Precious, little, oh-so-prissy food.

[Redstone]

"Made to Order" on Food Network right now. Indescribably pretty little dishes, each with dots or swirls of some kind of precious little liquid for decoration, the whole dish taking up about one-sixteenth of the plate.

Spare me.

Just gimme a burger, would you?

Redstone

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. What I hate is when they artfully dribble the sauce on the plate

next to or around the food the sauce is supposed to be on, just so you can admire the artful dribble.

[Redstone]

2. EXACTLY what I'm talking about. Put the gravy ON the damn food, would you?

Redstone

[darkstar]

3. Just not one outta a farggin' can

right?
:hi:

[Redstone]

4. Yeah. That thing looked like a slice of canned cranberry sauce, only brown, didn't it?

It even seemed to have the "rings" that you see in the cranberry sauce at the bottom-of-the-can end.

Truly revolting.

Redstone

[Sugar Smack]

5. *sniff* I shan't eat it if it doesn't fit on my fingernail.

Is "Belugan" the singular of "Beluga"? I'll have a caviar egg on a toast point point, please.

;-)

[Redstone]

7. Sugie, you would NOT have believed the prissy descriptions of those dishes. I tried

to pull some of them off the food network website, but couldn't find them. It was to die for (die laughing, that is).

It was like "confit of someobscureingredient with a fennel-blaghered rissole of someotherobscureingredient with a drizzle of Provencale margaba essence tromped by Ligurian virgins topped with essence of truffled blacharacha in a veal rembelblachen reduced with frenchsoundingword oil from the district of Snottayword in the Ibetyouhaven'theardofitancyian region."

Redstone

[Sugar Smack]

8. Lookahere, cousin- you made me spray tea. You are posifreakingtively BRILLIANT.

Look, can you please post that on the next "what's for dinner" thread?????? You are much too good at laying out what you see. :rofl:

"with a fennel-blaghered rissole of someotherobscureingredient"

"margaba essence tromped by Ligurian virgins"

"frenchsoundingword oil from the district of Snottayword"



:rofl: I confess I'm a little in awe of you right now. :wow:

[Redstone]

12. Thanks, Cuz, you made me laugh, too. Glad I could give you a bit of a chuckle, and

I think I WILL go ahead and post that in a "What's for dinner" thread.

But not tonight; I'll save it for when I can get in early on one of those threads.

How's every little thing going for you these days? We need to talk again in another week or two.

Redstone

[Sugar Smack]

13. To both I say, "YEAH!"

Post that thang, and I would dearly love to talk with you and catch up in a week or two. I have your number; it's written in my copy of Stephen King's "Thinner", the book I was reading at the hospital during my appendix thingie. :loveya:

[Redstone]

16. Check your PM tomorrow. I'm making a big push for new business, and will need help.

Redstone

[redwitch]

31. Well done Sir!

LOL!

[Withywindle]

65. OMG hilarious!

It's like a cross between an ohsoponcy yuppie-chow description and Vogon poetry.

[havocmom]

6. LOL Was looking for recipes for what one does with spaetzle just a bit ago

Havocdad bought some in a box at import store in town (he lived in Europe for several years and gets hungry for foods I am not familiar with)

Decided he would be happy if I made chicken or meatballs with some sort of sour cream gravy on this spaetzle stuff.... I shall remember NOT to drizzle a bit of gravy near the food... will POUR IT ON!

Thanks for the insight LOL

[Redstone]

10. Meatballs & spaetzle with sour-cream gravy? I'll be right over. Oh, yes.

Redstone

[TommyO]

33. Spaetzle with swedish meatballs - YUMMY!

German, Swedish, and sour cream! Three of the four essential food groups.

[Ikonoklast]

9. Real Men eat SPAM

Nothing like canned, steam rendered, various and sundry porcine pieces parts and indescribable gelatinous goo, all in one savory tin.

Hack open a can of SPAM with a big knife and eat it with your hands just to watch the "Elf food" people faint.

[Redstone]

11. Knife? Hands? Hell, no, we real men BITE the can open, then bite chunks off

the block o' SPAM.

Redstone

[Ikonoklast]

14. It's been the subject of a nutritional study, and it was found to be

One of the very best things that one could possibly eat.

The can, that is. Very nutritious, lots of minerals, very low fat.




The contents of a can of SPAM, however, can be used as an IED if handled incorrectly, and is not recommended for human consumption, unless you want to substitute the forced eating of SPAM as an interrogation technique instead of waterboarding.

[Redstone]

15. Dammit, this talk has made me hungry. I'm going to go make myself a SPAMwich

right now. Fried SPAM, melted cheddar, tomatoes, and mustard. On rye bread.

Hot damn. Haven't had one of those in a long time.

Redstone

[grasswire]

17. now I'm hungry for spam...

...but I like mine cold and thinly sliced on good nutty wheat bread with butter and iceberg lettuce on one side and yellow mustard on the other side. Mmmmm. No spam in the house, and I can't eat that much bread because it's like 36 grams of carb.

[Kutjara]

18. If you really want to do it right.

Make a little flour and water batter, dip the Spam, fry it up and have some delicious Spam fritters. Shortly before you have a major Spam coronary.

[GoneOffShore]

61. Nahhh, real men eat Scrapple!

Pictures at 11!

[BreweryYardRat]

19. Eesh, those dishes. They're why I refuse to attend fancy restaurants.

I see no reason to waste a lot of money on some dinky-ass concoction which might possibly be a normal-sized meal...for a housecat.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

22. A house cat wouldn't eat it. Too many weird vegetables.

[Starbucks Anarchist]

20. You hate that stuff, too?

I thought I was the only one. :rofl:

[DS1]

21. eh

I can go either way, but do prefer a big bowl of curry or a fish and chips with a giant slab of fish on a bed of fries. nummy

[Gormy Cuss]

23. I like prissy food. It's pretty.

I'm just not willing to pay a lot of money for it.

[Runcible Spoon]

32. eggzactly. food like that is awesome...

when bought FOR you by a relative you see once or twice a year and don't particularly like. Yes I'll have the Alsatian Muscat too, thanks :evilgrin:

[coffeenap]

24. Ah, Redstone, you always make me smile.

:hi:

[Redstone]

25. Long time, no chat! Hope all is well with you these days.

Redstone

[Heidi]

26. This is the difference between the way CMW cooks and the way I cook.

He's the far superior cook: His stuff tastes better, looks gorgeous and more care goes into its preparation.

I am more experimental, better able to whip up something on the spur of the moment, and I cook quickily for a whole bunch of people or a special occasion.

We're both pretty good about cleaning up the kitchen. :hi:

[Redstone]

28. That's why I've gained 30 pounds since meeting Mrs R: She has the unique ability

to make things that NEVER let you go away hungry, and look attractive at the same time.

It's amazing: She can make better Italian food than Italians can, better Mexican food than Mexicans can, and so on.

Redstone

[MrsMatt]

27. I confess, I LOVE precious prissy food.

I enjoy it as an art form. It appeals to my inner snobbish self.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

29. A menu from a little restaurant in my area:

http://www.cornertablerestaurant.com/menu.htm

I've eaten there a couple of times, and the food actually tasted pretty good, but it's expensive, a bit elfin, and there's some of it that I have no idea what it is. And they have that annoying habit of dribbling the sauces artfully instead of just putting them on the damn food.

[Redstone]

30. And God, that's another thing that's really pretentious:

Listing the prices like this:

12

Even worse is when they list the ingredients in words all in a row, like commas cost something, and in all lowercase:

confit du rissole des blanc roti
lardoons beetpeel bark shavings gelee
sel de morton poivre au vin ordinaire
reduced reduction con brio piccante
pain au beurre legume
57

I won't eat at one of those places.

Redstone

[DS1]

41. what's wrong with the price without decimals?

:shrug:

[Redstone]

44. Just because it's pretentious and trendy. Like all-lowercase type is.

Redstone

[DS1]

45. Then you'd hate the place I go to some time

Not as much as I used to, I'm feeling the pinch of everything else costing more

http://www.aquatini.com/aquatini_dinner.php

The only thing missing on the web version is the prices under each option, like 10 or 14

:D

[Redstone]

48. Ah, but at least they use "with," commas, and "and." They gain back points for that.

Redstone

[GoneOffShore]

51. Nice menu

that's some pretty decent food -
Have you tried the Cassoulet?

I'm a great fan of anything with duck confit and pork.

[DS1]

52. No, I haven't

but I know I should

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

50. "lardoons beetpeel bark shavings gelee"!

:rofl: I'll have to ask them to make me some of that.

If you're ever in Minneapolis, I'll take you there, and we can mock the menu. Better yet, we'll stand in the doorway and mock the menu, and then we'll go to this great Chinese place.

To be fair, the waitresses are really nice and not pretentious at all. But OMG, the menu...

[LostinVA]

46. It looks like a great menu to me

:shrug:

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

49. The food itself is quite good. But the menu is so... like Redstone said,

hilariously.

[Runcible Spoon]

55. I see nothing pretentious about that menu

and looking at the ingredients the prices really aren't that bad either :shrug:

It gets bad when they start anthropomorphizing the food and make it seem like the cooking process was some sort of magical alchemical wonder.

[democracyindanger]

34. Here's your burger

[Redstone]

35. Good Lord, no! AAAAGH!!

I meant a burger as God intended it: Beef. Cheese. Onions, tomatoes, lettuce. Condiments. Bread, both on bottom and top.

THAT's not a burger, it's an abomination. Get thee behind me, Asparagus!

Redstone

[democracyindanger]

36. My bad. Here.

[Redstone]

37. Better, but what the hell are those black things? Engine-oil-sludge chips?

...Not that I'd mind a helping of those, as long as they were deep-fried and had lots of salt.

Redstone

[youthere]

58. What the hell is that black goo by the burger?

It looks like something I found on the patio after the dog ate a roof shingle.

[GoneOffShore]

60. Truffles

The non chocolate kind.

Not so good this year. Maybe next.

[SKKY]

38. Asparagus on a Burger?

:wtf: kind of hippy crap is that? I guess sprouts would be, like, $5.00 more.

[Redstone]

39. Yeah, they'd charge that, even though the Asparaburger is probably $95.00.

What with all that Foy Grass stuff in it, and all.

Redstone

[SKKY]

40. Jesus H. Christ in a Chicken Basket...

...is nothing sacred?

[Redstone]

42. Afraid not. I suppose we're just going to have to get used to it.

Redstone

[mondo joe]

43. I like food. I like prissy food, and big burgers and everything in between.

I can't think of a style of food I don't like.

[nam78_two]

53. "I can't think of a style of food I don't like."

Are you sure about that ;)?

http://www.semihomemade.com/



Since you seem to like food, I will assume you watch the Food Network and know what I am talking about :7 ....
Nobody imo is ready for that..errr..style of food. I once saw that woman mix equal parts of butternut squash soup and ketchup, microwave that and call it a hearty winter stew or something :puke:...

[mondo joe]

54. I don't consider "semihomemade" a...style.

:-)

The one thing I really don't like is processed crap, or anything made with it, but I don't consider it a style.

I agree: barf!

[siligut]

64. Sandra Lee had a tough childhood.

I want to like her, but that food is just crap, and then to dress to match your skillet? Save me.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

47. Those little portions are the biggest scams going.

Skip and I keep talking about opening up a restaurant like that, only with regular food. Like say you want spaghetti. You'll get 3 spaghetti noodles, a bit of meat, a small tomato and we'll serve it with a crouton. And then we'll charge 50 bucks for it.
But the appetizers would be normal size.
Duckie

[JI7]

56. how about the lettuce wedge salad

charge 10+ for it.

[NuttyFluffers]

57. the small sizes are so you can have 2 or more entrees without being uncomfortable

because you gotta save room for an appetizer, salad, 2 entrees, dessert, and a glass of alcohol for each. i mean, what's the point of pouring it all on your plate when you have 6 or more courses to sit through? in the end you end up eating just the right amount without getting indigestion, so you can enjoy the rest of the evening!

i mean, why shoot for 1 pile of adequate tastiness, when you can divide that same pile into many little piles of exquisite deliciousness?

but then i guess that's where the american phenomenon of our beloved buffets come into play...

why have 1 pile of adequate tastiness, when you can have 4 piles of marginally palatable fodder?!

mmmm, marginally palatable fodder. :)

[mondo joe]

62. Mmmmm. Small plates are good. Often now when we eat out we make a dinner

out of several apps so we can get more yummy tastes out of one meal.

[RubyDuby in GA]

59. I hear ya. I wanna go with Guy on Diners, Drive-ins and Dives

That looks like some damn good food!

[Manifestor_of_Light]

63. I had a meal like that once. Gave me a bad stomach ache.

And my companion had to get home for a bathroom emergency.

This was served by the students at the Art Institute (the large rip-off proprietary school that advertises heavily all over the country).

They mixed up weird flavors for the helluvit. Like fruit salad with licorice liqueur poured over it (yuck). I had to send the tiny bit of steak back to get it cooked properly. I could drink the iced tea and eat the roll.

Everything else was gawdawful, and I was still hungry. I am not a heavy eater.

It was like Moe at Moe's Bar on the Simpsons says:
"PoMo. (Postmodern). Weird for da sake of weird".

:puke:

[PeaceNikki]

66. To a chef, food presentation is an art.

It's not pretentious or "prissy" for a chef to take great care in his or her work.

And it's a shame if you can't appreciate that.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

67. I'm all in favor of nicely-presented food.

I just wish they wouldn't hide the weensy little entree under a single (tenderly poached in lingonberry puree) mushroom, and that they wouldn't do swirly designs on the plate with the sauces. It just makes a mess.