Post why you should never be allowed to be a mod on DU.

[DarkTirade]

Me? I know I'd abuse the power. Not people. I'm generally nice to people. Just power.

For instance, I wouldn't be able to resist the urge to do goofy weird things like finding the most innocuous, innocent thread I can find (for instance the one about muppets a few posts down) and say, "Locking, sex thread."

And then when it actually was a sex thread, my locking message would be in the form of a dirty picture. Or at least a provocative one like

Locking. Sex thread.



So how would you abuse your power?

[BlueIris]

1. I would probably wind up locking every other thread.

And punctuating each lock with pithy quotes from civil rights leaders and feminist icons.

[DarkTirade]

12. Ah, but if I were a mod I'd unlock it just long enough to say something witty or smart-ass

in response to your lock...

then lock it again. :P

[Chan790]

2. Um...there's a freak flag in my sig line.

Discretion being my strong suit, I may still be the pevvyist filthiest bastard in the lounge. Someone gave a purity test and I scored a 0%. 0%! That is something to be proud of. I have a vocabulary like an over-educated rather-erudite fuckin' longshoreman. I tell inappropriate jokes, pick up women at funerals, and once dated a nun.

[Connonym]

3. oooh, I think I just fell in love

:*

[DarkTirade]

10. When you manage to combine all three of those traits,

I.E., picking up nuns at a funeral by telling inappropriate jokes, then lemme know. :P

[MissMillie]

4. How do you know I haven't already?

:hi:

[DarkTirade]

16. I suspect... but I don't have proof.

Yet.

I kid, I kid! Don't ban me bro! :P

[TZ]

5. How about two people I know who WOULD never be good mods

Can you imagine if DuStrange or temeah were mods? Nipple/Sex threads would take over the WHOLE forum, not just the Lounge....It would be Democratic Porn Underground....:rofl:

[DarkTirade]

11. Yeah, I'd never do anything like that...

I mean, nipples are great but there's the whole rest of the body to celebrate as well! :P

[fizzgig]

6. it's not so much about the power

it's about....


oooooh! let's go ride bikes

what were we talking about? :D

[DarkTirade]

14. Short attention span, yes.

I have that problem occasionally.

[Dr. Strange]

7. I hereby nominate DarkTirade for Lounge Moderator.

I would abuse my power by locking threads that I didn't find funny. Or if they didn't show proper respect towards, say, Rush. (Which means CreekDog and MrCoffee would have to stop posting.) Or if there weren't enough cleavage in the thread.

It wouldn't be pretty. (Except to me, of course.)

[DarkTirade]

19. Cleavage is important.

I mean, just look at this...



That's some damn nice cleavage right there.

[Dr. Strange]

44. I'm withdrawing my nomination.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[DarkTirade]

45. ...

:cry:

[Deep13]

8. Same reason that I censor myself on this board.

I would write what I think and apparently no one wants to see that.

[DarkTirade]

20. But if you write what you think, then the rest of us won't have to think for ourselves

and we won't have to risk pulling any muscles up there. You'd be doing us a favor, honest! I pulled the muscle in my head once. Couldn't think for DAYS. It wasn't pleasant. :P

[terrya]

9. Eh. I was a mediocre mod at best.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

15. My dear terrya!

You were not either!

I was, though...

It was a lot tougher than I expected...

I probably won't do it again...

Even if they'd have me...

:hug:

[underpants]

13. I thought that estimatedprophet's sigline picture was a giant flaming vagina on the White House

Seriously. I alerted on it.

[DarkTirade]

18. ... it wasn't?

:shrug:

[underpants]

21. it's fuzzy

[DarkTirade]

22. The Vulva of Sauron.

Huh. Doesn't quite have the same ring as 'The Eye of Sauron'.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

17. so many reasons. so little time.

[DarkTirade]

23. Hmm... trying to picture you as a mod...

I can see you being all laid back and cool and letting us get away with little things... unless somebody crossed the line. And then you would rise up with the fury of a thousand burning hot suns.

Or something like that. :P

[La Lioness Priyanka]

27. kinda. except that there are several here whom i really dislike and am pretty sure that i would not

even want to moderate.

[DarkTirade]

29. Yeah, sometimes its hard to put aside personal feelings and act in an impartial way

when you don't FEEL impartial.

That's why I generally stick with misanthropy. I dislike everyone equally! :P

[ThomCat]

56. There are a bunch of us who will never be invited to be moderators.

:P

[applegrove]

24. I'm too nice. Plus I just skim over the topics and hardly ever get involved

in an ongoing discussion.

[DarkTirade]

31. That actually might be a good thing for a mod though.

Helps you stay aloof and unbiased.

[applegrove]

57. Good point. I owe it to try and moderate. God knows I've been on here long enough.

[skygazer]

25. They'd never get me out of the moderator hot tub

:P

[DarkTirade]

33. They have a hot tub?

Hot damn, I'm applying! :P

[stuntcat]

26. fighting would get people instantly banned

Jumping on people pointlessly and for really no good reason except to share your pathetic unhappiness would get people deleted forever. I know at least 5 young men I'd wipe right out! :P

[DarkTirade]

34. In that case...

I nominate for GD-P mod status. :P

[stuntcat]

40. :headbang:

:headbang: ;) :headbang:

[krispos42]

28. I'd lock one of Skinner's posts

It would get ugly, me screaming into a vacuum and all after he bans me.

[DarkTirade]

30. That may suck for you...

but I'd wanna see that. :P

[Tikki]

32. I'd love to be a Moderator...and I'm here alot...BUT, my.....

response time is too slow. I'm still an awful lot like a Luddite when it comes to the internet.

Thank you to those who DU MOD, though...


Tikki

[DarkTirade]

35. I'm the other way around.

I can type 90+ WPM, and I can shuffle between a dozen things at once...
but I'm only around in spurts.

[flvegan]

36. I'd be an awesome Mod.

But then, I'd have to behave and be nice 'n stuff. Ain't gonna happen.

[DarkTirade]

37. I wonder if mods would be allowed to have a sockpuppet to let off steam with...

if that was the case, I'd probably end up being naughty with my sock puppet, then locking my own threads with my mod account. :P

[flvegan]

38. You being "naughty with my sock puppet"

is way TMI. Poor socks.

[DarkTirade]

39. Hey, it's consensual!

And a little bit sensual in general.

[TimeChaser]

41. Several reasons...

I mean... er... never mind :yoiks:


I hope I wasn't too bad during my time as a lounge mod. If I ever have enough free time again in the future, I may reapply... if I wasn't too horrible :hi:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

42. My dear TimeChaser!

Believe me when I tell you that you were great!

There's a lot of pressure moderating in the Lounge...

You locked so many sex threads and I knew it was getting to you...

Grace under pressure, sweetie...

That's what you were!

:hug:

[DarkTirade]

43. Wait... she locked sex threads?

Hrmph. I don't like her anymore now. :P

[CaliforniaPeggy]

48. Hey, it goes with the territory, pal...

:P

[Zavulon]

46. I would do nothing but delete copycat threads and make the creators of those threads suffer.

I have never seen a clever or funny copycat thread and would dedicate every conscious second of my mod time in an effort to put a stop to those stupid fucking things and get people to grow up.

[DarkTirade]

47. I don't do them normally...

but the last time I felt an urge to do so it was a copycat... of a thread complaining about the copycats taking up the front page.

So to poke fun at the irony of someone taking up space on the front page to complain about things taking up space on the front page, I did a copycat of that thread. :P

[KamaAina]

49. Two words: Time difference.

Can't have all you dirty-minded little Evil DUers checking your watches to see if you can squeeze in another sex thread before Kama gets up, now can we?

[DarkTirade]

52. Well now that we KNOW about it...

:evilgrin:

[Perry Logan]

50. I could never stoop to such a vile, vulgar, and unseemly task.

It also sounds REALLY hard.

[DarkTirade]

53. So if it wasn't so much work you'd be willing to stoop to such a vile, vulgar and unseemly task?

[Redstone]

51. You need to ask? Just read my posts. Issues of bad temper, everywhere you look.

Redstone

[DarkTirade]

55. I can just see it now.

Redstone taking on the newbs and trolls... leaving a trail of E-pain in his wake... :P

[GOPisEvil]

54. I'd fart in the mod's hot tub.

[DarkTirade]

59. Hot tub + bubbles = Jacuzzi!

[Guava Jelly]

58. Do I seriously need to?

:eyes:

[DarkTirade]

60. I think this thread pretty much covers it...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7624457 :P