

a full-size parking space. But you're right. It could have been much worse. Not sure it would be possible to crawl through the trunk to the steering wheel. No hatchback here.

[Deep13]

2. "What the fuck is wrong with people? Please tell."

I think you answered that yourself in your subject line. x(

[Coyote_Bandit]

6. This happened in

crazy red (J)Oklahoma. I looked for fundie or repuke bumper stickers on the offending vehicle but didn't see any.

[Deep13]

16. The truck pretty much is the bumper sticker.

It says, "ME! Me me me me me! Me-e-e-e-e!"

[Parche]

3. i feel your pain

I despise SUV's, any SUV, i dont care if it gets 100mpg, I despise them all
nothing but ego vehicles....:grr: :grr: :grr: :grr: :hi:

[Coyote_Bandit]

10. Agreed with few exceptions

I have an elderly family member who has mobility problems and has lots of problems getting in and out of normal cars. He and his wife traded in their luxury car for an Escape Hybrid because it was something other than a pickup truck that was comfortable for him. Mind you the wife still does not like the SUV but she considers it a necessary compromise for his comfort.

[Name removed]

36. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[ScreamingMeemie]

56. We bought ours because my mother (who wanted it in the first place)

stuck my father with it in the divorce, and he couldn't afford it. We sold him our car and took over the payments on his. And I can use it for work. It had nothing to do with "ego". Thanks for being kind.

[Sugar Smack]

5. I've had this sort of "curse" wherein

it just doesn't matter where I park in an empty lot, I'm going to be flanked by the tallest, hugest SUVs when I return to my car. It makes it almost impossible to get out of a parking space. No vision whatsoever.

[Coyote_Bandit]

11. Really

sometimes I think there should be restrictions on passenger vehicles. They should not sit so high that they obscure vision. ANd they should not be so high that they could run over the top of another vehile in a head on collision.

But nobody asked me.....

[Sugar Smack]

19. Hey, I sort of did.

You opened the door, anyway. Metaphorically speaking. :P Good point, too, about the running over my little car in a head-on collision. I loved that.

[Coyote_Bandit]

24. Years ago I worked insurance claims

Unfortunately, I have seen the effects of such head on collisions. Not pretty. Saw one where the SUV went up and over the car and flipped ejecting the SUV driver who was killed. Frontal impact to the car went into the rear seat compartment. The driver and front seat passenger were killed instantly. One was nearly decapitated. The back seat passenger was severly injured. Triple fatality accident. The SUV driver was drunk and the car slowed as he approached which meant that it absorbed most of the energy.

[DS1]

7. My car is old and pretty banged up

so I just bang the shit out of whatever's next to me with the door.

Fuck em.

[MissMillie]

9. lol

years ago, I drove to a restaurant and the parking lot was full... well, almost. One patron had decided that to protect his car from being dinged by anyone who may park nearby, they would park slant-ways across 2 parking spots.

Ok, so I wait until someone leave and I take the next spot. While I'm waiting I write out a note to leave on the crooked parker...

"I'm sorry about the dent in your car. It probably wouldn't have happened if you hadn't parked the way you did."

I left it on the windshield.

I hope the idiot spent an hour looking for the dent.

[Coyote_Bandit]

14. I'm going to remember that tactic

Mind if I use it next time I encounter a similar asshat?

[MissMillie]

15. I would be proud to be emulated!

:hi:

[Coyote_Bandit]

21. .

:hi:

[Coyote_Bandit]

13. If

I could have gotten in the driver's door I thik I might have taken great pleasure in doing just that.....

[grace0418]

25. Well, once in the vehicle you could always open your driver's side door because

"the seat belt is stuck" and then "OOPS! So, sorry, I guess I didn't realize how close I was to your giant SUV. Oh wait. YOU parked that close TO ME."

[One_Life_To_Give]

8. Size don't matter

Could of been a Mini and they still would have parked 12" from your door. Maybe we should require vehicals over 5000lb GVWR to be Commercial Drivers only.

[Coyote_Bandit]

17. True

bad drivers are not just SUV driver's.

[redqueen]

12. "What the fuck is wrong with people?"

Idiocracy, dude.

It's REAL! :scared:

[Coyote_Bandit]

18. Yeah and

this is crazy red (J)Oklahoma.

I am soooooooo looking forward to seeing (J)Oklahoma in my rear view mirror. Permanently.

[redqueen]

27. SO not surprised to hear that...

I live in TX... and work in an affluent area... those giant frickin monstrosities outnumber sensible vehicles by about 10:1.

I feel the same way you do on that rear view mirror thing. :hi:

[Coyote_Bandit]

29. Hey

I used to live in Texas.....

I joke about mooning the city limit sign on my way out of town and burning the dirt of Oklahoma from my feet. These Okies don't know just how serious I am.

Can somebody photoshop a Tulsa city limit sign being mooned? Me thinks it would make a great desktop for my computer.....




:)

[Oeditpus Rex]

20. I keep some of these in my glove compartment

http://www.youparklikeanasshole.com/



And, yeah — I've used 'em a coupla times. :D

[Coyote_Bandit]

26. Ooooowwwww

Going to stock my glovebox. Thanks.

[DS1]

31. printed 10 copies

sweet!

[KitchenWitch]

39. bookmarked!

[Scout]

55. eeeeeexxxxxxcellent! thanks n/t

[grace0418]

22. Grrrrrr. I've had that happen more times than I can count. Coming back from lunch today

I had one of my other favorite SUV moves happen right in front of me (and yes, the vast majority of the time, the person is driving an SUV). I'm at a red light, waiting to go straight. Someone facing the other direction is waiting to turn left. There isn't an arrow when the light turns green, so the asshole guns the engine and turns in front of me, forcing me to either hit them or stop. This time it was a woman, one hand holding her cell phone, in her gigantic Mercedes SUV. Laws don't apply to her, and neither do manners.

[Coyote_Bandit]

30. That's another fav

One my way to lunch today - less than a half mile from the resturant - I was stopped at a red light to go straight. The SUV in the left hand turn lane next to me decided he wanted to go straight and angled his vehicle into my lane. He sat that way through two light cycles before clearing his lane enabling vehicles to make left hand turns. One of the busiest intersections in town. And a left turn was necessary for anyone wanting to get on the highway.

[huskerlaw]

23. I have totally done that before!

No, not parked a giant SUV right next to someone's car. But rather, I have been in your position and left a note on the windshield that conveyed my discontent.

In my case, it was a Hummer (big ol' shocker there) that not only parked right up against my driver's side, but managed to do so at an angle, such that the back of the Hummer actually crossed the line and partially blocked my stall.

To make matters worse, it was a busy parking garage next to a large area with lots of shopping and businesses (ok, it was a parking garage just off Santa Monica Blvd...at Rodeo Drive, but I digress), so there was really no telling when said jackass would return to his or her car.

It took me fifteen (15!) minutes to pull out of that fucking parking space. And as soon as I finally got the car out, I jumped out to place the note on the windshield...and was applauded by a line of cars that was waiting for a spot. They were just as pissed as I was, since Hummer-bastard had effectively rendered that space unusable.

Good on you for leaving the note, it was definitely justified.

[Coyote_Bandit]

32. I'm usually a little reluctant

to leave notes - or to flip off dipshit drivers. I've had other driver's chase me. Once about 20 years ago after I flipped them off. I suppose I can understand that. And that was the last time I flipped off another driver.

The guy who ran the stop sign at a T intersection and nearly broadsided me and then proceeded to chase me for about a mile and a half (until he figured out I was driving to the police stations I suppose)? Not so much.

[TrogL]

53. I keep a baseball bat in my car for that purpose

and a ball and glove so I can tell the officer "Oh, I just love baseball".

I've only had to use it once - some idiot walked up to my window waving a knife. Baseball bat has a better reach.

[BreweryYardRat]

42. New resolution: Anyone who parks like that with me gets the air caps(?) removed from their tires.

They probably won't notice for weeks.

[EnviroBat]

28. Almost got obliterated by a fucker in a Ford Excretion this morning...

Stupid piece of self-absorbed shit blew the light and almost took out me as well as the vehicle in front of me. This was a another dumpster on wheels vs small Suzuki. I would have probably needed to be cut out of my car if it hadn't been for a quick, defensive reaction on my part. I'd like to see a device installed in the steering wheel of all SUV's that delivers a quick, sharp punch to the face when the key is inserted in the ignition. This would effectively increase blood flow to the head thusly enabling the driver to concentrate on the task of driving. I don't know though. Many SUV drivers keep their heads permanently stuffed up their asses, so maybe the device wouldn't have the desired effect.

[Coyote_Bandit]

33. Glad

you are ok. That has happened to me. Scary.

There are two things I do when I see SUV's driving behind me:

(1) I leave extra space between my vehicle and the vehicle in front of me. My general observation is that SUV drivers tend to be more aggressive and they tend to tailgate more than other types of vehicles. Since I know somebody who was carjacked I also consider this practice a matter of personal safety.

(2) If I am forced to stop in an outside lane where a right hand turn lane originates I will block access to that lane unless there clearly is enough room in the street for a large vehicle to clear my vehicle at the right rear. I've had too many folks with high clearance vehicles pass on my right rear while driving up on the sidewalk and leaving only a couple of inches clearance with my vehicle. Fuck 'em.

[LisaM]

34. I seriously think they should have to have a special license to drive them

The states can use the extra fees to pay for the wear and tear on the roads. Plus, it would ensure that the people who drive them know how to handle them, and know how they obscure visibility of people in smaller cars. They throw up a lot of splash in the rain, too.

A lady in a giant SUV drove up and parked right next to us the other day. We'd been in the spot (in our compact) for about 5 seconds. There were at least six empty spaces on the other side of us. She then proceeded to open her door, and the back door to get her kids out of the car, thereby preventing me from getting out. She saw me looking at her and didn't apologize and didn't hurry, either.

[Coyote_Bandit]

37. A lot of these large SUVs

are considered farm class vehicles simply because they are so large. Why do we allow farm class vehicles to be used as passenger vehicles? In cities? And why do we give tax deductions to encourage folks to buy these monstrosities? Other oversize vehicles (think box trucks and 18 wheelers) often pay higher tag and toll fees. I'm all for making taxing these monstrosities. And some vehicle class specific driver education is definitely in order.

[One_Life_To_Give]

45. Whats a "Farm Class Vehical"

I have seen it as a registration class but never as a vehical identifier.

Federal Law at this time requires vehical specific licensing at 26,001 lbs. Some states have lower limits and there is a exemption for RV's.

Also registration as a passenger vehical, at least is some states, is limited to Light duty vehicals. Medium Duty (10,001 lbs+) requires a different registration such as commercial.

[Coyote_Bandit]

46. You can read about the tax breaks

available to SUV owners here:

http://www.bankrate.com/brm/itax/biz_tips/20030403a1.asp

These breaks were originally intended primarily for farmers. There were not luxury vehicles that exceeded 6000 lb gross vehicle weight and the only folks that drove vehicles that large used then in their work.

[One_Life_To_Give]

47. Depending on state there are negatives to Buisiness vehicals

Commercial Licence plates are required for buisiness owned vehicals.
Local zoning may prohibit keeping a commercial vehical in a residential area.

That should put a preatty good dent in people buying Luxury vehicals and listing them as owned by their buisiness.

[Coyote_Bandit]

49. And in some states

commercial license plates are priced the same as individual plates. Just a few years back, in Oklahoma commercial plates were actually cheaper than regular plates. Vehicles had to be marked "commercial vehicle" and it seemed that half the vehciles in the state were. And you could certainly drive them home and park them in the neighborhood. Still can. But they are not as popular now.

[One_Life_To_Give]

52. Well come up to the Northeast

In addition we charge Commercial vehicals a higher rate at tolls. Ban them from Parkways and an automatic fine for being caught in the third lane of a highway.

Not that anybody other than the Farmer, Plumber, Roofer etc. should get a tax break for buying a large SUV. But till something changes down there. I think you will find fewer SUV's on the road up here. And that many who might have thought of trying to get the tax break decided the inconveniences were not worth it.

[Shakespeare]

51. That's not correct. They're classified as "light trucks" so they can avoid the CAFE standards...

...that would otherwise apply to vehicles that size. It's obscene.

Edited to add: the tax loophole you reference was expanded to include all "light truck" vehicles, which now apply almost exclusively to big SUVs.

[LisaM]

35. Self delete

dupe

[Scout]

38. You need to make a really big, very sticky sticker that says:

"I hope you don't fuck like you park, or you'll never get it in."

Or something to that effect ... then stick that baby right on their windshield!

I have this happen a lot, and not just from SUVs. Any vehicle can be driven by an asshole.

[Crazy Dave]

43. Now that's really stupid advice

Giving people advice that you probably wouldn't do yourself. Tell us the truth. Do you have stickers like that in your global warming SUV?

[Scout]

57. someone pee in your wheaties Dave? n/t

[baldguy]

40. "Idiot Driver of a Giant SUV" is a redundancy.

[BreweryYardRat]

41. I drive a station wagon, and almost always try to make sure I'm parked straight.

Other people in Florida are less considerate. I've been sorely tempted to key cars a couple times. (Why hello, asshole who parked his Corvette smack down the center line between two spaces.)

[trof]

44. Here's what my daughter did:

My daughter and her 5 year old son and 7 month old daughter had some errands to run this afternoon.

Just as they got to the mall, Jack had to pee.
RIGHT NOW!
She keeps an empty bottle in the car for just such emergencies.
So Jack peed in the bottle, no problem.

When she got back to the car some idiot had parked so close that she couldn't get the door open wide enough to get Charlotte's 'bucket' back into the rack fastened to the car seat.
So she had to horse it in from the other side.

And then my darling daughter took Jack's bottle of pee and poured it all over the offending car.
:rofl:
You don't want to mess with this lady.

[pokerfan]

50. Don't pour it on the offending vehicle

Pour it down the fresh air intake vent.

Or (less detructive) use a valve stem removal tool to remove the stems from at least two tires. Then tape the stems to the windshield.

[bif]

48. At least it wasn't a Patriot SUV

[ThatsMyBarack]

54. Want to see some photos?

Check this out: http://www.flickr.com/groups/93742085@N00/ ;)