Should I shave my head?

[Longhorn]

Once I know for sure what kind of chemotherapy I'll be getting (I go to MD Anderson next Tuesday) I'll know for sure if I will lose my hair. I have long blond hair. I've heard two recommendations:

1. Get it cut short so that it won't be as noticeable as it falls out, then shave the rest. Seems like I would need a wig and/or scarves ready in advance.

2. Get it shaved off before it starts falling out as it may be more empowering to do it myself than to wait for the chemo to do it.

I'll be getting a wig or two and it's better to have them fitted with no hair. Also, MD Anderson sells wigs so I could get it done while I'm down there. I may also use scarves and hats -- I've seen some beautiful bald ladies when I go for radiation therapy -- but I don't know if I can go bald in public all in one step. Losing my hair wasn't that important to me when I first got the diagnosis but I think it will get harder as it gets closer. :scared:

Two cool things happened yesterday:

1. Yesterday was my last day of classes before I go to MD Anderson. A student brought me some flowers in a vase shaped like a cowboy boot! :) She said it was actually a souvenir mug from a rodeo.

2. Yesterday was also my last radiation treatment for this round (one more round in two weeks, depending on what they say at MDA.) My radiological oncologist, who knew nothing about my cowboy boots kickin' and stompin' the cancer, gave me a plaque engraved with a John Wayne quote that says, "Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway." Now, this is Texas and maybe he gives these to all his patients but it sure has special meaning for me (even though I'm not really a John Wayne fan. ;)) When I told him about my boots, he said that gave him chills.

I've already been through the ringer this morning! I got a call from MD Anderson saying I needed a referral from my PCP and I may have to reschedule my appointment if I don't get it before I get there. After several phone calls to my PCP, Blue Cross Blue Shield of Texas, and MD Anderson, I have a referral number. Fortunately, my GYN oncologist had already requested the referral from my PCP so it was just a matter of getting the right doctor's name on it. (At least, that's the latest I've heard -- I'm waiting to hear back from MDA.) It's a good thing I was off today so that I had time to drop everything for an hour and make a bunch of panicky phone calls!

Finally, I spilled water on my cellphone! :( I just got it last week! It was just a quick splash -- I hope it recovers. Since I'm always either teaching or traveling from campus to campus, I can't make it through this experience without it!

[Longhorn]

1. Hey, you don't have to be a cancer expert to have an opinion!

I'm sure no expert! :)

[KG]

2. go ahead. buzz-cut it or shave it. forget the wigs; bald is beautiful on women.

ok, i'm kinky that way, so sue me.... :hi:

[Longhorn]

3. I don't know if I'm brave enough

but I'll see what it looks like! I'm sure I'll get used to it and become less self-conscious. I don't know if I will always want the attention.

Thanks! :hi:

[malta blue]

4. My friend's mom shaved her head

and sported a little buzzcut looking hairstyle during her chemo treatments.

My HS drama teacher donned a scarf and looked fabulous with her huge hoop earings and long flowing skirts.

My best to you longhorn :hug:

[Longhorn]

32. Thanks!

I guess I need to find my own style! :hug:

[warrior1]

5. If you know for sure it will fall out

I would wait. I have a friend who's hair didn't fall out. So....

[Longhorn]

33. I think a part of me does feel like I should be sure first.

Thanks!

[fight4my3sons]

6. it's such a personal thing

I know that when I see woman with bald heads I think of them as beautiful and courageous. I have had friends battle cancer and they have lost their hair while going through chemo. Some have worn wigs, some scarves and some have chosen to just go out bald and beautiful.

One of my friend's son's has been fighting for just over a year now. http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/dylanmayo He is 8 yrs old. He grew his hair back, but has lost it again. He is just now ending a non-FDA approved drug to see if that will clear up the blasts in his bone marrow. He has a collection of frogs as they like to say that they FROG it (Fully Rely on God). I really like your cowboy boots kickin' and stompin' cancer.

I hope you have a much better rest of the day and best of luck next Tuesday.

:hug:

[Longhorn]

35. Oh, my, what a story.

My heart aches for Dylan and his family. I hope he's okay.

Thanks for your comments! :hug:

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

7. Do wait to find out what kind of chemo you'll get

My mom had metastatic colon cancer and received several types of chemo, and she never lost her hair. My sister had breast cancer, and she was told she would lose her hair, so she went ahead and shaved it off. She just wore hats and never bothered with a wig.

Luck and love to you, Longhorn. :hug: :grouphug:

[Longhorn]

36. Yes, I'll definitely find out about that.

Thanks so much! :hug:

[Phillycat]

8. It won't necessarily fall out!

Some people actually don't lose their hair with chemo - seems a shame to do it if you actually won't lose your hair in the end.

That said, I love the look of a shaved head on a woman. So if you want to, and it makes you feel empowered, then GO FOR IT! :hug:

[supernova]

10. That's true

not all chemo these days makes your hair fall out.

I love shaved heads. My mom tried a couple of wigs, but they just didn't look good on her, frankly. She had a beautifully shaped skull and looked better bald.

[supernova]

9. FWIW, I think scarves and hats look better

than wigs, esp in hot weather.

Also, look for a a patient class on makeup and such. Sometimes people forget to take care of themselves in the frivolous fun ways. Duke has one and I bet MD Anderson has one too. It's just a fun thing to do and takes the pressure off.

:hug:

[Longhorn]

15. I'll find out about that!

That's something I can do while I'm waiting for appointments and results. Thanks! :hug:

[Iris]

11. Love the serendipity part of your post!

Maybe it means you should get a cowboy hat?

But, seriously, I'd wait and see what happens. You could see your hair falling out as your body accepting the chemicals it needs to battle the cancer and letting the hair go is part of that process. Also, as someone else mentioned, it'd be a shame to shave your head if it's possible your hair won't fall out at all.

[Longhorn]

14. That's a great idea!

It might look a little funny in the classroom but not really out of place anywhere else. ;) Thanks for the suggestion!

[Pool Hall Ace]

12. I would be tempted to go ahead and shave my head.

Although, as mentioned, it is a personal decision, and you may not lose your hair anyway (my mom didn't when she had chemo).

Best of luck with your cancer battle. We are all pulling for you! :hi:

[Longhorn]

34. Thank you!

It would be nice if just a little luck came my way! :)

[Longhorn]

13. Thanks for the great responses!

The nurse at my GYN-ONC's office told me that if I get chemo A, I might not lose my hair but if I get chemo B, I definitely would. So I'll at least wait and see what they say at MDA when I know what my treatment is going to be. It's definitely a good point that it would be a waste to cut it off if I don't have to.

I LOVE the idea of the cowboy hat! And the reminder about how hot a wig would be, especially here in Texas in the summer. Also, I have a convertible and I love to drive with the top down (and the AC going full blast) and I wonder if a wig would blow off!

This morning has been lousy. I'm now being told by the person at MDA that my appointment is still not a done deal because even though I have a referral number, it takes 24 to 48 hours for it to "hit the system" at BCBS and they have to see it in the system before I can confirm the appointment. I did finally get an MDA patient number and I have a call into my patient advocate. I also found out that I need to hand-carry the actual films or a CD of my films so I put that request into the radiology office and the CD should be ready this afternoon.

On top of this, my airbags deployed on my Mustang as the attendant was driving my car onto the ramp at the carwash the other day. I need to get it examined to see if there was liability on the part of the carwash and, if not, will my insurance cover it. So we'll drop the car off on the way out of town on Monday. The manager of the carwash called to say he reviewed the security tapes and didn't see anything unusual about what the attendant did and that I can come review the tapes if I wish. I have a call into my insurance agent.

Does anyone answer the phone any more?!!! :shrug: :)

My phone is still acting strange. I probably ruined it. :(

I need a nap! :hi:

[Haole Girl]

40. My best friend at work cut her hair short and then it didn't fall out!

I'm not sure what kind of chemo she had, but she also had many rounds of radiation.

What a bad time to have car problems...on top of everything else!! :hug:

[Longhorn]

41. I think I'll wait and just be ready with some scarves.

I have a habit of playing with my hair -- I can tie a strand in a knot with just one hand! -- and I'm sure going to miss it if I have to cut it or lose it. But there are certainly worse things!

The timing of the car problem is actually good -- I'll be gone all week so I can leave it at the dealer to be fixed. It turns out that the corporate person from the carwash did call and leave a message on my still ailing phone yesterday so maybe the company will step up and take responsibility. We'll see.

Thanks! :hug:

[gmoney]

16. My girlfriend just shaved her head...

I wasn't too sure about it at first, but it's growing on me, so to speak. :)

She's a model, and the response from photographers has been quite positive... they're always looking for something different and extreme. Maybe if you shave it off, you could launch your modeling career. :)

[Longhorn]

37. I love the smiley!

I've seen some beautiful bald women! I just don't know if I'll be one of them. ;)

Thanks! :hi:

[GardeningGal]

17. How often will you be going to MD Anderson and how far is it?

I'd probably wait to make sure it was going to fall out and then once it started I'd shave it off before I went back to MD Anderson so I could get a wig at the next visit. Mainly because I'd hate to shave it off if I happened to be one of the exceptions and it didn't fall out.

[Longhorn]

25. It's about 3.5 hours from me.

I don't know yet whether I'll have my treatment there or in Austin. There are wig places here, too, but I would like to work with someone who knows the special needs of bald people. :)

To complicate things, I'm also due for a touchup of my roots but I hate to spend the money if my hair is going to be gone soon. But that's a fairly minor issue.

Thanks! :hi:

[meegbear]

18. As someone who shaves his head ...

GO FOR IT!!!

[Longhorn]

38. I have a son-in-law who said he'll shave his head

if I lose my hair.

Thanks! :)

[hippywife]

19. I vote for

doing whatever makes you feel best about the whole thing. I also vote skipping the wigs. Scarves would be so great and you could have them in different colors and learn to tie them in different ways depending on your mood or outfit. I think turbans would be awesome!!

Take your battery and card out of your phone and let it sit open to dry and it will probably do okay. I dropped my pager in a big glass of water a couple of weeks ago and did that. Works just fine.

I'm still thinking of you often and sending vibes your way even if we aren't corresponding here often. I wish all the best for you and am totally inspired at how wonderfully strong you already are. Your attitude is amazing!

:hug:

[Longhorn]

23. Thank you.

I've got the phone taken apart and drying out now. I hope I didn't wait too long.

Thanks for thinking of me! It really does help! :hug:

[Longhorn]

39. My phone is finally working again!

When I tried it this morning, it would power up but the keys didn't work right, if at all. My husband was going to go get another phone this afternoon but then he tried it again a little while ago and it works fine! I followed your advice but not right away so I was afraid that I had ruined it. Thanks again for your help! :hi:

[hippywife]

42. More than happy to

help in any way I can, sweetie. :hug:

[Inchworm]

20. Cut it short and get a hat to match your boot

Then all the heads will turn as you pass by :)

:hi:

[Longhorn]

26. My children gave me a gift certificate to a salon for Christmas.

It seems like a waste to use it on hair that is going to disappear but maybe it's worth it as a transition. Thanks! :hi:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

21. If it were me,

I would wait a little bit...then get a really cute, short cut. Then shave. Get some bandanas in all different colors and some cool hats. If your ears are pierced start gettting some really nice big earrings. You will look fabulous! :hug:

[Longhorn]

30. I already do wear big earrings

so I've got that covered! Thanks! :hug:

[Hell Hath No Fury]

22. As someone who has lost most of her hair....

due to alopecia, I can offer some advice. :)

I would definitely buzz it, though when is really up to you. I might go short first to get yourself ready for it, then wait for buzzing until the moment arrives -- trust me, there will be a day when you look at yourself in the mirror and say, "It's time."

I have battled alopecia on and off for 20+ years -- the last "drop" was the biggest I have ever had -- fully 90% of my hair has gone, with just a little bit of black left, most of it white. I finally just buzzed it off around 2 years ago - I just got so sick of trying to hide the hair loss and worrying about what people were thinking. I do have two wigs (possums, I call them) that I use if I am going somewhere I need to dress up for - they are Raquel Welch pieces which are actually great and fairly inexpensive - I can't recommend her line enough. There are some great websites with her entire line on them for ordering. For me, I avoided scarves and hats with the little hair fringe off them because they just scream "cancer" to me -- you may feel dfferently because you are actually dealing with that. On edit: I wanted to add that wearing a wig every day was just out of the question for me -- too uncomfortable (no, they don't feel great) and I live in a very windy town, where the fear of it going airborn was just too great. Also, they can get flippin' hot. :( On edit (again): Here are thetwo wigs I have:




One thing you will notice is that without hair, it can get damn cold! But, you are also cooler when it is hot outside. If you do buzz it, be sure to protect your scalp with a hat or sunscreen on sunny days -- a sunburnt scalp does not feel good, as I found out several times. :D

Be prepared to have people react strangely to you -- even here in SF, where they are used to unusual looking people, I get a lot of looks and odd interactions. I often have people interact with me who are clearly running things through their head at the same time -- Does she have cancer?, Is she a lesbian?, What is wrong with her? They don't mean any harm, they are just confused at something out of the ordinary. I just had a very interesting expierience here with a man I have been friendly with in recent month. Since it has been winter and very cold here, I have have been wearing little knit hats every time he has seen me. Just last week it began to warm up enough where I went topless, and I happened to run into him. Oh lordy, the look on his face when he first saw me! :D Utter shock, then embarrassment, then I could tell he was doing everything in his power to not look at my (lack of) hair -- it was hysterical. I finally broke the ice about it and everything was OK. The more comfortable you are with yourself, the more comfortable they (eventually) will be.

I agree that taking control of your hair loss situation can be very empowering -- how you get there, all at once or baby steps -- is just about a comfort level.

I will try to dig up a shot of me with my buzz and post it for you!

[Longhorn]

28. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences!

Unfortunately, I couldn't get the pic links to open. I have seen the Raquel Welch wigs and thought they were very cute. I agree that there will probably be times that I'll want a wig, for the very situations you mentioned. I do think I need to ease into it.

I'll look forward to seeing your picture! Thanks again! :hug:

[Taverner]

24. Shave it, and get a tattoo on your head that says "FUCK CANCER"

Good luck my friend :hug:

[Longhorn]

27. My college students would certainly appreciate that!

:D

Thanks! :hug:

[Bake]

29. What Taverner said!

Good luck and God bless you!!

:hug:

Bake

[Longhorn]

31. Thanks!

:hug:

[latebloomer]

43. last year I was diagnosed with leukemia

and went thru several heavy rounds of inpatient chemo. In December I had a stem-cell transplant which seems-- knock wood-- to be a success!!

Shortly after my first round of chemo my hair started falling out in bunches. I went to my hair stylist and she did not shave it but buzzed it. It stayed the same buzz length, and then started to grow back when I stopped chemo for several months. Then, in preparation for the transplant, I had total body irradiation and very strong chemo. What hair I had was falling out all over the sheets, so the nursing assistant shave my head, which I regretted allowing her to do- at least with the buzz cut I had a LITTLE hair.

All along I've been wearing colorful scarves, or wool hats in the winter. I have a few fancier turban-like caps, with stretchy ribbons to tie around them, but they don't really feel like me. In the summer I occasionally went outside without a covering, but mainly to the cancer clinic. I would recommend getting your head buzzed as soon as the hair loss becomes obvious, and have some headgear at the ready. Hopefully you'll have the chemo that doesn't make you lose hair!

Hate to be negative, but I have HATED not having hair. In May it'll be a year since this shitstorm started, and only now am I starting again to get a little growth-- but I still need to cover my head, for warmth as much as anything else. It seems like a little thing in light of the disease itself, but little things can be symbolically powerful.

I feel like everybody who runs into me is aware of what I'm going thru, because who but a cancer patient wears a scarf? I feel I have no privacy. A wig might have been a good idea, but too expensive and way too hot in the summer.

The most positive thing I can say to you, Longhorn, is that you'll probably have a much quicker course of treatment and your hair should come back fast. Also, there are a lot of good websites for head coverings-- just google "chemotherapy scarves hats".

And all good wishes for a speedy and full recovery! Feel free to PM me with any question at all.

[Longhorn]

44. I appreciate you sharing your story

and I'm so happy that the stem cell transplant is working!

I agree about the lack of privacy. Right now, the only people who know I have cancer are those I have told and even they can forget -- well, not constantly be reminded -- because I don't look any different. But women, unlike men, don't usually go bald or, like you said, wear head coverings. I'm already getting a little tired of how cancer has become the center of my life and it has only been four weeks! Heck, I felt the same way when I would get asked all the time about having twins and I was thrilled about it! But some people feel like they can stop you and interview (interrogate?) you on the spot about anything that interests them. Some even act like they're doing you a favor!

I think I'll wait to see what happens and be prepared for it. I'm not sure how great a buzz cut would look on me (I haven't seen my natural color in a long time!) but I could always try it first and then shave it if I hate it. :)

Thanks so much and continued good health to you! :hug:

[applegrove]

45. Shave it all off before it falls out in honor of the winner that you will be in fighting

this thing. (((HUGS)))

[ConcernedCanuk]

46. I have a friend who had chemotherapy, he didn't lose his hair.

.
.
.

I don't know if there are different levels of chemo, or why he did not lose his hair.

That's all I got to offer, no advice, just the story.