Dog for sale

[Lasher]

Dog For Sale

Free to good home.

Excellent guard dog.

Owner cannot afford to feed him anymore, as there are no more thieves, murderers, or molesters left in the neighborhood for him to eat.

Most of them knew him as 'Holy Shit'.

[skygazer]

1. "For Sale - Free to a good home"

Is that anything like "free gift?"

[Lasher]

6. Kinda like an oxymoron, huh?

I was busy laughing and missed that.

[Ava]

2. that dog is HUGE

:wow:

[hobbit709]

3. Talk about a moose

You could put a saddle on him

[Lasher]

5. Hey, there's a solution to high gas prices and home protection too!

I forgot to mention he attacks mallard drakes if they try to rape the hens.

:hide:

[fizzgig]

4. holy shit is right

i don't want any pet that could eat me :rofl:

[marzipanni]

7. Here's an idea for a Halloween costume for him

I think he'd make a pretty convincing bull!

Your description of him reminds me of this joke-
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his
flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he
picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange,
disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his
flashlight out, and froze. When he heard nothing more
after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a
vacation after the next big score, then clicked the
light on and began searching for more valuables.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could
disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you."
Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically,
looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the
corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
"Did you say that?" He hissed at the parrot.
"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."
The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who do you think you are?"
"I'm Moses," replied the bird.
"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people
would name a bird Moses."
"The kind of people that would name a rottweiler Jesus." he replied.

[trof]

8. American Mastiff, I think. My daughter has one.

He weighs around 200 lbs.
He's a teddy bear.
Very gentle and patient with 5 year old Jack and 9 month old Charlotte.

[Lasher]

9. The big guys are often gentle.

They don't need to be snippy.

[xchrom]

10. aw -- so cute -- i love him.

and just seeing him on walkies with his peeps would make me say ''holy shit''.