SallyMander
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Wed Mar-05-08 09:51 PM
Original message |
I found Jesus at the bar tonight |
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He was drinking a PBR...
No, but seriously, some random guy cruised through the bar tonight with a laptop on his shoulder. On the screen was a huge close-up of Jesus on the cross. He made a silent lap through the bar, then left.
*scratches head*
Not really sure what to make of that one!
Anyway, hope you're all having a less perplexing night! :D
:hi:
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IzaSparrow
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Wed Mar-05-08 09:52 PM
Response to Original message |
1. what's up with the white guy... |
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asleep on the wood?
WAKE UP! we gotz biznus to take care of.
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SallyMander
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Wed Mar-05-08 09:58 PM
Response to Reply #1 |
2. One too many PBRs, maybe? |
IzaSparrow
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Wed Mar-05-08 10:02 PM
Response to Reply #2 |
5. no wonder his blood turned into wine...nt |
madeline_con
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Wed Mar-05-08 11:37 PM
Response to Reply #5 |
30. It was water, not blood. |
IzaSparrow
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Fri Mar-07-08 04:03 PM
Response to Reply #30 |
67. This is my blood, shed for you...hmm |
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oh well, i hate mass anyway.
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DarkTirade
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Wed Mar-05-08 09:59 PM
Response to Reply #1 |
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that every depiction of Jesus shows him as a scrawny white guy.
I mean... the guy was not only from the middle east, I.E., not white, but he was a carpenter. Before they had power tools. Spending all his time chopping up wood with nothing but ancient axes, adzes, chisels and saws. The guy could probably bench press me with one hand.
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IzaSparrow
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Wed Mar-05-08 10:01 PM
Response to Reply #3 |
4. No shit....I'll bet he looked like flvegan... |
DarkTirade
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Wed Mar-05-08 10:05 PM
Response to Reply #4 |
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And with long flowing hippie-hair. And a beard. Because he was a jew in a time when they followed those little rules in Leviticus, like not cutting their hair or beard.
Y'know, the rules right next to the 'thou shalt not lie with mankind as you lie with womankind' bit that those clean-cut and clean-shaven fundies always quote.
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IzaSparrow
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Wed Mar-05-08 10:19 PM
Response to Reply #7 |
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:rofl: reminds me of my youth
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madeline_con
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Wed Mar-05-08 11:39 PM
Response to Reply #3 |
31. The Gnostic scriptures say he made whatever Joseph |
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Edited on Wed Mar-05-08 11:39 PM by madeline_con
wanted just sort of happen when they worked together. :shrug:
edited to add: It didn't say he was a scrawny white guy, though.
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DarkTirade
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Wed Mar-05-08 11:43 PM
Response to Reply #31 |
34. Then maybe he had a hugely mutated brain |
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and he did it all with telekinesis.
That's my theory at least. Telekinesis and telepathy could explain getting people drunk at a party when they're out of wine, and walking on water and all that crap. Oh, and 'driving the demons' out of that crazy 'We are legion' guy coulda been done with telepathy too.
Maybe mutant healing powers for the rising-from-the-grave schtick.
And he could cause other people to regenerate, hence the healing the sick and the Lazarus thing.
Yeah, I think I like that theory. Hugely mutated brain Jesus is so much cooler than laid-back hippie Jesus.
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madeline_con
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Thu Mar-06-08 12:09 AM
Response to Reply #34 |
38. Laid back hippie with mutated brain? n/t |
DS1
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Wed Mar-05-08 10:03 PM
Response to Original message |
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he could have hooked you all up with some wine
jeez!
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SallyMander
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Wed Mar-05-08 10:11 PM
Response to Reply #6 |
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I could've gone for a nice shiraz...
:rofl:
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DarkTirade
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Wed Mar-05-08 10:22 PM
Response to Reply #6 |
19. Be careful what you wish for. |
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He can turn water into wine... and the human body is made of mostly water.
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DS1
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Wed Mar-05-08 10:23 PM
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20. well, it'll be a happy last 4 seconds of my life |
DarkTirade
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Wed Mar-05-08 11:11 PM
Response to Reply #20 |
23. Not if he turns it into boxed wine. |
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Edited on Wed Mar-05-08 11:11 PM by DarkTirade
Just sayin'. :P
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lizziegrace
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Wed Mar-05-08 10:08 PM
Response to Original message |
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and confusing...
Was this at your favorite bar?? ;)
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SallyMander
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Wed Mar-05-08 10:12 PM
Response to Reply #8 |
10. Is there another bar in Columbus? |
Whoa_Nelly
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Wed Mar-05-08 10:14 PM
Response to Original message |
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Ain't technology wunnerful? :rofl:
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SallyMander
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Wed Mar-05-08 10:15 PM
Response to Reply #11 |
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:spray:
It's like when he miraculously appears on toast... only not quite. :rofl:
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Whoa_Nelly
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Wed Mar-05-08 10:17 PM
Response to Reply #12 |
13. If you see him again ask him what his resolution is? |
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And just how many pixels does it take to make a graphic Jesus?
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SallyMander
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Wed Mar-05-08 10:18 PM
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14. I really think that anything less than 1680x1050 would be blasphemous |
madeline_con
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Wed Mar-05-08 11:41 PM
Response to Reply #14 |
Inchworm
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Wed Mar-05-08 10:19 PM
Response to Original message |
16. Sorry- was prolly just me |
SallyMander
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Wed Mar-05-08 10:20 PM
Response to Reply #16 |
17. You're the laptop Jesus guy??? |
Inchworm
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Wed Mar-05-08 10:21 PM
Response to Reply #17 |
18. No- but I've turned the other cheek recently |
Gonzo Gardener
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Wed Mar-05-08 10:47 PM
Response to Original message |
21. I saw Santa on a Hog! |
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He's one of my neighbors, has a long curly white beard, drives a Harley Davidson, drinks lots of beer... probably PBR tall boys, all his reindeer are stuffed heads hanging on his living room wall, and Mrs. Claus left years ago.
My night goes well! After a double session of Karate lessons I managed to make an impromptu *girlfriends only* late dinner date. It was Dos por Uno margarita night at the local Mexican restaurant!!!
I'm tipsy not perplexed! :silly:
:hug:
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SallyMander
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Thu Mar-06-08 06:33 PM
Response to Reply #21 |
39. OMG! You are hilarious... |
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Seriously, when are we going to meet up for a margarita??? :D
:hug:
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Sugar Smack
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Wed Mar-05-08 10:51 PM
Response to Original message |
22. Yeah, but was it Karaoke Nite? |
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And if so, was "God Bless the USA" in the lineup? :rofl:
Oh, wait. I just realized I'm going straight to hell for that.
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SallyMander
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Thu Mar-06-08 06:34 PM
Response to Reply #22 |
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:spray:
Here's to all the laughing we're going to do down there with our tushies on fire! :toast:
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madrchsod
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Wed Mar-05-08 11:13 PM
Response to Original message |
24. this guy met him in a bar |
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrOn6Am_opkYouTube - Jim Lauderdale "I met Jesus In A Bar"
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SallyMander
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Thu Mar-06-08 06:35 PM
Response to Reply #24 |
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That is quite an ensemble he's got going! :rofl:
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Va Lefty
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Wed Mar-05-08 11:14 PM
Response to Original message |
25. If God is my Co-Pilot, is Jesus my designated driver? |
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WWJD (What Would Jesus Drink) :shrug:
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SallyMander
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Thu Mar-06-08 06:36 PM
Response to Reply #25 |
42. He was a carpenter, so i've gotta think he'd enjoy a cold beer |
JVS
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Wed Mar-05-08 11:17 PM
Response to Original message |
26. What's so strange about that? |
SallyMander
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Thu Mar-06-08 06:36 PM
Response to Reply #26 |
Yavin4
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Wed Mar-05-08 11:20 PM
Response to Original message |
27. The Real Question Is Was The Laptop Mac Notebook? |
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Because if it wasn't, that aint Jesus because Macs are made by God. Just ask any Apple user.
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SallyMander
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Thu Mar-06-08 06:37 PM
Response to Reply #27 |
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I think it was a PC, but i didn't get a good look... maybe it wasn't Jesus after all! :shrug:
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deucemagnet
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Wed Mar-05-08 11:32 PM
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28. Wow. You never know where that guy is going to show up. |
SallyMander
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Thu Mar-06-08 06:37 PM
Response to Reply #28 |
FloridaJudy
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Wed Mar-05-08 11:35 PM
Response to Original message |
29. I don't care if it rains or freezes |
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'Slong as I got my lap-top Jesus Hangin' on my color monitor There's bugs with Mac, and with PC But the Messiah's virus free Hangin' on my color monitor.
Lap top Jesus! Lap top Jesus! Hangin' on my color monitor
Don't need Linux Don't need Vista Cuz I got my "Screen Savior" Hangin' on my color monitor...
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SallyMander
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Thu Mar-06-08 06:38 PM
Response to Reply #29 |
46. Did you make that up??? |
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I am laughing my butt off... that's awesome! :rofl:
:yourock:
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FloridaJudy
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Thu Mar-06-08 09:10 PM
Response to Reply #46 |
66. Yup. Sung to the tune of |
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"Plastic Jesus". There are dozens of verses. Here's a few:
Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes, Long as I have my plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car Through all trials and tribulations, We will travel every nation, With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.
{Refrain} Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car Through all trials and tribulations, We will travel every nation, With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.
When I'm in a traffic jam He don't care if I say Damn I can let all sorts of curses roll Plastic Jesus doesn't hear For he has a plastic ear The man who invented plastic saved my soul
Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car Once his robe was snowy white Now it isn't quite so bright Stained by the smoke of my cigar
(I was corrupted by hanging out with former Southern Baptists in college)
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LynneSin
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Wed Mar-05-08 11:42 PM
Response to Original message |
33. Just remember, not everyone who digs Jesus is a raving lunatic right-wing nut job |
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I think the guy is awesome. The way he lived and the lessons he taught are something that jive with the way most progressives/liberals think.
And I drink Tequila myself
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FloridaJudy
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Thu Mar-06-08 12:03 AM
Response to Reply #33 |
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Wander through bars flashing His image at everyone.
I've got nothing against Jesus myself, but some of his followers scare me to death.
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SallyMander
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Thu Mar-06-08 06:39 PM
Response to Reply #33 |
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I wish that more of his followers payed more attention to his teachings... you know, help those less fortunate, yadda yadda. Unfortunately a lot of that gets tossed to the wayside...
:hi:
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Ava
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Wed Mar-05-08 11:44 PM
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35. probably looking for a wireless connection |
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at least that would be my guess :hi:
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SallyMander
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Thu Mar-06-08 06:40 PM
Response to Reply #35 |
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You'd think the Son of God would have wireless anywhere... should be like the ultimate iPhone! :D
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Lethe
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Wed Mar-05-08 11:45 PM
Response to Original message |
36. Jesus is at the bar every night where i go |
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Jesus Martinez......great guy, he is a machinist. I think I owe him a round...
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SallyMander
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Thu Mar-06-08 06:41 PM
Response to Reply #36 |
50. I have a friend named Jesus |
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and when his girlfriend refers to him in an email she'll say "Jesus (the mortal)"
Cracks me up every time! :rofl:
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Parche
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Thu Mar-06-08 06:39 PM
Response to Original message |
47. I saw jesus last night at the bar |
SallyMander
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Thu Mar-06-08 06:41 PM
Response to Reply #47 |
Parche
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Thu Mar-06-08 06:44 PM
Response to Reply #51 |
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me dragging today..................:hangover: :hangover: :hangover:
got home at 2am..........
:hi:
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SallyMander
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Thu Mar-06-08 06:45 PM
Response to Reply #53 |
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and let me know if you'll ever be at CMH :D
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Parche
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Thu Mar-06-08 06:49 PM
Response to Reply #54 |
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i have good friends live in CMH actually Hilliard OH in fact just talked to him a few minutes ago he gets me my cell phone for $10 month unlimited, he works for sprint!!!! :woohoo: :hi:
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SallyMander
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Thu Mar-06-08 06:51 PM
Response to Reply #56 |
57. Whoa, that's a great deal! |
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You should introduce me :D
Actually i'm happy because i just got a good deal from Verizon on a new phone, even though i'd only had my old one for 6 months, so i wasn't really eligible for a deal. But i whined enough and now i have a new phone that i love!
And i sold my old one on craigslist for $90!!!
So i will join you in the :woohoo:
:bounce:
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GoddessOfGuinness
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Thu Mar-06-08 06:44 PM
Response to Original message |
52. If Jesus had really been there... |
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He would have told that guy to sit down, have a brew, and stop acting like a bonehead. :toast:
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SallyMander
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Thu Mar-06-08 06:47 PM
Response to Reply #52 |
55. Jesus would like my favorite bar |
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It's a total lefty scene... tolerance, love thy neighbor, all that jazz. :D
:hug:
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GoddessOfGuinness
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Thu Mar-06-08 07:05 PM
Response to Reply #55 |
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Say...Have you had any word on the zoo gig?
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SallyMander
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Thu Mar-06-08 07:14 PM
Response to Reply #58 |
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Well, i got a phone call a couple weeks ago. The VP said they were running behind in their meetings, etc, and he was going out of town the following week. But then he said they hoped to have a decision by the end of the month (February!). And i haven't heard anything since then. So i'm trying to decide if i should call/email? Or just keep waiting? I know they won't just leave me hanging... that's why Andy (VP) called me a couple weeks ago, he said he didn't want me to think they'd forgotten about me. So maybe i should just be patient. What do you think?
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GoddessOfGuinness
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Thu Mar-06-08 07:17 PM
Response to Reply #61 |
62. If they called a couple of weeks ago, |
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I'd probably wait another week, then give a call. It could be that they've been slowed down by flu season or something. But it can't hurt for them to know you're still interested.
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SallyMander
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Thu Mar-06-08 07:21 PM
Response to Reply #62 |
64. It's so hard to be patient! ;-) |
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I sent them another copy of my resume the week i talked to the VP, because i've submitted three manuscripts to scientific journals since my interview! So i sent it with a little note that i just wanted them to have the most current info, etc. Also attached one of my manuscripts. So if they don't know i'm interested by now, i don't know what to do! :D
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lost-in-nj
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Thu Mar-06-08 07:11 PM
Response to Original message |
59. Is there a country and western song here somewhere?? |
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if so I'd like the lyrics and the youtube link...
'K?
thankz
lost
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SallyMander
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Thu Mar-06-08 07:12 PM
Response to Reply #59 |
JoePhilly
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Thu Mar-06-08 07:20 PM
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63. Maybe Jesus has a MySpace page too |
SallyMander
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Thu Mar-06-08 07:21 PM
Response to Reply #63 |
65. Jesus was on DU for a while -- one of the funniest threads EVAH |
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I wish i had a link to it!
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Sat May 04th 2024, 09:51 PM
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