Turn simple sentences into elaborate monstrosities sans grammatical errors

[Product of Evolution]

1.

I display my deepest gratefulness to you, most esteemed Sir Mario; however, the eldest daughter of our regent and his female spouse is located in a different stone fortification intended to serve as both residence and military base for a member of the noble class living in the medieval era.

Translation:

Thank you Mario, but our Princess is in another castle.

2.

Where may I be able to locate some Double Data Rate Synchronised Dynamic Random Access Memory to transfer from a World Wide Web or File Transfer Protocol data computational device intended to transfer related clusters of data stored together in a collective unit to other data computational devices on the global internetwork of data computational devices to my microprocessor-based data computational device compatible with the personal computer originally fabricated by International Business Machines.

Translation:

Where can I download some RAM?

[Product of Evolution]

1. kick

:kick:

I originally gave this topic a cruddy name.

[Droopy]

2. I'll try it

I'm having trouble getting the input to correspond to the frontal lobes of my brain causing confusion and overall discombobulation that I otherwise would not feel if I hadn't stumbled across this thread.

Translation: This thread is too heady for me.