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Edited on Tue Feb-12-08 05:33 PM by Omphaloskepsis
They pack up some sandwiches, snacks, salads and sodas and head out to the chosen site, which is ten miles away from where the turtles live. Because they are turtles, and because they are carrying things, it takes them ten full days to get there.
When they finally arrive, they hungrily unpack the picnic basket. But something is wrong!
"Where's the bottle opener?" said the oldest turtle. "I told you to bring it!"
"I thought YOU had it," said the youngest turtle, to the middle turtle.
"Oh yeah. I completely forgot. Well, I'm sorry. I guess we won't have soda. I'll buy you guys a beer when we get back home."
"Not acceptable," cried the alpha turtle "you're going to march your forgetting ass back home and get the bottle opener."
"But that'll take FOREVER!"
"We'll wait."
"Seriously? Okay, well, you have to swear to me that you won't touch any of the food until I get back. Not a bite. Do you swear it?"
"We solemnly swear it," pledged the other two turtles in unison.
So the forgetful turtle heads off to go get the bottle opener.
Fifteen days later, he still hasn't returned. The two turtles are very hungry, and figured he should be back by now, but a promise is a promise, so they resolved to wait awhile longer.
Five days later, no sign of him. The two waiting turtles are absolutely ravenous, but again, a promise is a promise, and it just wouldn't do to eat any of the food while their forgetful companion was on a such a demanding and punitive errand.
Three days later, the youngest turtle just can't take it anymore. "I know that a promise is a promise, but I AM STARVING. What's more, the food's going to go bad. You know what, I HAVE TO EAT SOMETHING!."
With that, he plods directly over to the picnic basket, opens it, removes a sandwich and takes a huge bite.
From behind a rock, the forgetful turtle pops up and shouts "That's it. Just for that, I'm not fucking going."
edit :: fucked it up a bit..
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