Birthday poems

[seemunkee]

My wife and her oldest friend write poems to each other on their birthdays. I'm putting together along with some drawings to get them bound in a book. Here's one:

OLD IS OLD

A DOWNBEAT POEM, FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY

Old is old, there’s no way out
Shingles, wrinkles, painful gout
Milk that magnesia for all it’s worth
Wear an old man’s undershirt

Eat your Maypo, eat smashed peas
Blow and burp and drool and wheeze
Grab your partner, do si don’t
Your bladder will, your liver won’t

For this we cannot bear
To feast our eyes upon their size
Is not delightful fare]

Oh birthday girl, we love you so
Despite these nasty words that flow
For in our hearts, you know that we
Will care for your infirmities

We’ll wipe that dinner from your face
And wheel you to a pleasant place
Where rivers flow with Geritol
And liver spots aren’t bad at all

Old is old, so don’t you pout
For soon we all deserve it
Crust is crust and mold is gross
No matter how you serve it