Breaking: You will not believe this....turn on CNN

[LeftyFingerPop]

You know how the FDA has been saying for years that the 4 major food groups are as follows?

Grains and Breads
Fruits and Vegetables
Milk and Dairy
Meats

Well, they announced today that the guy who made that shit up years ago was only kidding. There is actually no health benefits at all obtained by eating from the above food groups, and in fact, they may actually HARM you. The FDA has apologized for the error, and announced the CORRECTED four major food groups as follows (in order of importance):

Weed
Pop Tarts
Codeine cough syrup
Italian bread rolls with butter

On a related note today, the Department of Weights and Measures announced that the guy that has been putting the calculators together in the factory has been drunk for the past 40 years, and he has been fucking with them as a practical joke. To correct this, please subtract 3 from every calculation you have ever done.

[BarenakedLady]

1. Yessssssssssss

:woohoo:

[Dr. Strange]

2. Pop tarts for dinner!

[graywarrior]

3. Rachel Ray's Recommendations!

[grannylib]

4. Oh golly, if only I could substitute pizza and chocolate for the cough

syrup, I'd be in heaven.
And DAMN! This means I DID get an A in statistics!!!!