Wow. So a couple broke into a church to have sex on the alter

[Fleshdancer]

Is this part of the war on Easter?

http://www.news4jax.com/news/15652175/detail.html

MACCLENNY, Fla. -- Baker County deputies investigating a report of a suspicious person at North Prong Cemetery Church found a woman inside and a man hiding under the church. They told investigators they broke in so they could have sex on the altar.

Arriving deputies said they found the door of the church on county Road 210 busted out and undergarments scattered on the floor. They found Crystal Ann Rowland, 24, hiding behind the pulpit and Matthew Thomas Pearce, 28, hiding in the crawl space under the church.

Pearce told deputies that he had Rowland were drinking when she told him she wanted a "spiritual and sexual experience." Deputies said Rowland broke into the little-used church located next to the North Prong Cemetery near Sanderson.

:rofl:

How bad am I for thinking this is kinda hot? Must be my inner Pagan.

[DS1]

1. There's gotta be a cross vibrator available somewhere on the Internet

[PleadTheFirst]

3. I have no idea ...

why I know this site exists.

http://www.divine-interventions.com/


:evilgrin:

[YDogg]

19. Jackhammer Jesus?

Sounds even more divine than Jenna's Beaver Vibe.

:shrug:

[Fleshdancer]

4. I googled "Christian sex toys" and got this:

http://mybelovedsgarden.net/

They claim they sell Christian sex toys but I don't see Jesus anywhere. :shrug:

[khashka]

12. OK You really want me to get banned.......

There's um. the baby Jesus butt plug and the Virgin Mary dildo... avaialable at a reasonable price.


And the mods are going to come down hard on me. But she started it! Not me!


Khash.

[Fleshdancer]

13. haha!

:rofl:

The Virgin Mary dildo???

:rofl:

[MonkeyFunk]

14. How do you think she stayed a virgin so long?

[Political Heretic]

2. thats hawt

:P

[khashka]

5. You are no worse than I am

Hot? Two women getting it on in a cathedral in Italy......

I thought I was having some sort of major sexual meltdown :)

But it was cool they let me watch.....

Khash.

NOI sex threads!

[JVS]

6. A communion set has a lot of gold, they might have been planning robbery instead of trespassing

[MonkeyFunk]

7. I heard he fucked her in the apse.

[Richardo]

9. !!

:hi:

[MonkeyFunk]

10. Yup

made a real mess in the rectory.

[Greyskye]

16. Did you see why?

The pew got in the way.














:hide:

[quip]

23. The whole affair got a little crazy in the end

[KitchenWitch]

11. Did she play with his nave?

[Richardo]

8. "North Prong"?

:D

[Rabrrrrrr]

15. The church's name is Mount Zion Primitive Baptist Church

Primitive does indeed describe a lot of the southern baptist tradition...

:eyes:

http://www.firstcoastnews.com/news/local/news-article.aspx?storyid=104930

Especially this typically judgment-lovin' hypocritical kind of bullshit:

(Deacon) Altman says he won't judge the pair. He'll leave that to someone else.

"Don't think that the lord ain't got something for them," said Altman.

[leftofthedial]

17. North -Prong- Cemetary Church?

:rofl:

[StrongBad]

18. You gotta love the guy's "she made me do it" explanation

Considering the parallels with Genesis...

[Fleshdancer]

20. that had to be my favorite part....

well that and the fact that he crawled under the church in the attempt to not get busted.

More evidence that Eve was totally framed.

[YDogg]

21. Dude's got an otherworldly eye

[theredpen]

22. Who hasn't done this at least once?

Once a week.

[Parche]

24. I Heard Her Yelling "Oh God, Oh God, Oh God"

:rofl: :hide: :popcorn: :hi:

[bigwillq]

25. I've had sex in a church

Well in the basement of the church but it still counts! :evilgrin: