I'm going to be an angsty teen and rant about my love life.

[lightningandsnow]

...lack therof, actually.

Pretty much everyone I've ever been attracted to attracted to is either a)Straight b)Taken c)Emotionally unavailable.

I guess that's what happens when you're a socially awkward lesbian. *Sigh*

[DarkTirade]

1. Don't feel bad.

I'm 26 and I'm going through the same thing.

There's just less drama at my age. :P

[crim son]

2. double post, sorry!

...

[crim son]

3. I think it just happens.

I'm 44 and straight and feel just as hopeless. But don't give up! You are young, intelligent and attractive and the right person will recognize you to be utterly lovable and desirable. :hug:

[Gormy Cuss]

4. Rant away.

Sometimes it helps. :hi:

[lightningandsnow]

5. Well, there's this one girl

Who I definitely get a bit of gaydar from, except she apparently has a boyfriend. Also, it occasionally seems like she's kind of hitting on me, but what the hell do I know?

[DarkTirade]

7. Could be bi/pan/ect., but if she's with someone right now that could be a problem.

[Gormy Cuss]

8. Ow. That is a nutshell is why dating sucks.

Mixed signals all over the place. When I was your age I had perfect radar: I was attracted only to guys who wouldn't give me the time of day and in turn the only guys who seemed interested in me were the ones that I would rather have repelled. It was a frigging weird time but it did get better in my 20s.

[Shell Beau]

6. I think it just happens. Being a teen can be really tough.

[GreenPartyVoter]

15. Yep. I remember being so desperate for a boyfriend freshamn year of high school. But because

it was such a small town everyone already knew me and didn't like me. My only chance was when someone new moved into town, which wasn't all that often. (And I actually caught one of them and eventually married him. :P )

[SteppingRazor]

9. Hang in there. Especially for gay teens, dating is tough.

A large percentage of gay teens haven't even come out to themselves yet, much less to anyone else. Gays, of course, amount to no more than a small percentage of the population in the first place. Couple this with the fact that, due to our sadly homophobic cultural mores, many of them don't come to grips with their sexual orientation until a bit later in life, and finding someone to date as a gay teen can be worse than a needle in a haystack. So, as I said, hang in there. It gets easier -- at least, that's what most of my gay friends tell me. :)

[LostinVA]

10. Try seeing if there's any gay youth groups around where you live

Lots of times big cities and Unitarian Churches have them.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

11. Hey, at least you love people.

Brains first, heart second here. Makes for an interesting time. :D

:hi:

[RadiationTherapy]

12. Oh, you don't even KNOW yet...

not that that helps or anything. You shouldn't have chosen 'lesbian', it's harder.

[LostinVA]

13. When did you choose to be straight, homophobe?

And, yes, you can know at her age.

What a disgusting post.

[RadiationTherapy]

29. it was sarcasm nt

[Taverner]

16. Dude you know when you know

I knew alot about my sexuality at 13...so I can only imagine those who have such a strong preference over another can know before they turn 18....

[RadiationTherapy]

30. it was sarcasm

[La Lioness Priyanka]

17. what does "you shouldn't have chosen 'lesbian', it's harder" mean?

[RadiationTherapy]

31. it was sarcasm

[Chovexani]

22. When did you choose to be a homophobe?

Or were you just born that way? :shrug:

[RadiationTherapy]

32. it was sarcasm

[DarkTirade]

23. I sincerely hope that's just missing a sarcasm tag.

[RadiationTherapy]

28. it sincerely is. I didn't think anyone could think I was serious.

sorry for the false alarm.

[DarkTirade]

39. Unfortunately with a belief like that that's held by many

you have to make sure people know it's sarcasm when you say it.

[RadiationTherapy]

48. Hm. I must live in a pretty liberal place, because the concept of 'choosing'

is just so laughable; I never considered being take seriously.

[DarkTirade]

50. Unfortunately in many places it isn't considered ridiculous.

And those who have reason to be the most sensitive about that kind of thinking are the same ones who are the most affected by it.

[RadiationTherapy]

54. Yeah. I really do recognize the magnitude of this issue, I just didn't use a sarc tag.

I actually think it is hideous (the sarc tag)

[DarkTirade]

55. It is, but that's to make sure it stands out when necessary.

:) On forums that don't have a sarcasm tag I'll just write /sarcasm at the end of my post.

[Taverner]

14. Try any internet dating sites?

Seriously - something about focusing the pool...

In any case, I wish you luck :hug:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

18. she is very young.

[Taverner]

20. Yeah but I would think she knows her sexuality by 16

I mean, who would come out and say they're a Lesbian when they aren't sure? Facing all the BS that goes along with that...

[La Lioness Priyanka]

21. i meant too young for dating sites :) not to know her sexual orientation

sorry for the confusion

[Taverner]

27. Oh - well that's very different

Never mind..

[La Lioness Priyanka]

19. sorry it sucks. if it makes you feel any better this wont always happen

it will get better. i hated dating around 15-19. it got much better later.

[Chovexani]

24. The trick is to find the other socially awkward lesbians

No, really. :) One of the best ways to get over social awkwardness is to hook up with people who share your interests and hobbies. HS was absolute hell for me but the one bright spot was Drama Club. That was where I found the few other goth kids in my school and it was like a whole new world opened up. Of course being goths like none of us were straight. :P

I know how bad it sucks...but it does get better. You just gotta hang in there. :hug:

[DarkTirade]

26. For me it was chorus.

Everyone I dated up until the very last one in high school I met in chorus.

The last one was after I finally had a circle of geek friends. :P

[Fleshdancer]

25. there's nothing fun about your age

I'm so glad I'm not a teenager anymore. It will get easier. :hug:

[RadiationTherapy]

33. My earlier post about your "choice" was sarcasm

I apologize that it was undetected without the tag. I thought it was hilarious.

Anyhow, if I may project, maintain your dignity at all costs. I hate to think of how many different ways I gave my dignity away when I was young and in love so often.

[Perry Logan]

34. Some words of comfort from The Supremes...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sS_rXpt1JpI

[TZ]

35. Well I can identify

As a somewhat socially awkward straight middle aged adult.
Everyone I'm attracted to are either A)married B)divorced with children (I'm not sure I want children for myself, let alone other people's children) C) Gay. D) emotionally unavailable "lets be friends"!

Oh yeah, and there's one more thing that as a 38 yr old seems to hurt me..Put it this way..If there truly were unicorns, they would LOVE me...*sigh*

[HughBeaumont]

36. Man, when you have trouble finding a girlfriend in Toronto . . .

. . you know things are bad.

Do you like concerts? You could go the All Over Me route and go to a concert that has lesbian bands and/or bands with lesbian members. They might not be as few and far between as all that, and if there's anyplace which contains the intro- AND extro-verted under one roof, it's a concert.

Or, see if there are any G/L/T youth groups near you, or in Toronto's suburbs.

I wish you luck. My SIL was in the same place you were about 9 years ago. She's been happily married for 8 years.

[lightningandsnow]

42. dupe, sorry

[lightningandsnow]

43. All Over Me is like my favorite movie, ever.

and I really should go to more concerts.

[zanne]

37. As a teen, you're supposed to be "angsty".

That's part of being a teenager.

[Iggo]

45. Hear! Hear!

Or is it "Here! Here!"? I've never thought about that before.

But what I mean to say is that I agree wholeheartedly. You're a teenager. Be a teenager. Sorry about the downswing in your love life. I hope things are looking up real soon. Yay!

[Tyler Durden]

38. OOPS! Missed the "lesbian" part when I suggested my Asperger's Son.

Plus, at 16 you're too young for him at 22.

But he's a good talker/listener if you ever need an ear.

[MissMillie]

40. Sweetie, you have years and years to worry about your love life

for now, just try to have some fun, eh? Go to the movies, join a volleyball league, learn to play the harmonica.

Jeez....

[DarkTirade]

41. ... I'm 26 and I still haven't learned to play harmonica.

What the hell have I been doing with my life? :cry:

[Beer Snob-50]

44. the high school my kids go to

has a club for gay's and those that support them. does your school have something like that?

[lightningandsnow]

49. Yeah, I'm the president. :-)

(and it's full of straight people, gay guys, and people who aren't single.)

[Beer Snob-50]

51. (and it's full of straight people, gay guys, and people who aren't single.)

IT WAS A THOUGHT!!:D

[DarkTirade]

52. Sounds like the GLBT Alliance at my school...

pretty much all girls. Only one other guy, and he's not really my type. :P Same with the two girls who aren't 100% lesbian... just not my type. C'est la guerre.

[suninvited]

46. Your profile says Toronto

I found this online: a teen group in West Toronto that you might consider checking into

http://gaywest.905host.net/files/teens.php

[IronLionZion]

47. Sure it's awkward now, but it's get's better later when you're older

and then you can better appreciate it then too. So, you have good things to look forward too. Hang in there. :grouphug:

[BreweryYardRat]

53. Similar sitch here.

Bi male, probably more socially awkward than you are. Preferring intelligent partners is damned difficult.

Everyone I'm interested in has either: already been snapped up, isn't interested in me sexually, or is hellaciously busy for some reason or other.

There really should be a "dating for geeks" club.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

56. Just enjoy life

Don't worry, it will come to you.

[JoePhilly]

57. We've all been there ... regardless of orientation.

I'm a straight guy ... and as a teen ... every girl I liked was either (b) taken or (c)unavailable ... and I think some of those may have been (a) gay and just given me answers B and C to be nice to me (and avoid a scooby-do moment).

As a teen, your pool of prospects is actually pretty narrow. It may seem large, but its not. Don't get discouraged. The poll will widen.

Also, people who are comfortable and confident with themselves attract others, discouraged people tend to put up barriers that they are unaware of, but which others sense.

You may want to spend some time focusing on YOU, and other interests, and not worry so much on "love life" ... strengthen the other aspects that make you - YOU ... and in a few months, you will probably need a stick to beat off those who would like to enter your world. You may not need to go looking for treasure, perhaps you are the treasure that needs to be found.

This is also why those who already have a love life seem to get asked out and hit on more ... their confidence in themselves is UP, and that is attractive.

So, just some ideas ... Good luck.