Corrupt a Wish Foundation (game--let's play)

[NMDemDist2]

This is a simple little mindless game to play, it's intended to be good clean fun (or as clean as the Lounge can get)

Example:

Person 1: "I wish I could be in two places at once"

Person 2: "Granted, but those places are the North and South Pole"

Person 2: "I wish I could see into the future."

Person 3: "Granted, but the future you see is 1/1000th of a second from now."

Person 3: "I wish I could sing."

Get the idea? Please remember these simple rules so the thread will stay coherent. If there are multiple wishes, just pick the one you want to grant.

1)be sure to quote the wish you are answering and start with "Granted"

2)make your own wish and start it with "I wish....."

shall we try it? I'll start...

I wish I had a garden tractor.

[fizzgig]

1. 'i wish i had a garden tractor'

granted, your tractor is larger than your garden

me: i wish i had someone to cook for me

[NMDemDist2]

2. Granted

but they always mix up the salt and the sugar.

I wish I had a million dollars....

[fizzgig]

4. granted

but you have to fight a pack of rabid wolverines to get it

i wish i had unlimited wishes

[NMDemDist2]

9. Granted

but they all have to be the same one wish

I wish my dogs didn't shed

[fizzgig]

18. granted

but then you'd have to wear them as capes year round

i wish i had a new car

[NMDemDist2]

35. Granted

but it's a Yugo

:rofl:

I wish the wind would ease up around here.

[fizzgig]

39. granted

but then you'd suffer from horrible gas cramps

i wish i would never grow hairs on my legs again

[NMDemDist2]

41. granted

but then they all sprout out of your ears and nostrils

:evilgrin:

I wish I'd found this game a year ago

[fizzgig]

44. granted

but then it never would have been invented

i wish i had a prehensile tail

[sakabatou]

48. Granted

It's 1mm long.

I wish I could bend gravity (space-time).

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

46. Granted

You now relive the same year over and over again. And remember, it's a Bush administration year.

I wish Lieberman hadn't been elected to the Senate.

[sakabatou]

51. Granted.

He's been elected president of the US in 2008.

I wish I could make gold and other precious metals out of thin air.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

60. Granted

At your first attempt, you turn the entire Earth's atmosphere into platinum, killing all life.

I wish I could foresee next week's lottery numbers.

[sakabatou]

62. Granted

You still loose when forget to turn it in.

I wish my grandfather was still alive.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

65. Granted

Two words: Pet Sematary.

I wish Rio wins the bid for the 2016 Summer Olympics.

[NMDemDist2]

69. Granted

but you'll have nowhere to park

I wish this "Happy Feet" movie wasn't so stupid

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

72. Granted

It's now a artsy intellectual movie, and all children in the world HATE you for that.

I wish DU's advanced search went further back than 2005. (I want to find the previous incarnation of this game, dammit!)

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

5. Granted

But the current exchange rate makes that worth €43.19.

I wish some Brazilian would win the Formula One World Championship.

[EstimatedProphet]

13. Granted

Donald Rumsfeld is reading the president his daily reading...

I bet you saw that one coming.

I wish I had a new car.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

22. Granted

It's a Trabant.

I wish the Brazilian joke was erased from humankind's collective consciousness.

[EstimatedProphet]

Granted!

Now it will be new EVERY TIME IT'S TOLD!

I wish I had a vacation

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

32. Granted. You're unemployed.

I wish my boss took me to the trade show that's going to happen in Germany next month.

[sakabatou]

56. Granted

Your job has been shipped overseas.

I want to go to Georgia, US in July of this year.

[EstimatedProphet]

64. Granted - your boss trades you while you're there

I wish I had a cat.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

67. Granted

It's a tiger, and it goes Roy on you.

I wish cockroaches were extinct.

[EstimatedProphet]

74. Granted - it's now several million years in the future after a nuclear war

I wish I were back in college.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

76. Granted

It's a men-only institution in the middle of Uzbekistan.

I wish I had unlimited credit at amazon.com.

[EstimatedProphet]

81. Granted - your account gets hacked for $435,024 for 100,000 Hannah Montana CDs

I wish i had my own website.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

84. Granted

It's www.godhatesfags.com

I wish I received no spam.

[sakabatou]

87. Granted

You receive the ingredients that make-up spam instead in one big mush. Pre-digested.

I wish FR didn't exist.

[EstimatedProphet]

92. Granted - freepers come here now

I wish I had a pony

[sakabatou]

95. The pony bites and sets you back several million

I wish to never be in debt (financially speaking in the long run).

[NMDemDist2]

14. Granted

but it's Charro with Tourette's syndrome

I wish I was a published author

[fizzgig]

79. granted

but it would only be in the ny post

i wish i could travel through time

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

6. Granted, but they're in pennies.

I wish I had Penelope Cruz' body.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

8. Granted. The police is knocking at your door right now.

I wish the third season of Heroes would start next week.

[Dr. Strange]

104. Granted, but it now stars Ted McGinley and Gary Coleman.

I wish the Colorado Avalanche were doing better this season.

[flvegan]

7. Granted, but

you had to cut your head off and sell it to get the cash.

I wish I had x-ray vision.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

12. Granted,

but now you can see through Barbara Bush's clothes.

[Dr. Strange]

3. Granted, but their cookbook is called "To Serve Man."

I wish we had an official Lounge song.

Edit to add: I also wish I was faster than AZDemDist6!

[TZ]

10. Granted but you need an stereo that goes to 11 to hear it...

Not too many of those.

I wish I had the ability to paint.

[Dr. Strange]

16. Heh, granted, but your canvas is Ron Jeremy.

I wish I was an artist.

(Your turn!)

[TZ]

30. Granted...

But you have to paint like this guy:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7499651

I wish I could travel to someplace warm and tropical

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

40. Granted.

You have just landed in a paramilitary-controlled area in Colombia, wearing a T-shirt saying "VIVA LAS FARC!"

I wish there was cheap, fast broadband where I live.

[TZ]

42. Granted

But they only thing you can download is Faux News sites....

I wish that I could meet a nice single man my age...

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

49. Granted

It's your long-lost twin brother.

I wish I hadn't so much difficulty in waking up early.

[fizzgig]

94. granted

but you'd be a zombie

i wish i lived down in fraggle rock

[KitchenWitch]

17. Granted but you have to paint using a baby's toothbrush

I wish I was not so damned hungry.

[NMDemDist2]

45. granted

but it's cuz you lost your sense of smell

I wish my cat didn't get it's ass kicked all the time.

[KitchenWitch]

53. granted but your cats claws grow one inch every hour

I wish my laundry would do itself.

[NMDemDist2]

68. granted

but they'd put starch in your underwear

I wish we'd win the Lottery tomorrow

[KitchenWitch]

71. Granted but you share the winnings will 500,000 other people.

I wish the wrinkles on my forehead were gone.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

75. Granted

You now have no forehead.

I wish there were round-the-clock good restaurants in my area.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

19. Granted. You're Isaac Mendez, and Sylar is coming to kill you right now.

(I just watched all episodes of Heroes in one week. Sorry.)

I wish my clothes ironed themselves.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

21. Granted, but

your clothes iron themselves with you in them.

[EstimatedProphet]

23. Granted - you get third degree burns when your clothes iron themselves while you wear them

I wish I had a new monitor

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

27. Granted, but

your new monitor is a huge lizard.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

28. Granted

Now a hall monitor watches your every step.

I wish I had the biggest capacity iPod on the market.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

33. Granted, but

it has been pre-loaded with the collected works of Lawrence Welk and all of the movies ever made by Adam Sandler.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

11. First one granted. It's "Let the Eagle Soar" by John Ashcroft.

Second: granted. That makes you really unpopular with women.

I wish I hadn't lost my digital camera.

[NMDemDist2]

26. Granted

but it makes everyone in your pictures look like John or Cindy McCain

I wish I had a bigger kitchen

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

38. Granted

You are a cook in the Titanic.

I wish they made a Justice League live-action movie.

[Jamastiene]

131. Granted

but all your appliances are also bigger too, so it doesn't seem bigger.

(Sounds like my luck)

I wish I was great with women and could get any woman I want to be my girlfriend. (this one should be easy, right?)

[hippywife]

141. Granted.

But she wants 24 children in the next 10 years.

[KitchenWitch]

15. Granted but it is "Afternoon Delight"

I wish I had someone to come in and clean my house and do my yardwork.

[NMDemDist2]

20. Granted

but they are Jehovah's Witnesses

I wish GDP would all get along

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

25. Granted

They all endorse McCain now.

I wish Brazil had the largest GDP per capita in the world.

[fizzgig]

24. granted

but it would be this

eta: i wish i could fly

[Dr. Strange]

29. I wish I hadn't clicked on that.

:rofl:

[NMDemDist2]

31. I know, that was mean!!

:rofl:

[fizzgig]

34. granted

but


i wish i was even more awesome :P

[NMDemDist2]

43. granted

but everyone would abandon you out of jealousy

:hug:

I wish more people would flirt with me in the Lounge

[TZ]

50. granted

but you have to post pictures of yourself doing nekkid yoga to get it....

I wish I could deal with stress better.

[NMDemDist2]

59. granted

but you have to move to a Mongolian Nunnery to learn how

I wish nekkid pictures of me wouldn't be gross :evilgrin:

[TZ]

36. I been waiting to use this:!!

Welcome RR anonymous!

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

37. Granted

You have forgotten everything that happened after your 3rd birthday.

I wish Rio wasn't so hot in the summer.

[Zornhau]

112. Granted

It's now underwater

I wish I had a job I liked more

[NMDemDist2]

47. I wish for peace on earth, goodwill towards men. n/t

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

52. Granted

But women aren't included, and they're out for blood. Yours.

I wish the Star Wars prequel trilogy hadn't sucked.

[NMDemDist2]

54. Granted

but they won't come out until 2031

I wish my brownies would cool off faster so I could eat one.

[Dr. Strange]

55. Granted, but now it's called "Lord of the Rings"

I wish I had clean underwear.

[sakabatou]

57. Granted

They chafe and give you hives.

I want to live debt free.

[TZ]

58. granted

but there is an armadillo in them....

I wish I wasn't so cold

[Dr. Strange]

61. Granted, but now you're an armadillo...

living in my trousers.

I wish temeah was here to take part in this.

[TZ]

77. granted

but his nipple radar is malfunctioning:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7499901
(he did say he would be around)

I wish I had some liguid latex....

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

63. Granted

You spontaneously combust.

I wish I knew everything about Java programming.

[TZ]

66. granted

But you get hired by Ted Stevens....

I wish I knew how to play the drums.....(a little backwards I know)

[WritingIsMyReligion]

70. granted

But the drums are muffled so they don't make any sound.

I wish I had my own car.

[fizzgig]

73. granted

but it would be


i wish i could sing

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

80. Granted

You're Britney Spears.

I wish I lost 40 pounds.

[fizzgig]

82. granted

but you have no limbs

i wish my boss wasn't a giant bag of douche

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

85. Granted

Now he's a mid-sized bag of douche, which gives him more mobility.

I wish the train went to my work's doorstep, instead of me having to take the subway in addition to it.

[Zornhau]

117. Granted

The train then continues on through your desk

I wish I had more time in the day

[Generic Brad]

135. Granted

You now have insomnia.

I wish the winter was over.

[Zornhau]

137. Granted

It's now fall

I wish I had an ice cream sundae...

[Danger Mouse]

78. i wish i had a pair of rocket pants, just like Robbie Rocketpants.

[fizzgig]

83. granted

but they'd blow off your genitals

i wish i could blow up people by looking at them

[Danger Mouse]

86. granted

but the explosion would cause you to be covered in a spray of messy remains everytime.

i wish i were the king of siam.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

88. Granted

But now you're bald like Yul Brinner.

I wish I could play this forever, but really, I gotta go for the night. See ya.

[Bucky]

89. Granted

but the thread's being moved to GD:P and everyone there now thinks you're a DINO

I wish I had a 30 hour day to get all my work done in

[fizzgig]

101. granted

but you have 36 hours of work

i wish i had something good to eat right now

[Danger Mouse]

121. granted

but you will gain 100 pounds after eating it. :hide:

i wish i didn't need glasses.

[fizzgig]

125. granted

but you would see my fat ass in bed :P

i wish i didn't have to work on my day off

[Danger Mouse]

126. granted

but a crazed samurai would rampage through downtown fort collins, causing you to miss out on the scoop of the century.

i wish my job paid more.

[fizzgig]

127. granted

but every day would be muthafucking kids >_< times infinity

i wish i'd remembered to pick up some conversation hearts

[Danger Mouse]

128. granted

but they all say 'i <3 ass sex'

i wish i were motivated to clean my room.

[fizzgig]

129. granted

but you'd be eaten by the gremlins under the bed

i wishi had more egg rolls

[Danger Mouse]

130. granted

but they are filled with cockroaches.

i wish i had fashionable clothes.

[fizzgig]

132. granted

but the clothes were fashionable in the 70s

i has no more wishes right now

[fizzgig]

90. granted

but you would have no wives

i wish i had more beer

[Danger Mouse]

93. granted

but it's all bud lite.

i wish i was the best musician of all time.

[fizzgig]

96. granted

you're kenny g

i wish i had a pet fox

[Danger Mouse]

97. granted

he has rabies and hates you.

i wish i were Barack Obama.

[fizzgig]

98. granted

now you're a xerox

i wish i had an nes

[Danger Mouse]

100. granted

but your only game is Bad Street Brawler:
http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/bad-street-brawler.php
Have fun fondling midgets!

I wish I had the ability to heal people by laying my hands on them.

[fizzgig]

103. granted

but you get whatever they have

i wish my hair were nicer

[Danger Mouse]

105. granted

but now you have no teeth.

i wish i could shoot laser blasts from my mouth.

[fizzgig]

107. granted

now you have no teeth :P

i wish i could decide what to have for dinner

[Danger Mouse]

109. granted

you're having haggis, followed by chilled monkey brains.

i wish everybody loved me.

[fizzgig]

114. granted

but you have horrible halitosis and they won't get near you

i wish i was in europe right now

[Danger Mouse]

118. granted

but you are now the most obnoxiously ugly american to ever grace the planet.

i wish our precious kitten lucky were still alive.

[fizzgig]

122. granted

but he's now a flesh eating zombie

i wish my food would get here

[Danger Mouse]

123. granted

but the deliveryman is fred phelps and the entire westboro baptist church.

i wish madeline the poodle didn't stink so damn bad.

[fizzgig]

140. granted

but then you'd smell like madeline

i wish i didn't have to work today

[DS1]

91. I wish I could make 400,000 a year programming stupid web games

[Danger Mouse]

99. granted

but you will never, ever, ever get laid

i wish George W. Bush would be impeached.

[NMDemDist2]

102. i wish George W. Bush would be impeached. Granted

but now Cheney is president

I wish I was 20 pounds thinner

[Danger Mouse]

106. I wish I was 20 pounds thinner. granted

but your IQ drops by 50.

i wish i could eat sushi every day.

[NMDemDist2]

108. i wish i could eat sushi every day. Granted

but you always have 20 cats underfoot

I wish there was something on TV worth watching on Friday nights

[Danger Mouse]

113. I wish there was something on tv worth watching on Friday Nights. granted.

but you have no television.

i wish i had a chocolate labrador retriever.

[Zornhau]

124. Granted

but the chocolate melts in the sun

I wish I was in Germany already

[TexasBushwhacker]

110. Granted

and now cats follow you EVERYWHERE. (Ha AZDem! Great minds think alike, and so do ours!)

I wish I could win the lottery and become a professional philanthropist.

[Danger Mouse]

115. granted

but you live in a cardboard box.

i wish i had a space rocket.

[Name removed]

111. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Danger Mouse]

116. GOOD GOD MAN!!!

:puke: :rofl:

[DS1]

119. I must, and will confess

I riffed off Bill Hicks (because I'd never steal his work without crediting him) and his routine about Rush Limbaugh

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6F7Q7BkAbCk

[fizzgig]

120. end thread

you win

:rofl:

[NMDemDist2]

133. now see what you've done!!

:spank:

[fizzgig]

134. i didn't do it!

it was DS1...my brain is still bleeding from the horrible, vile, more-painful-than-1000-deaths image he left there


:cry:

[NMDemDist2]

136. you have to start a new question subthread then

so we can wash that vile image

and he didn't even ask another question!!!

:argh:

[NMDemDist2]

138. I wish someone would come over and mow my mustard weeds. n/t

[Dr. Strange]

139. Granted, but he'll only do it if you dress up as Burger King and give him a massage.

I wish I had a bag of peanuts.