Child abusers should burn in Hell

[populistmom]

Within the past hour, I found out one of the dearest people I know tried to take her life last night. She is kind and caring, has two daughters, too much loss, and way too much pain in her heart stemming from abuse in all forms as a child.

Things are being taken care of as we speak in order to insure her safety, but please keep this wonderful woman in your thoughts and prayers. I don't know if I should say all this here really, but I'm feeling rather helpless in the situation and needed to feel like I'm throwing some positive energy in her direction.

[GOPisEvil]

1. I agree with that sentiment. Pedophiles occupy their own circle of hell.

Best wishes to your friend and her family.

[VelmaD]

2. Hurting someone littler than you...

or that you have authority over is one of those things that makes me insane. It's the sign of the worst kind of cowardice.

[Burma Jones]

3. I think they should burn here

They make me want to take the "Cruel and Unusual Punishment" clause out of the Bill of Rights. They are one of the very few things the crazed Right Wingers and I have in common.

[Goldom]

6. I agree.

I too turn into a crazy RW on this issue... absolutely unforgivable...

[Burma Jones]

7. And the damndest thing is that so many of them look like RWers

[Red State Rebel]

11. Don't drag politics into this ....

My grandfather was a diehard Democrat and he molested me when I was 9. He had raped my Aunt when she was young (she was his stepdaughter). I can only imagine how many other victims he had over the years. He was a much beloved pillar of the community - nobody would have guessed and to this day, my other aunt still doesn't believe me. I swore when he died I would spit on his grave, but when he did, I didn't even go to the funeral - he wasn't worth my spit.

[IronLionZion]

14. That's horrible

I'm sorry to hear that. It's the worst when its from someone you're supposed to trust like a family member.

[Burma Jones]

19. Sorry,

Wasn't meant to be political, but was meant more to point out that looks can be deceiving.

[Loonman]

4. Actually

I'd like to see summary execution of child abusers/pedophiles 3 days after conviction, no appeals.

They think a kid's life is cheap? Give 'em an object lessen.


But that's me.

[Fenris]

12. Not to get off topic, but who's the yummy girl in your sig, Loon?

Sehr schön, was?

[Loonman]

13. Anka from Clan of Xymox

n/t

[madrchsod]

5. you stand by her

side and hold her hand and she`ll know someone cares. she`ll always know that there is someone who will not judge but accept her for who she is. i`ve been there and there is nothing much you can do but just be a friend.

[never cry wolf]

8. AGREED!

My best and closest friend in the whole world was sexually abused by her father when she was 7 and 8 years old. 40 years later the scars are still deep, they will NEVER be gone. I am a pacifist but if this asshole were still alive I'd kill him.

My prayers for you friend!

[1monster]

9. Get her to talk about it, and try to make her understand that it was not

her fault.

Children who have been molested, especially by someone they trust and love or by someone whom they should be able to trust and love, often feel that there is something wrong with them, that they are bad, or the child of monsters. They feel that because of what happened to them that are too corrupted to live.

It is in part anger that should be expressed against their abusers turned in on themselves.

If she can be made to express her anger against her abuser, it may be the beginning of lancing a life-threatening psychic boil...

[southerngirlwriter]

10. oh dear God.....

I've been there, and I have no words for how sorry I am that your friend is there. That kind of pain is indescribable.

Here's some insight for you; if you think it may help, great. If not, maybe it will at least help you understand.

The guilt I carried over having been molested was crushing. I felt guilty because a part of me thought I "enjoyed" or "wanted" it. I was told that while it was happening, and on some level a part of me believed it. I hated myself for that to a depth that words won't describe.

What a lot of prayer and meditation and self-reflection and writing and therapy helped me understand is that I did NOT enjoy the horrible things that were happening. But I did enjoy having the abuser's (a family member) undivided attention. Radical feminism be damned, kids need fathers/father figures. The ONLY time I was important enough to him to be bothered with was then. It was gut-wrenching to know that I was important as a fucktoy and nothing else, but a little kid will grasp for ANY level of importance.

The never-never land of hating myself without that understanding nearly killed me.

Put it this way: I wear a watch to cover some nasty wrist scars. 'Nuff said.

That insight freed me, and I don't feel guilty anymore. Christ, I was six! Of course I wanted his attention any way I could get it! It doesn't mean I made it happen or wanted it to happen. It was never my fault, not even a little bit, not in the slightest, not even a shadow of a hint of a speck of guilt or culpability on my part.

I GET that today, and I'm free.

Anger is important. It took me about year to process my anger. Lots of people tried to push me to forgiveness before I was through that process. Once I arrived on my own terms, forgiveness was easy. I know some here are about to pounce on me with flaming torches, but that's okay. My abuser NEVER enters my thoughts unless I hear about a situation like this. My abuser's name does not make my stomach hurt. My abuser does not matter anymore, not even a little.

My abuser doesn't live in my head anymore, and on the rare occasions that he shows up (like right now) he pays "rent" by my using him and what I learned from the horrors of my childhood to try, at least, to help others. Then I evict his ass again.

I'm not a victim anymore. I'm a survivor. I'm powerful. I'm free.

I hope your friend can get here from there. I hope my spilling my guts here helped someone, anyway.

:hug:

SGW

[afraid_of_the_dark]

16. That's truly beautiful and heart-wrenching all at the same time.

I was going to respond in more detail to your message, but you said it so eloquently that whatever I would have had to say pales in comparison. It takes a strong person to overcome that horror, and to live their life afterwards. :hug:


To the author of the original thread:

I hope the best for your friend who is hurting so badly, and I'm sending out all the positive feelings to them that I can. It's okay to feel hurt, angry, betrayed, but the moment you let it get the best of you, the one who hurt you has won again. As many of those who have responded to this thread, I too (along with several of my female relatives) was the victim of a pedophile, and I know the pain and anger. Encourage your friend to be strong, and hopefully they will see that there are brighter days ahead. :grouphug:

[IronLionZion]

15. yes they should

make sure you stay with her and let her know you care. Suicidal people often think no one cares.

[afraid_of_the_dark]

17. And I do agree...

child abusers of ANY sort (physical, emotional, sex) should rot in hell.

[camero]

18. The scars never go away

I'm sorry for your friend. I don't know what to say other than what everyone else has said. It's all good advice. Just be there for her. It's all you can do.

I was molested by a woman at 9 and I have gone through the same thing as everybody else who has had that happen to them. I have finally forgiven her and realized that it wasn't my fault but I think I may be better off as a lone wolf so to speak.

Good luck and always be there for your friends. :(

[Beaker]

20. not to come to the defense of pedophiles or anything...

but some of them are obviously mentally disturbed, and quite possibly victims as children themselves. treatment and a little compassion might well be in order in some cases

If you believe in Heaven & Hell, then I'm assuming that you also believe that we are all God's creations- although your lack of basic Christian compassion tells me that you probably aren't one of those...but- why would a loving god create pedophiles in the first place?

castration(physical or chemical) or exile from society might be options to consider in some cases, rather than summary execution and eternal damnation.

[populistmom]

21. I don't know if this is out of callousness or depravity

However, this isn't the first time I've noticed an air of hostility towards me in one of your posts. Obviously, what I wrote was from a place of pain, not because I'm some fundie nut condemning someone to eternal damnation. (I think I've been around long enough to show that's not the case.) You have no idea regarding my depths of compassion for the people in my life and humankind in general. And, as if I had to justify my spirutal beliefs, I honestly don't know where we go after we die, but I personally tend to think there's at least a bit of something beyond that of my human self involved in some respect. However, whether it's Heaven or Hell, reincarnation, Karma, electrical energy, or nothing at all, the point is that people who hurt those who are innocent should somehow be forced to confront the harm they have done.

I hope you find whatever's missing in your life to cause you to react this way to another person at a time of pain.

[Beaker]

33. but what about those who hurt others out of compulsions they can't control

due to some type of mental illness- perhaps because they themselves were victims of abuse as children-
do they deserve our scorn and contempt, or understanding and compassion?

that's the point I was trying to raise.
I apologize for the sarcastic tone of the previous post.

[southerngirlwriter]

34. There is no "can't control"

I was molested, beaten, belittled, and raped as a child.

I have been diagnosed with four different mental illnesses.

Am I entitled to compassion if I decide to hurt a child?

How about if ADULTS assume responsibility for their actions? IMAGINE THAT!!!

[Beaker]

35. yes, there is.

I did not (mean to) imply that all victims of abuse are mentally ill, nor that all abusers are mentally ill- only that there are some that are mentally ill in some way that compels them to the abuse that they commit- people that truly are not responsible for their actions...they should be condemned to "hell" for something that isn't their fault?

that's one of the reasons why we (are supposed to) have a judicial system in this country- to prevent knee-jerk vigilante actions by uninformed mobs with pitchforks and torches.

I think that mary shelley wrote a book about it...

[southerngirlwriter]

36. my shitty childhood and mental illnesses are acting up

and I am armed.

Wanna come over for a visit?

:puke: :puke: :puke:

No, I'm NOT inviting you or anyone else over to my house.

Nor do I expect you to get my point.

Why you are such a fan of the idea that mental illness or a bad childhood equates not having to take responsibility for your own actions is a mystery.

And for the first time, I'm going to use the ignore feature.

*click*

[Beaker]

37. if you want to be a writer, you should learn to read a little better.

I never said that a bad childhood equates to not having to take responsibility for your actions- your comprehension "skills" need a little more work.
as for mental illness equating to not having to "take responsibility for your actions"...Ummm yeah- in regard to many actions in many instances, that's exactly how our laws as a society are written and work- mental illness can be a legitimate defense.

do you honestly believe that it should be otherwise?

and how did i wind up at bizarro democratic underground?

[camero]

38. You both have good points

Child abuse is devastating and while I am against the death penalty even for them, they should be put away for life so they can't hurt anyone else. Also, not all abused people turn into abusers so there is at least a modicum of self control.

The survivors, of which I am one, have a hell of a fight to ever have a healthy relationship because of the damage it causes. Alot of us win this battle but the scars stay.

[Beaker]

39. BTW- if ADULTS are to assume responsibility for their actions...

does that mean that the woman in the original post in the thread, who tried to kill herself- is she then responsible for her own actions(attempted suicide)? and not the person who abused her as a child??? is that what you're saying-?
or is it only the abusers that you would like to see be "responsible"?

[populistmom]

22. Thank you

This is not a good situation for her, but I wanted to say thanks for the good wishes and a :hug: to those who courageously talked about their own stories. I'm am blessed (or lucky or fortunate, however you choose to interpret) that I have never had to go through such experiences, nor will I ever understand what could compel a person to hurt a child in such a way (in any way really). I do know that I have known and cared for far too many people who have gone through immeasurably suffering and it breaks my heart to see how years later, they still have such pain within themselves.

I hope she (and others who have gone through similar experiences) can heal and realize that they deserve the best of everything, and most certainly not the betrayal of what was taken from the as a child.

[flamingyouth]

23. I am so sorry to hear this

:hug:

I'm definitely thinking of you, your friend and her family. :loveya:

...from someone who's been there and got through it (it IS possible...believe me).

:hug:

[Susang]

24. I'm sorry for what your friend is going through

And you (and obviously your friend and her family) must be in immense pain. But try to realize that it is a cycle that usually involves severe mental illness. Yes, the people who enact the abuse must be punished. They also must be treated along with the victims to ensure that the cycle is continued.

There was severe abuse in my family, as well as my husband's, it's one of the reasons we decided not to have children ourselves. I have seen the abused become the abuser, and it's a horrible thing to experience. Until this country's mental health system is overhauled, all of the people involved will not get the help that they need and deserve.

I'll be thinking of you, your friend and her family in the coming week. Keep us posted on how she, and how you are doing.

[Pithlet]

25. I'm sorry.

I will throw some positive energy your way, for your friend. I can't even begin to imagine the hell she is going through. That's got to be tough for you, too, being so close to the situation.

:hug:

[nini]

26. Sorry to hear this..

I hope she gets the help she needs and she is lucky to have a loving friend such as yourself.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

27. So sorry about your friend

Yes, the scars don't go away.

At the age of 97, my grandmother still cried when talking about how her mother abused her both physically and verbally as she was growing up.

[onebigbadwulf]

28. Those poor daughters. Oh God.

What kind of world has this become.

[geniph]

29. I hope your friend recovers

in all senses. Been there, done that, have the emotional scars (not to mention the ones on my arms) to show for it.

Child abusers should be reincarnated as something powerless. I have to believe in karma and that bad things will cost you something. Otherwise, I'd just despair at the misery and viciousness I see all around me. All you can do is be there for her when she recovers, and support her in word and deed as best you can. Don't ever flinch away from a former victim's pain and anger; that just isolates them further. Don't turn away, don't look away, don't change the subject. Let her talk about it as much as possible.

The depth of pain a suicide attempt calls for is indescribable, and luckily for most people, they'll never understand it. Having spent most of my life in that pit, I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone. Not even those who abused me when I was young and powerless. I do think they will get what's coming to them, sometime, somewhere. But it's not mine to mete out their justice; only to try to keep them from harming others.

[Bertha Venation]

30. when she reaches a point when she can hear it, please tell her this:

There is hope. I wouldn't be here if that hadn't been my mantra and touchstone for many years. I don't know how I knew it, but I knew there was hope.

And if she ever gets to a point where she needs to correspond or talk with someone who is where she is right now, email me. I'm your woman.

:hug: to you. BE with her. She needs warmth and love right now; not much else can help at this point.

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[Cuban_Liberal]

32. If it were legal to do so, I would execute child molesters on the spot.

No lower form of life exists, IMO.