tell me what your ailment is and i will heal you in the name of jesus christ of nazareth

[datasuspect]

EVIL DEMON SPIRITS COME OUT!

[Elidor]

1. It hurts when I go like this

:freak:

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

7. Then stop going like that.

[PeaceNikki]

2. I was a twin.

But I "resorbed" my twin while still in my mother's womb. I now have "the strength of a grown woman and a little baby".

No, wait, that's Dwight Schrute.



I'm cool, but thanks for the offer!! :hi:

[Parche]

3. I Have LynneSinitis

:rofl: :rofl:

:hi:

[Lil Missy]

4. I've had a serious butt ache since 2000.

[Fox Mulder]

5. My hair hurts.

[asthmaticeog]

6. I only have one ball.

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

11. Do you want more, or fewer?

:shrug:

[asthmaticeog]

14. The word "only" would seem to imply that I have too few, would it not?

:P

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

15. Actually...

The placement of the word "only" would suggest that you have mere possession of, and perhaps not phyical control over, you lonely testicle.

To convey what I take to be your meaning, you would say, "I have only one ball."

I need to drink less and get out more...

[taterguy]

8. It hurts when I pee

[Dr. Strange]

16. Take the stick out first.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

9. I keep unexpectedly transubstantiating. And it really tingles.

[bertha katzenengel]

10. i tho't i had the bunion but doc says it's only the bursitis. but

please don't have to touch it to heal it. if you touch it i will scream and rip your head off and shove it up your azz and be very, very unhappy not to mention in a great deal of pain, because how could you heal it if you ahve to touch it. if you touch it it hurts and i will have to rip your head off...

[ThomCat]

12. You're the second person to make that offer to me today.

:P

[DarkTirade]

13. I've got this rash on the inside of my thigh.

And it just won't go away.

[jmowreader]

17. Oh Hallelujah. Please Jesus Help Me!

I have a president who can't speak English and a vice-president who shoots people. I'm trying to remove the mote from my own eye, but it's stuck. Help me!

[Connonym]

18. ennui

help please. Or don't help, I don't care

[Chan790]

19. celibacy.

Temporary, involuntary celibacy.