"Here's a picture of me when I was younger." "All pictures of you are from when you were younger".

[Rabrrrrrr]

Mitch Hedberg.

:rofl:

[KitchenWitch]

1. It's later than it's ever been.

:rofl:

[Forkboy]

2. Heh

"If you see me with nine apples fuckin' bag 'em up!"

He was awesome.

[Rabrrrrrr]

3. I always order the Club sandwich, even though I'm not a member.

[Richardo]

4. "Rice is great for when you're hungry and you want 2,000 of something."

:D

[Starbucks Anarchist]

5. I'm sick of chasing my dreams.

I'm just gonna ask them where they're going and hook up with them later. :rofl:

[redwitch]

6. I play sports -- no I don't, what the fuck?

I was walking down the street with my friend and he said, "I hear music", as if there is any other way you can take it in. You're not special, that's how I receive it too. I tried to taste it but it did not work.


I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said,"Forget everything you know about slipcovers." So I did. And it was a load off my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn't know what the hell they were.


Mitch! A Strange and wonderful man.

[abq e streeter]

7. "What time is it?" " You mean right now?"

the great Zen master Yogi Berra

[BrotherBuzz]

9. More sage advice from the master..."The future ain't what it used to be"

"You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going, because you might not get there."

[bif]

8. My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana,

I said "No, but I want a regular banana later, so, yeah."

[lildreamer316]

10. I saw a wino eating grapes.

I said. "Hey, man..you gotta wait!"

[Kajsa]

11. " I put carwax on my cold sore"

" I don't know if it helped"
" but it did make it more shiny and noticeable"


:rofl:

[Rabrrrrrr]

12. I think it's carmex he's talking about.

That is a funny bit, though!

:rofl:

[Kajsa]

15. Argh! Rabrrr!

My hearing is shot to hell!

:rofl: Thanks for the correction.

;) :hi:

[Generic Brad]

13. I wanna hang a map of the world in my house

Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down.

:wtf:

[GreenPartyVoter]

14. I miss that dude. He sure was funny!