Has anybody here ever had their child moved up in a grade?

[sagetea]

My daughter was just moved up from grade 5 to grade 6, although she is much happier, I still worry, any advice? They are also looking to raise her up one or possibly 2 more grades.

[RubyDuby in GA]

1. My parents would not allow it with me because I was much younger than those ahead of me

My birthday fell in such a way that I was already younger than those in my class. I would have been nearly two years younger than the others. Academically speaking, it doesn't hurt. Maturity-wise, I would be against it all the way.

[sagetea]

2. Thank you for responding

She is an only child and raised around predominately adults, so she is mature, in her mind and actions. However, her b-day is in May, so she is younger and as far as body development, well let's just say it's not!! I think I am okay for the one grade, and the school councilors, feel her transition is great. I don't think I can let her move up anymore. Then I think that the state we currently live in is way below the rest of the country, maybe it's not so bad?

[RubyDuby in GA]

3. Physical maturity was what I was mainly talking about, but emotionally as well

I am extremely grateful to my parents for having the foresight to not let me skip the grades that the school administrators wanted me to.

[Connonym]

13. I think this is very wise

I have the opposite problem, my daughter is learning delayed plus she's emotionally less mature than her peers. The teacher says that she gets along fine with the rest of the kids but because she's very small in stature and a bit immature they treat her like a fragile little doll (teacher's words). I thought about holding her back a year because she's to enter middle school in the fall and I don't think she's mature enough for that. I've decided against that because they psychologists and teacher felt that it would be overall detrimental to her self-esteem and any benefit would outweigh the risk of her feeling alienated. As I said, this is the opposite problem with my daughter but I can say with all certainty that emotional maturity and physical maturity are a big issue and I think that more than a year you'd risk your child being a bit of an outcast because of physical size and level of maturity. Perhaps it would be wiser to keep him in the same grade but look into a gifted and talented program or some other way of addressing his probable boredom with the subject matter. I would think long and hard about putting him in a position where his awkward years will be made more awkward by his age difference. That's just my feeling as a mom so take it for what it's worth (which is to say, nothing really).

I hope whatever route you decide that he'll maintain his love for learning and thrive.

[sagetea]

21. I hope she will never lose her love of learning too

My love to your daughter, I think she will be a very strong and independent woman.
Young Whisper, is very tall, taller than me as a matter of fact.
Although, the councilors have said she is fine, I don't think I will move her up anymore, at least until she gets bored!!!

[Connonym]

22. oops! sorry I was confused

for some reason thought you had a son. Sorry.

[margotb822]

8. Same here

I am an only child born in late August (the cut-off date is Sep 1), so I was one of the youngest in my grade (except for a few waivers). Please do not move her up any further. Your daughter will benefit from being able to take extra college prep/AP classes and she will gain social skills. If she is 15 or 16 when she goes off to college, her experience there will not be as good as it could be if she were 17 or 18. Besides, there's no rush to "grow up" right?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

4. I would do it. She can socialize with kids her age outside of

school. Let her try it. What does she think about it?

[sagetea]

20. I let her decide

she was invited to an interview, and I told her that she had to make that decision and her father and I would support her, she has been asking about this for the last year.
Well, the councilors and principals loved her, and put her in immediately, she really does love it. She told me the other day that she was glad to have other kids around her that are smart so she didn't feel so strange. LOL!!

[Tuesday Afternoon]

36. Good to hear. I figured she was bored out of her mind in her

other class. I know I was, back in the way back of OH so long ago :D

[LeftyMom]

5. I was moved up one, and started a year early.

Some of my classes (all-day gifted classes) were two grades combined, so I routinely made friends with and interacted with students several years older than me. Socially, that wasn't difficult. I did have a hard time socially in junior high and high school, but that was more a matter of my personality than of placement. The friends I did have were several grades ahead, I probably would have done pretty well if I were moved up another year or two, but I likely still would have been bored most of the time.

[sagetea]

18. That is kinda like where she is at now

it is basically a liberal arts school,learning through art and music, all on computer, and hands on learning with science, social studies,ect.
I think when school gets out in two months and she starts grade 7, she will probably get bored and demand to get pushed up again.
Were you a prodigy? I think I'm going to be asking you some more questions, if that's alright? Young Whisper, is very gifted in music,she has played the piano and violin since she was 4.That is also when she learned about microscopes, lol, she loves those things!!! She took her barbie apart at 5 and studied it under the microscope!!!
She as always hated toys, I thought it was normal. Oh well, I am a hopeless mom baking cookies!!

[LeftyMom]

35. Feel free to PM me if you need any advice

I did the mainstreaming thing, partial-day gifted program, full-day gifted program (that was HEAVEN,) high school honors/ap classes etc, so I have some insight on what kept me engaged and what bored me silly.

Do listen to her opinion on the matter- I am glad that when the decision to place me at the school nearest my home in a mainstream class for my grade or to move me up a year so I could be in a gifted class at another school that I was given that choice. As long as she's not a complete workaholic and knows that you'll honor her decision, she probably knows as well as anybody what will work for her. Also, if you can talk to her teacher in advance, especially if you can observe a class, that should give you a good idea of what to expect. Some teachers I had the misfortune of knowing seem to think their job is to bury gifted kids under busywork designed for a grade or two up, which doesn't work because busywork is still shallow and boring. Other teachers have a gift for designing challenging open-ended work that a student can engage at their level- they are rare gems and well worth the effort to find.

[MorningGlow]

6. Huzzah to your smart kid!

No personal experience, but the idea of moving her up too far reminded me of that scene in Almost Famous when the main character, who didn't know how young he really was, was a pipsqueak next to post-puberty classmates who were checking their facial hair in the bathroom mirror.

Does your district offer any gifted/talented "enrichment" courses outside the regular classroom? Might be a better alternative.

[sagetea]

16. I never saw that movie!!

She had what they called it in Idaho, T.A.G, talented and gifted, what a joke....they learned how to play chess, For three effing years!!!
We changed schools and the enrichment classes are a great sigh of relief. She does love it and wants to go up some more, it's me that has the problem!!

[Tyrone Slothrop]

7. I skipped a grade(2nd) when I was younger

I kind of feel like it ruined my life in some ways.

I'm a pretty miserable and lonely adult, and I feel a lot of that came from being shunned by my "older" classmates. My social life was pretty much non-existent from the moment I skipped until I was a senior in high school. And, as far as dating...forget it. No one wanted to date the smart kid who couldn't even drive a car in his junior year.

This, of course, may all just stem from my misanthropic personality. Or maybe that's how said personality was created.

Just my two cents...

[sagetea]

15. Well it's hard to really judge her social life as

she was having a hell of a time where she was to begin with, she was smart in 5th grade too!! And yes my heart went out to her, it was miserable, she was miserable.We moved her to a different town, closer to where we work, nobody, accept the administration knows she came from the 5th grade. I think that might be an advantage to her.

[LynzM]

17. That seems like a major advantage.

For the time being (until she has a birthday), nobody need know that she has skipped up a grade, and thus I'd think they're more likely to accept her as a peer, and less likely to shun her or continue to see her as the kid who moved up, you know? Hopefully by the time the gossip gets out, she will already have made some friends.

I often wonder if I'd have been happier moved up a grade, but one can never know. I'm glad that it seems to be a positive thing for her so far. I would be hesitant to move her up any further, though, and would probably try to look at private education in that case, particularly something like Montessori, which is more child-led in terms of pace and depth of study.

Good luck to her! :)

[GreenPartyVoter]

9. It was mentioned to us in the past, but I have no interest in zipping my kids through school. There

is more they need to develop than just their intellects. Whether they graduate college at 18 or 21 really doesn't have that much affect on the rest of their lives, does it?

[sagetea]

12. It wasn't a matter of age...

We moved from Washington State to Idaho, and there is such a big difference with the education system, that she was very bored and way beyond Idaho schools. She still has her friends, at the school she attended, in the town we live in. We (Hubby and I) work 45 miles away, and we chose to move her to a school that was closer to our work.
So she does get the best of both worlds, she sees her other friends on holidays and weekends.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

10. skipping one grade one thing but if you skip too many she might not learn enough social skills

because the kids in her class will be physically and emotionally more mature

you dont want her to not have peer age friends. i think one grade is fine, but if she is 12 and her class is 14, she will have weird difference with them.

[sagetea]

11. Yes I agree, that was my "worry"

Thank you!!

[rockymountaindem]

29. I was like that and I didn't have a problem

I would say that the friends I made in high school, who are all 18 months or two years older than me, were then and still are the best kind of friends anybody could ever hope for. I've been out of high school five years and now that I'm back in town for spring break I'm going out with two of them tonight, went skiing with one of them yesterday, and had lunch with two of them on Wednesday. I'm also planning on seeing two others tomorrow.

It's not about age, but about having things in common. That's possible at any age IMHO. If someone is smart enough to move ahead two or more grades (and be successful at the higher level), the amount of maturity required to deal with that is probably enough to ensure that they won't have trouble interacting with their new peers.

[Recursion]

14. I was moved up and then back

I was moved back because when we moved the new school district said they didn't believe in skipping grades.

Honestly, I think the most important education you get in a school is social, so I'm not all fired up about the skipping a grade idea.

[AnneD]

19. My daughter was eligible to move up a couple of grades....

but as advanced as she was intellectually, she was just her age socially. I thought it would have been hard for her socially-she would always been immature and maybe had fewer friends or worse yet, be around kids that were mature in ways she was not ready for. In the end-I opted to have stay where she was and she got advanced (enrichment) classes. I also held her to a higher standards when it came to her grades. Today she is a mature well rounded, smart, funny, responsible young lady (works, pays her car and ins, volunteer a day a week at the local radio station, saving money for college). It was the right choice for her.

Every situation is different. If she had been mature for her age-I would have advanced her without hesitation. Look at all the angles. Some kids that are advanced can be teased etc, they can feel more pressure-they loose their childhood faster. Remember-as flattering as it is to have an intellectually precocious child-put your child's needs before your ego. (not intending offense-I see many parents do this).

[sagetea]

23. Ho`

and thank you, I would never take offense when I have asked a question inviting advise!!
I can't say that i'm getting no ego boost,that of course it makes me as a parent proud? but it was not my idea,she first approached us, then her teacher, and finally the councilor. Her grades and GPA are at college levels this I knew but I was just going to send her to more summer camps, ya know? I just wanted to play Barbie's and read to her!!
The only thing i've ever pushed her on is her music, because she loves it and when she would get frustrated I pushed her.
It was her needs that prompted us to check out this new school and grade.
She was bored and angry at the behavior of the school she was in, she called it grade school pre-school. Idaho schools( at least where we live) are very low, they don't encourage the kids to even graduate, they tell them that 50% will never graduate, now is that encouraging?
Sorry, I still get upset when I think about that.

[AnneD]

25. Your wise to take your

cues from her. Sounds like she thinks she can handle it both academically and intellectually. Go for it but let her know she has an out if she wants to drop back a grade if she is advanced to far. A gifted child that is not challenged is bored, angry, acts out, mentally retreats, and can eventually drop out.

I was one of those kids (I mentally retreated) until my 9th grade English teacher put 2+2 together. I was a hair's width from dropping out until she made a case for me to go into an accelerated English class. She really had to butt heads because our school had a caste system-and my family wasn't the right caste. Once I got labeled as gifted, I could go to other advanced classes. I liken my education to The Wizard of Oz. The first part was black and white, the last part was in vibrant colour.

[snacker]

24. This was the exact situation with our daughter...

intellectually advanced, but not ready socially. She was young for her class anyway and I didn't want her to be at a disadvantage in other areas (socially, emotionally, physically, etc.). We are still happy with that decision. I think it's important to look to the future (which was one way we gauged our decision). We didn't really see any advantages to her graduating from high school at 16 or going off to college at 17.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

26. You can always provide an enriched home environment

I probably could have skipped a grade (probably around second grade, which I found boring) but my school didn't do that.

However, my parents had a house full of books and believed in giving us intellectually stimulating experiences, like seeing historic sites when we traveled or attending arts events.

[sagetea]

27. I think that is what got us to this point LOL

I was reading to her in vitro, literally, and played classical music for her to fall asleep with.It escalated from there, she started piano at four, then wanted to take violin about 4 months later. Her dad is a history buff, and started teaching her that and she would read every book she could get her hands on by the time she was in kindergarten.
One of her favorite things was to study the globe, we had one and stuck it in her room, at 2 she was saying the continents and pointing them out. It was so cute, in that little voice.
The only thing I have done is teach her how to bake cookies and of course learning about corrupt politicians!!

[crispini]

28. I started early, it was like moving up a grade.

At the time I was kind of annoyed being younger than everyone else but now I LOVE IT. :bounce:

[eppur_se_muova]

30. I skipped a grade, would gladly have skipped more.

Also started college a year early.

There may be some occasional awkwardness, but it's pretty minor. Nothing compared to the benefit of (partially) satisfying that craving for knowledge.

[PassingFair]

31. Thank you...

my second born was reading Harry Potter books
on the first day of kindergarten.

The teacher felt she didn't belong in a classroom
where others where just being introduced to the
alphabet, so the school split her into half days...
one half kindergarten/half 1st grade.

After 2 weeks, they just moved her into 1st grade
full-time.

She was MAD, because she had had afternoon kindergarten,
and now had to get up at 7:00 instead of 10:00!

She's obviously over her anger now, and is the
tallest girl in 8th grade!

I am SO glad she moved up when she did, as her
kindergarten teacher said she had been "withdrawing"
from the rest of the class.

Her older sister is mad because I let the younger one do things
one year earlier than SHE could....

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

32. Depends on the kid and the school.

I got moved ahead when I was really young -- started first grade at about 4-1/2 because I could read pretty well. The problem was that I was so young and so much smaller than the other kids that I was treated like kind of a freak. This was way back in the '50s when they didn't really take kids' social development into consideration; they just threw you in with the others and you were expected to cope. So although I liked the learning part, especially all the cool books I got to read, I was pretty much a social outcast and a hopeless nerd, a situation that lasted until college. But your kid is older and probably better able to handle the change, so maybe it would work out better for her.

[riderinthestorm]

33. Middle school years - eek!

Mean girl stuff ahead and socially, this is where the immature girls will suffer.

My oldest skipped a grade (2nd), and started a year earlier because of a former school district's start date for kindergartners so she was always 2 years younger than her school peers. She suffered in middle school. She wasn't into makeup, clothes or boys while everyone else around her was going crazy. She didn't start her period until years after her classmates which always had her feeling left out of a lot of conversations for example.... I will say that high school evened out a lot of problems but she was in such misery for probably 2 solid years until she got well into high school that I'd never put another one through that. Think about realities such as your daughter being 12 years old and wanting to go to Homecoming. Everyone else is staying up till midnight at the Homecoming dance and then going to someone's house afterwards to continue the party - how is she going to feel? How will you handle that?

My daughter is/was plenty smart enough for the grade skipping but I wouldn't allow it for my second girl now for the reasons I've outlined above. I can give them a lot of fun academic stuff outside of school that kept them/keeps them from getting bored and into trouble. I did (with my older girl and now with her sister) take them out of school to go to concerts, museums or our own field trips when we could. They take local classes at the community college so by the time my oldest went to university, she entered as a sophomore (so yes, she is now graduating in May at 19 years old with a perfect 4.0 says proud mama).

I can't tell you what to do with your girl, just provide my own anecdote, but good luck in your decision.

[wildeyed]

34. Try the Iowa Acceleration Scale .

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0910707553/ref=ord_cart_shr?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance

There is also a ton of info on the subject at the Hoagies' Gifted site. http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/index.htm

Most of the recent research favors grade acceleration as a way to meet the needs of highly gifted students when there isn't a self contained gifted classroom option, but clearly the decision needs to be made on a student by student basis.

[ScreamingMeemie]

37. We chose not to, but I think it depends on the child.

Our daughter has always been a high achiever, in spite of her lazy mama. But, we also noted that she lacked a little in common sense when it came to social situations. We opted to enrich her outside of school and let her move along with her class. Too many times I've seen kids who just can't handle the social aspects attempt to, with detrimental results. We had enough problems even within her age group.

[Lyric]

38. As someone who was in a similar situation as a child

I advise no. 5th grade would make her around 10, right? Well ten years olds are okay with eleven year olds, but a ten year old girl will be socially isolated and miserable in a class full of 13 or 14 year olds. When I was ten, the most common topics of conversation were Barbies, My Little Ponies, and bands that we liked. 13 and 14 year olds talk about "doing it" (at least when the grownups aren't around) and other topics that are not the kind of thing you want your ten year old listening to every day. Even if she avoids talking to the older kids, she can't avoid overhearing what they talk about with each other. I'm not saying that it's unhealthy for teens to talk about "adult" things; I'm just saying that such conversations might not be what you'd want a ten year old to listen to.

I only officially "skipped" one grade, but I had to take English, history, and science classes with kids 2-3 grades ahead of me, and I remember this sort of thing all too well. Better to leave her with the kids closer to her own age.

[blueraven95]

39. I skipped a grade in middle school

I skipped seventh grade - and it was absolutely the best thing the school and my parents could have done for me, although I'm pretty sure it would have been a mistake to skip me further. I, like your daughter, tended to be emotionally mature, with friends who were older than me, and I certainly didn't have any problem with the harder academics - if anything it was a relief.

One of the nice things about skipping a grade in middle school is that it's only a year or two before you go to high school, and at least where I am, that meant a whole new group of people who didn't know that I was younger.

As for skipping more grades, unless your daughter is really unhappy where she is education-wise, I would be pretty much against it. At some point you do become to immature to handle all the stuff around you.

My two cents. :)

[pnwmom]

40. I recommend you read "Punished by Rewards" -- a great book for any parent,

but especially for parents of high-achievers.

I skipped one grade, but I was already one of the younger kids in my original class. So, in my new class, several of the kids were almost two years older than I. This wasn't a problem; in fact, the class was a much better fit.

And now my 9th grade son has a boy in his class who is 2-3 years younger than everyone else. Yes, the boy is shorter and obviously younger. But he's also very happy and quite well liked.

So, if your daughter is much happier in her new class, then quit worrying. You and she made the right decision. Keep following HER lead and you'll do fine.

[Generic Brad]

41. I have stopped it from happening for seven consecutive years now

Every year it is suggested and every year my wife and I reject the idea. Intellectually, we know our daughter could handle college now. But socially, we feel she needs to progress at the same pace as other people her age. She is in agreement with that, especially since she prefers seventh grade boys to men. She has always developed normally on the social and emotional side.

But I also recognize that there are other especially gifted children who can handle all facets of advancing. I think that if you do move them up it is better to do it sooner rather than later. Congrats on having an exceptional child. I know that presents unique challenges other parents do not have to deal with.