Advice for Spitzer: Check in if you use fool proof methods to hire prostitutes and not get caught!

[HamdenRice]

Ok, method number one: Give the prostitute your middle name and last name, but never your first name.

Number two: If you have to give your whore your address for record keeping purposes, change the last two digits of your zip code.

Number three: Even if you give your local hooker all your information, insist on her using a "code name" over the phone, like "client number 11." Law enforcement will never catch on.

Number four: Always go for a hooker who charges at least $100 per hour. The $20 crack whores under the Brooklyn Queens Expressway can't keep their damned mouths shut when they are arrested.


Any other suggestions? Let's start an advice thread for Governor Spitzer!

[flvegan]

1. Never used one, but I think a strict "cash only" policy

for payment would be wise.

[HamdenRice]

2. NO! Then you have no record for deducting it from taxes!

Silly!

[siligut]

3. Too late for Spitzer, but

Marry a woman who knows how to get her freak on and you won’t have to pay for it and you will be safe from the press and stupid, puritan fucking values.

[HamdenRice]

5. OK, I'll buy that!

A wifey who can get her freak on is definitely, as Martha Stewart would say, a good thing!

[siligut]

10. Why did you edit?

And why did you mention she who should not be mentioned in an otherwise good prostitution thread?

[HamdenRice]

12. I didn't want to sound like I was objectifying partners

"A wifey who can get her freak on is a good thing."

vs.

A wifey who can get her freak on is, as Martha would say, a good thing."

Quoting Martha implies having the wife is the subject of the sentence rather than the wife.

[TZ]

4. I'll let Jerry Springer give him some advice in this area

Never pay for a prostitute with a damned PERSONAL CHECK (which Mr. Springer actually did when he was mayor of Cincinnati in the 70's)

[HamdenRice]

6. I apologize

I hope you don't even know why.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

7. remember that these days we only believe in the connection of sexuality and morality

other forms of morality have died

so just keep it in your fucking pants.

[HamdenRice]

9. Right. You can kill 1 million Iraqis and talk to Jesus nt

[WritingIsMyReligion]

8. Use your hand next time.

;)

[LeftyMom]

11. Next time try drugs instead. Then you can just go to rehab when you get caught.

Even if you've created a charity to send drugs to the third world and then taken them yourself, or if you're caught doctor shopping, or using fake prescriptions.

Oh, and you're gonna have to change parties. Republicans get to abuse drugs and hire hookers and stay in office, Democrats notsomuch.