Let's say you are dating someone and you are also being treated for mental illness

[Droopy]

At what point in the relationship would you reveal that you have a mental illness? Would it be a deal breaker for you if someone you were dating turned out to have a mental illness?

I have a severe mental illness, but I have been successfully treated for nearly five years. If you met me you probably wouldn't know that I have a mental illness unless I told you. I have tried a dating service that caters to mentally ill people, and I've met some nice women there, but nobody close to where I live.

I understand this is something a potential mate would need to know and I would not attempt to hide my illness. It's just a question of how soon I should make her aware of it.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear Droopy...

This is a toughie!

Of course you need to tell her. Early on, I expect.

But on the first date?

I'd say no...

I don't know, actually...

I hope someone will...

It would not be a deal breaker for me...

And I suspect that it wouldn't be a deal breaker for any real woman...

Good luck!

:hug:

[Corgigal]

2. If you're in a serious steady relationship

then I would think about the 3/4 month mark would be correct. Not too soon, not too late.

[DarkTirade]

3. I'd like to think that I'd be honest up front

but since I'm not in that situation, I can't say for certain.

I do think honesty up front is best, even if it means that that person decides that he or she can't handle it. At the very least, you'll still have someone out there who cares about you, even if that person doesn't stay with you.

[fizzgig]

4. i can't remember when i told my guy

i would say tell them after maybe three or so dates, get a feel of how you two work together. as far as it being a deal breaker, mental illness wouldn't be much of a deal breaker for me as long as they are being treated and the treatment is successful. that said, my last so had the same diagnosis as i, but he was also an alcoholic, so that made for a volatile situation that was not healthy for me.

[yawnmaster]

5. After exactly 47 hours of conversation...

Of course they may not like the stopwatch you are continually clicking.
j/k

Seriously, I don't think its a first date issue because, frankly, there is so much more that will limit the occurrence of a second date.
You may find during the first date that you don't get along politically or religiously, or you have no interests in common, or many other reasons.
If you detect there is some chemistry after the first date, and there is a second date, that might be the time.

just my opinion, of course, and on the fly.

[porphyrian]

6. Tell them as soon as you decide you like the person.

If you've just met them or they suck as a person, they don't need to know. If you think the relationship might go anywhere though, you should let them know as soon as possible. While some people still have a weird ignorance of and aversion to mental illness, most people have someone with it in their family or group of friends and they can handle it, especially if you're fine while treated. They'd be more upset with you if they didn't find out until later.

[petronius]

7. I'd say a couple of dates into the relationship

Somewhere around the point where it becomes clear that there is a commitment, and neither of you is dating anyone else. I've found that those getting-to-know-you conversation tend to turn naturally to serious topics when the time is right - I wouldn't worry to much about scheduling it.

Personally, if I was dating someone with a non-noticeable illnes that had been successfully treated for years, I wouldn't think it was any big deal. Even a noticeable illness (e.g. obvious depression) isn't anywhere close to a dealbreaker...

[harmonicon]

8. I'd just say don't hide it

Obviously the prospect of this is troubling you, so maybe you should just get it off your chest. I don't think anyone worth their salt would think any less of someone because they had an illness, mental or otherwise. Maybe if you had aids or another very serious STD it might be worth mentioning early on in what is clearly set up to be a romantic relationship.... any other type of illness doesn't need to be addressed, I wouldn't think.