Kerry Used Clinton's Penis to Have Affair With Monica!

[RaulGroom]

Sources close to the story today confirmed rumors that several media outlets are conducting an investigation into whether Bill Clinton's well-publicized affair with Monica Lewinsky was actually the work of John Kerry. It is alleged that Kerry, using a secret experimental mind-control machineknown as a Kerflubulator, was in the habit of taking control of Clinton's loins and unleashing them on unsuspecting White House interns. More to come.

Rolling my eyes furiously,