Some guy just called me a cityslicker!

[Swede]

I wander up front to get some paperwork,and some unhappy customer is razing our receptionist. He looks at me and calls me a cityslicker,that I am screwing him,etc. Thank god I don't deal with the public.

[Westegg]

1. That'un'd be me, Swede...an' I don't care fer yer sass...

...Y'all come waltzin' in here like sum kinda city-- well, now, I don't aim to repurt myself, seein' as repurtition's the death o' creativity an' all-- lemme just say you was lookin' to git good 'afore ya got good, and I didn't take not cotton to it, no sir, no how. Now had ya been a gennelman-like, I'da mighta cut ya some slack, and as fer that....

(Here, the attempt to approximate a country person's linguistic idiosyncrasies utterly fails the author, and so he begs off exhausted, admitting defeat, before reaching the punch line. He offers all apologies to those who have followed him thus far.)

[Swede]

2. I felt like calling him Jethro Bodine or Jed Clampett.

But I left it alone. They had to call the cops to get him to leave.

[Westegg]

4. You did the right thing...

...Let the Pinkertons deal with these Wobblies.

[quip]

3. Was his name "Curly"?

[KansDem]

5. Dagnabbit!!! These whippersnappers can't get away with this!!! (nt)