New husbands joke.

[applegrove]

New husbands


Three men were sitting together bragging about how
they had set their new wives straight on their duties.

The first man had married a woman from British Columbia.
He bragged that he had told his wife to do all the dishes
and clean the house. He said that it took her a couple of
days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house
and the dishes were all washed and put away.

The second man had married a woman from Ontario.
He bragged that he had given his wife orders that
she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking.
He told the men that the first day he didn't see any results,
but by the next day it was better, and on the third day, his
house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner
on the table.

The third man had married a Saskatchewan girl. He
boasted that he told her his house was to be cleaned,
the dishes washed, the cooking done and the laundry
done and folded. And this was all her responsibility.

He said the first day he didn't see anything and the
second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day
some of the swelling had gone down so he could see a
little out of his left eye!

Gotta love those women from the prairies!

[Swede]

1. Pay it forward

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door.

The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

'Not a chance,' says the husband, 'it is 3:00 in the morning!'
He slams the door and returns to bed.

'Who was that?' asked his wife.

'Just some drunk guy asking for a push,' he answers.

'Did you help him?' she asks.

'No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!'

'Well, you have a short memory,' says his wife. 'Can't you remember about three months

ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him,

and you should be ashamed of yourself!'

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.

He calls out into the dark, 'Hello, are you still there?'

'Yes,' comes back the answer.

'Do you still need a push?' calls out the husband.

'Yes, please!' comes the reply from the dark.

'Where are you?' asks the husband.

'Over here on the swing,' replied the drunk.

[GreenPartyVoter]

2. *head thunks on desk*