Dumb joke post...

[Fountain79]

I'm a teacher and always like to tell dumb jokes....anybody know any?

I'll start.....

Person 1: Hey did you hear about that actress who killed her husband?
Person 2: No
Person 1: Yeah her name is Reese..something, she was in Legally Blonde
Person 2: Witherspoon?
Person 1: No with her knife

HA!

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

1. Cute!

Here are two dumb riddles I made up:

Q: What do you call a waffle you eat on the beach?

A: San Diego (think about it!)



Q: How do you introduce your dad to a hooker?

A: Pop - Tart

(you may not want to tell that one)

[auntAgonist]

5. the first one

took me a few seconds :rofl: pretty good.

aA

[Ptah]

2. New Science NEWS!

A previously secret scientific experiment has been revealed.

It is now known that NASA has mounted an expedition to the Sun.

Yes, that Sun.

We switch live to Mission Control.

[underpants]

11. Actually Bush has, himself, developed a plan for us to go to the Sun

HE worked it all out all by himself





























We go at night

[northzax]

12. see, I heard that Bush was proposing a mission to the Sun

when told that it would be too hot for anything to survive, he suggested they travel at night.

another oldie:

what's bush's position on Roe v. Wade?

he doesn't give a shit how you got out of New Orleans.

[ironflange]

3. haa haaa haaaaaa

ok

there was a snail who bought a really fast car

he painted a big s on each door

so when he drove around at high speed people would say

wow
look at that s car go

[applegrove]

4. I don't get it...... now I do.

[Orrex]

6. Another political embarrassment

On a recent visit to the UK, Bush accepted an invitation to dine with the family of a certain wealthy dignitary who shall remain nameless. The dinner was exquisite, and Bush was granted the seat of honor at the head of the table. The dignitary was seated opposite, while his son and daughter sat at one side of the table. The wife of the dignitary was not present however.

"Please forgive my wife's absence," said the dignitary. "She felt ill and had to rest. Her physician says that she has acute angina."

"I understand," Bush said with great sincerely. "And she's got great boobs, too."

[madinmaryland]

9. I'll have to remember that one!

:thumbsup:

[madinmaryland]

7. An oldie, but a favorite..

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the President his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

:hi:

[Orrex]

8. I was starting to worry

Thanks for coming through at the last minute!

[Inchworm]

10. Bubba died in a fire when his still blew up

Bubba hardly went anywhere without his 2 friends Jake and Gomer, so the morgue had them come in to identify the body.

Jake comes in. Walks up to Bubba's corpse and rolls him over then says, "nope, that's not Bubba."

Gomer comes in. He walks up to Bubba's corpse and rolls it over. "Nope, that ain't Bubba."

The doc says, "How can you tell by looking at his hind quarters?"

Gomer says, "Everyone always said 'here comes Bubba with the two assholes' and this body only has one."

*bow*

[northzax]

13. hey, what goes VROOM - SCREECH -- VROOM -- SCREECH?

a freeper at a blinking red light.