My ex BIL died on Saturday.....

[malta blue]

J. was older than his wife (my ex's sister) by 15 years.

He suffered a heart attack on Saturday while helping a friend move some firewood, and died instantly.

He and his wife had quit drinking three years ago as she had serious problems with it, and they had recently returned from a skiing trip to Lake Tahoe.

My ex will tell Little MB tonight.

She will be inconsolable.

If you can spare some good ju ju for my little 8 y/o girl who is about to have her heart broken, and for a woman who lost her partner too soon.

Thanks.

~mb

[theredpen]

1. ...

:(

:hug:

[malta blue]

2. Thank you.

[ScreamingMeemie]

3. Oh malta, I am so sorry...

I am so sorry this has happened and that little mb will be heartbroken. There is nothing in the world as devastating as having to deliver those kinds of blows. I will keep you all in my thoughts.

[malta blue]

4. MrsG....you have no idea

how much your post means to me to give us the strength.

Thank you so much for caring about Little MB.

:hug:
~mb

[BarenakedLady]

5. I'm so sorry

:hug:

[malta blue]

7. thanks BNL

J. was a good man.

He dedicated his life after Vietnam to working with animals and was a vet tech at his wife's clinic.

He will be missed.

[skater314159]

10. He will be missed by animals and creatures alike.

:hugs:

(Animals ALWAYS recognise good, kind, loving souls)

[skater314159]

6. I am sooooo sorry for you guys' loss...

:hug:
I will be sure to include all of you in my thoughts, meditations, and prayers over the next weeks.

It's never easy to lose someone... but hopefully time and love will help you guys.

Sending plenty of light and loving vibes your way - and vibes of stregnth and courage to break the news... I've been on both sides of the telling, and it never gets easier. May the words come to you, and may you both support each other in your journey of grief... and remember, we are here for you whenever you need. :grouphug:

Peace and Comfort,
skater pi
:loveya:

[malta blue]

9. thanks skater....

We appreciate your healing thoughts at this very difficult time.

My ex SIL is in complete denial and is refusing to discuss any memorial services, etc.

She just wants to be left alone :cry:

[skater314159]

12. That is sometimes what is needed...

... but you can be someone who helps with the mourning process for her... but denial is one of the stages of grief... and it is often the hardest to deal with, as you can become stuck in it.

Denial is in a way comforting, becuase you don't have to deal with the pain... and at the very beginning, it is protective, in that it saves the soul of those left behind from being overwhelmed by grief.

Introverts really need some time to be alone... and a nice thing you could do for her is to help with funeral arrangements, cooking/preparing meals, just check up on her to let her know you care, and even getting her a nice relaxing bath set (lavender or giner are good for soothing souls) during this period of change.

I know you probably can't take in any infos right now, but two books that are most valuable - and helped me through my own mourning times - are On Death & Dying and Tunnel of Light, both by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. They talk about the stages of grief, give real life stories of people who went through the stages, and gives support for those on the journey of grief.


:grouphug:

[malta blue]

13. Thank you so much for the information

and I will give my ex some of your suggestions. I do not want to upset her by meddling, but my ex (her brother) is a gentle soul and I am sure he will appreciate these suggestions.

Thank you again :hug:

[SPKrazy]

8. good ju ju for your daughter...

:hug: :hug: :hug:

and for your ex's wife too

:hug:

sorry to hear

:hug: for you

[malta blue]

11. Thanks SPK

Little MB has a very gentle soul and will take this very hard.

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

14. awww....

:hug: :hug::hug:

extra extra hugs for her sweet gentle soul

[SPKrazy]

15. maybe we should hook her up with my almost 8 year old

he has a gentle soul too :)

[fight4my3sons]

16. I'm so sorry.

How horrible. :hug: sending all kinds of good ju ju ...

[malta blue]

17. thank you very much...

I am dreading this afternoon... :cry:

[fight4my3sons]

18. I would be too...

extra hugs for your daughter :hug: :hug: :hug: and strength for you. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

[lost-in-nj]

19. I am so sorry MB

:hug: :hug: :hug:

hugs for little mb and the rest of the family....

I hope she will be ok.....
and I hope peace comes to your exsil soon......



lost

[malta blue]

20. Thank you lost.

I am praying for my ex-sil to find peace and comfort right now.

[GreenPartyVoter]

21. Aw, I am so sorry *good vibes going out*

[malta blue]

22. Thank you so very much....

I am sure my ex is on the way to pick Little MB up right now... :cry:

[lost-in-nj]

23. Malta blue....

hon, how is little Malta???


is she ok.....


:hug:


lost

[malta blue]

25. Thanks for asking Lost...

She cried for a good long time, about 10 minutes of big tears, then she suddenly stopped and got up, grabbed some paper and wrote her uncle J. a letter...

She told him how much she wished he would be there to see her get her black belt in November, and that she was going to work even harder so that he would be sure to see her from heaven.

She told him the whole family is sad, but no one is sadder than her.

Lost, my little girl has such a beautiful heart. It amazes me.

She is now asleep....

[lost-in-nj]

29. oh my..

she has me crying.......
even as an adult I have written to many of those letters.....
but I know... I know they were read

her heart is just like her Moms.......



lost

[malta blue]

30. oh hell...now you made me cry....

It's amazing that my little 8 y/o has such a golden soul. I mentioned it to her dad, and he just bawled....

Thanks for the rose lost....:hug::hug:

[halobeam]

31. and now you made me cry....

Children are the most amazing creatures on this planet. Their hearts are so pure.

I'm so sorry for your family's loss. I'm thinking your daughter is very lucky to have you, and vice versa.:hug:

[lightningandsnow]

24. So sorry.

:hug:

[malta blue]

26. Thanks AspieGrrl.

:hug:

[mainegreen]

27. This is terrible. I am sorry,

my heart goes out to you, your family and his poor little girl.

:cry:

[malta blue]

28. thank you...

he had a special place in his heart for my little one, and she had a special place for him...

:cry:

[ThomCat]

32. I'm very sorry.

I hope Little MB will be okay. :hug:

I hope his wife has some people with her and is okay too. :hug: