What book(s) do you hope are NEVER made into a movie?

[TZ]

Thinking about this because to me, USUALLY movies made from books are much worse than the book.
I hear that HBO is filming on George RR Martins "A Song of Fire and Ice" and I can't help but worry about that, it being on of my favorite epics. The other two series I hope are never made into movies are anything from Marion Zimmer Bradley's Darkover series or Terry Pratchett's "Discworld".

[corporatemedia]

1. My Pet Goat

[Hand]

9. Dang! Ya beat me to it! nt

[mainegreen]

2. Schild's Ladder

Interesting book.

Would make a craptacular movie though

link

[BeachBaby]

3. Bill Clinton's "My Life". :-) n/t.

[madinmaryland]

10. That might be an interesting movie, though. OTOH, I don't think I would

have the six continuous months to watch it!!

[Perry Logan]

56. I wish people would stop screwing up fun threads with anti-Clinton shit.

Heaven forbid we should enjoy a laugh together.

[BeachBaby]

57. Ummmm......anti-Clinton?

I was one of his biggest fans, and worked the local headquarters for his 1992 campaign.

I was referencing the length of the book - which I own. It's LOOOOONNNNNNGGGGG.

Thanks for jumping to conclusions.:yoiks:

[pokerfan]

4. The Stars My Destination - Alfred Bester

http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117940125.html?categoryid=13&cs=1">A movie version of The Stars My Destination is in the works

[Arkham House]

25. Maybe--with a young Sean Connery, a script by Harlan Ellison...

...and David Lynch directing...but these days?...:-(...

[pokerfan]

41. Harlan would be good

but could Hollywood avoid the temptation to transform one of the most interesting anti-heroes in sf literature into some kind of traditional hero?

[WinkyDink]

5. The Quran; The Congressional Record; Scooter's bear-rapist epic.

[avasmom]

76. i own scooter's horrid book

its much worse than folks realize, i think...

the nasty subject matter doesn't even compare to the HORRID WRITING.

[Fox Mulder]

6. I was just thinking I hope they don't turn George R.R. Martin's books into movies.

Hollywood will destroy them. x(

I also hope they don't turn the Wheel of Time series into movies. They'd be too long and boring.

[KatyMan]

27. um

They'd be too long and boring.

Like the books????

[Fox Mulder]

37. Yep.

[LDB]

67. even if they did it right

imagine the casting nightmare they'd have trying to portray everyone. Eddard? Dany? Arya? Hound? Caitlin? ..... not to mention the cast of hundreds of other "main characters", many of whom are kids who kill. Then there's the problem of How many films? One for each book? Series of 7 or eight films depending on when the saga even ends.

I like the series a lot and wish GRRM would get the next one out already but to do these in films? Probably not a good idea given the nature of the material and the fans.

[OmahaBlueDog]

7. "Opus Pistorum" by Henry Miller

Moviemakers would just mess it up.

[applegrove]

8. I'd love to see a movie made out of "God's Little Bits of Wood" - an african novel.

It is so visual - it would make a great film.

[DS1]

11. ebay for Dummies

[Deja Q]

12. I'm so glad nobody made novels out of "The Jeffersons" or "Diff'rent Strokes"

:hide:

[JVS]

53. LOL!

I think the story of George and Wheezy needs to be adapted to the Icelandic saga style.

[NoPasaran]

13. Robert's Rules of Order, 2004 Revised Edition

[Bicoastal]

14. "The Catcher in the Rye"

Starring Shia LaBeouf.

[johnnie]

15. Everyone poops

[JVS]

52. Cinematic masterpiece!

[Rhythm]

16. Any of the illustrious "Captain Underpants" series... n/t

[Liberal Veteran]

17. The Silmarillion

Ugh x 1000.

[pokerfan]

31. They could dramatize some of the stories

The tale of Luthien and Beren, for one.

From rec.arts.books.tolkien, dated 19 April - 24 April 1997.

Luthien vs. Arwen - Who was the better babe?

Posted by O. Sharp:

Let's start with Luthien... along with being the "fairest child of Elves or Men", the daughter of a Maia, and the most accomplished singer of all time, she also loved her man so much as to be willing to knock out her guards and leave home and face down Sauron and beat Sauron's sorry ass just to stand by him. She was willing to go with him straight to Thangorodrim itself, put one over on Morgoth(!), and even after all that still cared for him so much that she was willing to go to Mandos and talk the Valar into bringing Beren back to life. Let's face it: Luthien Tinuviel was one hot thoroughly accomplished scared-o-nothin' clever-as-hell broad.

Now, let's look at Arwen... According to Return of the King appendices A and B, Aragorn first met Arwen and fell in love with her in T.A. 2951 - but Arwen wouldn't even give him the time of day until twenty-nine years later. Her father, Elrond, made it clear that she wasn't gonna marry Aragorn unless he became the Ruler of Gondor and Arnor; and when Aragorn joined the Fellowship and went forth on the hopeless mission to overthrow Sauron, did Arwen help him, as Luthien helped Beren? No! She stayed at home and read magazines until the War was already down to the last gasp, and even then she refused to show up herself but just sent all of Aragorn's friends south to offer all the moral support instead! Oh, sure, once all the dirty work was already done, then she shows up - probably carried all the way there in a sedan chair by some sweating oafish admirers - to finally say, "Ohhhh, Aragorn! Now that you've become the king of several hundred thousand acres of prime real-estate and defeated all of our dire enemies, suddenly you look much more handsome", and in the blink of an eye she's all ready to say the hell with what Dad thinks and marry him. ...Put it all together and what have you got? A cheap, greedy, standoffish gold-digging trollop.

Luthien or Arwen? Come on! Stop kidding around. The "fairest child of Elves or Men" wins hands down. If you're going to give us a contest, at least make it a relatively fair one... like, say, the favorite "who-would-win" contest from last year:

Arwen -vs- Eowyn: Mud-Wrestling For The Hand of Aragorn! :)

[Firespirit]

54. Ah, Tolkien

I love his stuff but I have to look past the rampant sexism. Product of his era, deeply Catholic, old-fashioned... but still, yeesh.

Although if you ask me, Luthien and Beren were freakin' morans for hunting down the stone when they could have just made a run for it and lived somewhere outside psycho-daddy's kingdom. Honorable, no... smart, hell yes, and anyway I figure they don't owe honorable treatment to someone who obviously wanted the dude to get himself killed. :P

[pokerfan]

61. "You want me to do what?"

"Steal some rocks from whom? Oh fuck that!"

Seriously, if she goes along with that, then she's as nuts as her old man, errr... elf. No elven maiden (hood) is worth that. If she doesn't, then you both split. Pure logic that even Spock would appreciate.

Now, can you answer the biggest Middle Earth question for me? Who buried Arwen? Wolves?

http://www.freewebs.com/aniron-undomiel/taleofaragornandarwen.htm">The Tale of Aragorn and Arwen

[LDB]

66. not wolves

There were still elves left in Middle Earth in the fourth age and afterwards. Not all of them sailed to the uttermost West.

[muriel_volestrangler]

18. Too late for 'Discworld'

2 live action adaptations:

Hogfather
The Colour of Magic

Animated:

Wyrd Sisters
Soul Music

[ThomCat]

26. Were they any good?

I can't believe I have never heard that Terry Pratchet books were made into tv shows! :wow:

[Withywindle]

29. 'Hogfather' is.

That's the only one I've seen. I thought they did as good a job as possible, considering how much of Pratchett's humor is verbal and doesn't necessarily translate well to film. (My sort-of-ex-SO just saw the movie with no prior knowledge of Pratchett, and liked it so much he immediately started reading the books and loved them, so I take that as a thumbs-up.)

Haven't seen 'The Colour of Magic' yet, but it has Jeremy Irons as Vetinari, which is certainly promising...

[muriel_volestrangler]

36. Good - because I gave the DVD of it to my niece for Christmas

without actually having seen it - just hoped that the quality of people, and Pratchett's apparent involvement, was good enough.

As far as Pratchett's humour being verbal goes - I just heard a thing on the radio about the art of footnotes, and it said that Pratchett may have been the first person ever to have footnotes in the middle of a stage play. He (with another writer) has adapted some of the books for the stage, and when he wanted a footnote, he'd have a bell ring, and then a woman would come on in the middle of the scene, dressed as Marilyn Monroe, with an asterisk sign, and say the footnote. And when he wanted a footnote to the footnote (as he quite often does), someone else would come on dressed as an old crone, with a different sound and sign, and say that footnote. Very Pratchett, I thought.

[Pithlet]

60. I'm a big fan. I would have loved to have seen that.

I haven't seen the movies, yet. They're definitely on my list.

[tekisui]

19. Life of Pi.

[MonkeyFunk]

48. already in the works

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0454876/

[tekisui]

20. On the Road.

Hell, any Kerouac or Brautigan.

[otherlander]

22. That would suck.

Hell, that would make me even sadder than when they did the Motorcycle Diaries movie.

[cemaphonic]

21. the threatened Ridley Scott "Blood Meridian"

Until they find a way to reanimate Sam Peckinpaw, nobody should adapt that book.

In the Too Late category, "Watchmen" is in post-production now. You would think that when Terry Gilliam is of the opinion that a project is just not practical, people would take notice.

[YankeyMCC]

23. I'm a sucker for movies of books I love

to often I get sucked in and get disappointed but in the hands of a talented film team a good book can lead to a good movie. I'm usually not bothered by differences in plot and even character as long as the theme and spirit honor the theme and spirit of the book and I take the movie for what it is - a different way of telling a similar story an entity to be judged and enjoyed on it's own separate from the book.

The LoTR movies from Peter Jackson are a great example. Many differences that make the movies and epic unto themselves, some of the characters (all maybe to one extent or another) are clearly different from the book and although but they are still good characters it just means the movie is something different altogether.

Saying all that however, I recently heard news that Dan Simmon's Hyperion Cantos has been taken up by a studio and looks fairly likely to be made into a movie in the next couple of years. But one rumor is that they are going to condense all four books into 1 movie - unless that movie is 8 hours long that worries me a great deal! :) But I loved the books and they're likely to get at least the price of one ticket out of me when the movie comes out.

I've always said I'd love to see Asimov's Foundation series made into a series of movies, but they would Have to be very very different and I'm not confident anyone could do it well. Similar to the Robot Novels (not the I, Robot thing that came out a couple years back, I mean more faithful "Caves of Steel" thru "Robots of Dawn" treatment.

[Arkham House]

24. The Foundation Novels

...sorry--just can't imagine it being done right...

[grannylib]

28. "Mrs DeWinter" the non-Daphne DuMarier sequel to "Rebecca"

Of course, in the movie of Rebecca, they changed the ending of the book, so I don't think it would be possible, thank goodness...one of the main characters in the book sequel was killed off in the movie "Rebecca" (which didn't happen in the book of the same title)

[Withywindle]

30. Almost anything by John Crowley.

He's one of my favorite writers in the world, but so much of the beauty of his books is in the sensuous reflectiveness of his writing style. They're not exactly action-packed pageturners.

[QueenOfCalifornia]

32. The Last Temptation Of Christ

novel written by Nikos Kazantzakis.

What?

You mean Scorsese was high and decided it was a real good idea?

Oh....

Never mind.

[XemaSab]

33. The Secret History

With Gwyneth Paltrow as Camilla. :scared:

And CERTAINLY not with Carrot Top as Francis. :scared::scared:

[Diana Prince]

34. "Five Smooth Stones" by Ann Fairbairn

One of the most powerful books I have ever read.

[trof]

35. British Aviation Law

There are some good parts, but the whole plot line would really be impossible.

[BlueJazz]

38. Cat in the Hat.......Mouse in a House.....Dog on a Log

[femmocrat]

40. Too late for "Cat in the Hat."

A really dreadful movie.

[femmocrat]

42. Walter, the Farting Dog.

Seriesly! :eyes:

[drmeow]

39. That novel by Lynne Cheney n/t

[MilesColtrane]

43. "The Room" by Hubert Selby

It is the ONLY book I've ever destroyed after reading.

[mitchum]

65. The movie of his "Last Exit To Brooklyn" was fucking horrible...

in my opinion, it's the best novel of the past 50 years, but the filmmakers totally screwed up the adaptation.
"The Room" is not very good. I understand what he was trying to do with the book, but it is indeed his weakest work. Just one scene after another of depravity and degradation without the underlying compassion found in his better work.

[Lilith Velkor]

44. The Dragonriders of Pern.

[TZ]

45. They tried to.

But Anne McCaffrey took one look at the script and said "absolutely not!"

[Lilith Velkor]

47. Good for her

I'm already pissed off enough that they're making one of Watchmen. There's just no way to do it justice.

[Lady Freedom]

51. They cut to much and wanted to add from the other books in the series.

P.S they need to update the book lists on here site!http://www.annemccaffrey.net/index.php

[MrSlayer]

46. Lord of the Rings.

I just know they will butcher the story, ignore prominent characters and add a meaningless love interest.

[Orrex]

62. Look on the bright side

They might get rid of 10,000 pages of walking uneventfully through the forest, and they might not leave the viewer wondering "Who the hell are Tom Bombadil and Goldberry?" and "Why the hell didn't Glorfindel help out a little more?"

[MonkeyFunk]

49. Everyone Poops

[csziggy]

50. Anything by L. Ron Hubbard

oh - damn. Too late. Nevermind....

[FunkyLeprechaun]

55. Hey you should see the Hogfather

While I admittedly haven't read the book yet, my fiance says that it was quite faithful to the book. Some wonderful British actors in the movie.

[KamaAina]

58. This one

[TZ]

59. heh

Might make a good horror flick....:)

[Jade Fox]

64. Up until now.....

I was blissfully unaware this book existed. Good-bye, innocence! ;)

Naturally, Bush is smirking in the cover photo. And what is going on with his right hand?. That title makes no damn sense.

[Neoma]

63. All of them will eventually, it's hopeless.

[Deja Q]

68. "The Joy of Cooking"

TV seems to do that often enough; who'd pay to see Rachel Ray on the big screen? Mind you, she's larger than life and so is her fabulous body... :D

/oink

[bikebloke]

69. The phone book

A lot of character, but no much plot.


...yeah, that was an awful quip. Sorry. :spank:

[avasmom]

72. my unique kids

when my son was six years old, he had out the flashlight at bedtime- reading (top bunk, ava was bottom bunk- shared a room in a small apartment while i was in law school). because they shared the room, i told him to put the flashlight away... then noticed something weird. he was reading THE PHONE BOOK. i asked him "why in the world are you reading the phone book?"

"it makes me sleepy," was his response.

so i asked him "do you like the numbers or the names better?"

he said, "neither one. i like the addresses."


:shrug:

[Paladin]

70. "Atlas Shrugged"

Ayn Rand's masterwork is an unspeakable piece of hateful, money-worshipping shit. A movie of that fetid book would engage and empower the very worst elements of our society. No thank you......

[avasmom]

71. its a damn good book, though

and i'd hate to see it in movie form for the same reasons...

dagney is one of the earliest STRONG SMART female heroines in literature...

nearly every good book has been trashed in a movie of some sort.

[OmahaBlueDog]

74. I kinda hate to tell you this

http://www.atlasthefilm.com/

[avasmom]

75. DAMMIT

go and ruin our illusion...

i'd rather see what bollywood could do with it!

(please, god, don't let angelina jolie play dagney... argh!) http://www.baldwinent.com/

[mitchum]

77. Galt's 60 page screed promises to be...uh...uh...riiveting on the screen

I only hope it will be a camp classic on the level of King Vidor's "The Fountainhead"
Something tells me it will be...

[sakabatou]

73. *'s "auto"biography