I'm a bit freaked-Just sent an ex-girlfriend a facebook friend request by mistake!

[Tropics_Dude83]

What do I do?!1 My ex-girlfriend and I broke up 10 months ago under circumstances that I regret. She told me that she never wanted to be contacted again and would not be pleased to say the least if she was contacted by me. I won't get into the details but it is a long and truly two-sided story; but what should I do? The e-mail from Facebook sent asking her to be my friend is sent and I can't change that one iota! Facebook friend invitations are sent as defacto e-mails from the person sending the invitation as well. So she will get a e-mail from "insert my name here" with the subject "friend invitation."

I could be in big trouble? Could the police get involved? I don't have a restraining order against me or anything. Our relationship didn't end THAT badly and no violence or illegal stuff was involved at all but still she's not someone that I'd want to mess around with vis a vis her instructions not to contact her. What do I do? Just hope she ignores it? Send a e-mail saying it was an accident?

What happened was I wanted to see if a mutual friend of ours was on facebook and I accidentally typed in her e-mail address to try to find our mutual friend and I didn't realize I was sending my ex an facebook friend invitation request by typing in her e-mail.

Thanks for your help. I know this is kind of crazy. What do you think my ex will think?

[cbayer]

1. There are no mistakes.

You are being completely driven by your sub-conscious.

She will either reply or not. If she replies, it will be friendly or not.

Dude, it's facebook. You didn't send her a horses head or anything.

[LeftyFingerPop]

2. Don't worry about it...

Send her an email, tell her it was a mistake, and ask her to ignore it. I don't see a big deal here.

[Tropics_Dude83]

5. Phillboy-Yep that's what I did

And thanks. I don't see the big deal either. OK. thanks. She can be truly frightening sometimes; that's why I got a bit anxious.

[Ellen Forradalom]

3. Chill

Who knows, you may be pleasantly surprised.

If not, forget about it.

[Lavender Brown]

4. Sending her an email to explain might make it worse

if she's really that adverse to being contacted. I think if she responds, explain, otherwise don't worry about it.

[Tropics_Dude83]

7. We were long distance right

And if I called her and she happened to be having a bad day even when she was claiming that she would love me forever, she would scream when I said "Hey how are you?", she'd say "I'M DOING JUST GREAT! I'll CALL YOU RIGHT BACK." I would say "ok. Bye." She'd scream "Bye"; so she even hated being contacted when we were together so you can see why I thought that this may be an issue now...lol.

[Skittles]

6. 10 months ago is a while

I wouldn't do anything at all....just let it go......just one of the traps of this day and age :)

[Pushed To The Left]

8. I'm not 100% sure, but you might want to try doing what you did before to add her

and see if it gives you an option of cancelling the request. I know that MySpace does that.

[MrScorpio]

9. You're freaking out about this?

I really don't know what to say

[JCMach1]

10. Freud says there are no accidents...

I say, sit back and enjoy the drama... let go your inner censor.

Go ahead and let her hit the roof as you described she might. Then, you can send the mistake email... LOL

At least it was a bigger mistake you got out of 10 months ago.

Worst case scenario, she accepts and she stalks you by posting pictures of herself on your wall with a butcher knife... ahhhh, such is life. :sarcasm:

Seriously, relax!

[La Lioness Priyanka]

20. freud is an idiot who clearly has never uploaded their email box into facebook

and thereby sent out invites to just about everyone

[JVS]

11. You'd better think of some question that you need to ask her FAST.

I'd suggest that you just say "Hey, do you know what XXXXX's contact info is. Sorry to bug you, won't happen again.

And that's just in case she responds. If not, you leave it the fuck alone.

[T_i_B]

14. Facebook has a million pointless questions that can be asked.

All those pointless applications!

On the other hand you can always join the Democratic Underground Facebook group, which is anything but pointless. :-)

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2426871461

[JVS]

15. I know you said not to contact you, but I need a new member of my vampire army

[T_i_B]

16. Or maybe...

"I know you said not to contact you, but I need to know what sex toy you are!"

"I know you said not to contact you, but would you like a game of scrabulous?"

"I know you said not to contact you, but here's a really stupid superwall post"

"I know you said not to contact you, so I'm going to throw a sheep at you instead."

The list goes on and on!

[harmonicon]

12. easy: never use facebook again

if that's no good, change your email address - never check the old one again.

If that's not good enough for you, take your computer out to the street, beat it with a baseball bat until it's in pieces, then take what's left of the hard drive and drill through it with a dill press.

[DS1]

13. Oh noes! What will my ex think?

Damn, dude.

[Tropics_Dude83]

17. Cyberstalking....

What I worry about is because she asked for no contact, if she wanted to, she could go to the police and accuse me of cyberstalking her. Is this possible? This is the first time I've had contact with her since July of last year; but still I've read stuff in the past about people being prosecuted for attempting to contact someone through Facebook.

Of course here, again, there are no legal issues involved and no institution was involved. We ended over something really stupid. But, theroetically, she could take this as cyberstalking right? I know that sending a facebook friend request entirely by mistake is not stalking but she might take it as such.

Am I just being stupid or could that be involved here?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

19. stalking has to be a pattern not one email.

[electron_blue]

23. fyi, it takes a hell of a lot more than 1 facebook invitation in 10 months to

prove cyberstalking. You're fine.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

18. your ex will probably write you a crazy email. you will answer her and then BLOCK her account

so that you dont send her another invite my mistake nor do you keep going back and forth with someone you dont care for

[clevbot]

21. don't worry

it she doesn't reply... i would probably let it go

[VenusRising]

22. I wouldn't worry about it.

You've done everything you can for now.

I don't think that you are going to get in trouble for sending a friend request. It's not like you actually went to her house and MADE her be your friend. Take a few deep breaths and forget about it. You sent an email saying it was a mistake, and as ling as you don't contact her again, there will be no question about your intentions, which were none.

I hope you feel better about it. I let my brain freak me out sometimes, and I don't recommend it. :P

[unpossibles]

24. I'd say not to worry about it

she can easily ignore it and curse you under her breath, or she can accept the invite and get over it.