My mom passed away last night

[SharonRB]

I haven't been around the lounge much lately, but just wanted to let those of you who know me know. She's been at home in hospice for the last two months, and it's been quite a roller coaster ride since the beginning of the year when she was diagnosed. She then was on a respirator for 10 days with sepsis and was given a week to live. She beat that and then came home to hospice for almost two months. It's been rough, but now she's at peace.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

1. i am so sorry for your loss.

much hugs and kisses and best wishes. :hug:

please let us know if there is anything we can do for you.

[SharonRB]

7. Thanks, Lioness

I appreciate your thoughts and wishes.

[SeattleGirl]

2. My heartfelt condolences to you and your family, Sharon.

I know too well what you have been through, and now I wish you as much peace and comfort as possible.

And may your mother rest well.

:hug:

[SharonRB]

8. Thanks, SG

She's joining your mom now. There's been way too much death around here lately -- both human and four-legged.

:hug:

[snacker]

3. I'm so sorry for your loss.

May she rest in peace.

[SharonRB]

Thank you, snacker.

[Debi]

4. Sorry for your loss

:hug:

[SharonRB]

10. Thanks, Debi.

[lightningandsnow]

5. So sorry.

You are in my thoughts.

:hug:

[SharonRB]

11. Thanks, AspieGrrl

[MrScorpio]

6. My condolences to you and your family

May she rest in peace.

:hug:

[SharonRB]

13. Thank you, MrScorpio

I still hope to see you here in Detroit sometime if you visit.

[MrScorpio]

26. I'm coming back to Michigan to live

This coming weekend we're coming out to Macomb county to find a place to live.

[SharonRB]

40. Cool!

We'll have to plan a DU meetup to welcome you back to the mitten state. If you wind up in the 12th district, you'll be in my district, although I'm in the Oakland County part.

[auntAgonist]

9. Sharon, I'm so sorry for your loss.

It's hard losing your mother, I know. I hope and pray that the fondest of memories fill your heart at this time.

:hug:

kesha.

[SharonRB]

15. Thanks so much, auntAgonist

[GCP]

12. My sincere condolences

R.I.P

[SharonRB]

16. Thank you.

[graywarrior]

14. I'm so sorry to hear this, SharonRB

[SharonRB]

17. Thanks, graywarrior.

[Spacemom]

18. My sympathy to you and your family

Peace, Light, Love :hug:

[SharonRB]

43. Thanks, Spacemom.

[hedgehog]

19. I'm sorry to hear your news.

[SharonRB]

44. Thank you, hedgehog.

[lost-in-nj]

20. I am so sorry

I know exactly what you went through.... I did to....

I hope you find comfort and peace...
Safe journey to your mom....


:hug:



lost

[SharonRB]

45. Thanks so much, lost-in-nj

and my thoughts are with you and your family as well.

:hug:

[Bennyboy]

21. Wow, I am putting my dad in hospice if and when he

gets out of the hospital.

Sorry for your loss, it is very very difficult.

[SharonRB]

46. Thanks, Bennyboy

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as well. I hope your father doesn't suffer too much.

:hug:

[Redstone]

22. It's never easy, losing a parent. Whether it drags out or happens quickly. Please accept my

condolences.

Redstone

[SharonRB]

47. Thanks, Redstone

It's been a difficult few months, but we had her around two more months than we expected to when she had sepsis in late January and early February. We had some wonderful moments during those two months and I'm glad my last memory of her isn't seeing her on the respirator and with no communication.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

23. I'm so sorry for your loss

Love and prayers are coming your way. I know what it's like to lose a beloved mother.

[SharonRB]

48. Thanks so much, dtbk.

[NJmaverick]

24. Sorry for your loss

[SharonRB]

49. Thanks, nomad1776.

[bigwillq]

25. I am very sorry for your loss.

:hug:

[SharonRB]

50. Thanks, bigwillq

I appreciate it.

[PassingFair]

27. Just heard from you, Sharon...

You did everything a daughter could do to
usher your mother to the other side.

I hope your grief is soon blanketed with
appreciation for the good life she led, and
the things that she taught you about living.

--Patty

[SharonRB]

51. Thanks, PF

It has helped to have friends who care, even though many of them have been in cyberspace. I'm glad you're one I know in the real world. Hope to see you and MrsG sometime this week.

[crispini]

28. Awwwwwwwwwwwww.

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

[SharonRB]

53. Thanks so much, crispi

Right back atcha.

[Xipe Totec]

29. En Paz (Artifex vitae, artifex sui)

At Peace (Architect of life, Architect of Destiny)

As my dusk approaches, I bless thee, Life,
for you never gave me failed hope,
or unjust work, or undeserved punishment;
for I see at the end of my rugged journey
that I was the architect of my destiny;
if I drew the sweetness or aloes from things,
it was because I put into them bitter bile, or sweet honey:
when I planted rose bushes, I always harvested roses.

True, to my youth Winter will come:
But you never promised me that May would be eternal!
No doubt I found my nights of sorrow to be long;
but you never promised me only good nights;
and yet I had some that were blessedly serene...
I loved, and I was loved, the sun stroked my face.
Life, you owe me nothing! Life, we are at peace!

- Amado Nervo

[SharonRB]

54. Thank you for that beautiful poem

:hug:

[LaurenG]

30. Oh I am so sorry to hear this

my sincerest condolences to you and your family. :hug:

[SharonRB]

56. Thanks, OhioBlues

I hope all is well with you.

[Haole Girl]

31. Sorry for your loss

It sounds like you've been through a horrible roller coaster ride, indeed. Remember to take care of yourself, okay? :hug:

[SharonRB]

57. Yes, it has been quite a ride

I can now start taking care of myself. It's been difficult these last few months because I've been with my mother so much after work everyday.

[IntravenousDemilo]

32. I am sorry about the sadness you've had to go through, and I feel bad about your loss.

Losing a parent is never easy, even if it has meant an end to suffering. My thoughts are with you. :hug:

[SharonRB]

58. Thanks for your kind thoughts, IntravenousDemilo

[Midlodemocrat]

33. Deepest condolences, SharonRB.

May she rest in peace. :hug:

[SharonRB]

59. Thanks, Midlo

And thanks for the PM and the poem.

[nuxvomica]

34. A poem for you, SharonRB, and for all the caregivers

I wrote this after my father's months-long struggle:

After he fell
We created schedules.

Each week was carved
into three sections,
one for each of us.
So we who accepted the truth
Could be there during the day
to help out
to tote and carry.
to ensure the pills were taken
to watch for symptoms
to watch for signs
to look for changes with squinted eyes
and careful questions.

“All the most important jobs
Are left to amateurs.”

But the experts helped us
With nursing care
With counsel
With all the prescriptions and paraphernalia
That are the special transient property of the very ill.

We struggled with the servitude
The lost time
The many odd and ferocius arguments.

We had not fought so much before
Nor bared are hearts so casually
Nor laughed so hard
Nor talked so boldly of death so much.

It's like a family is a long and complicated project
Where all the easy tasks are done first
And the toughest ones are put off for last
Without much left in time and resources
until finally
when we’re not even sure we’ve finished

we are done

and the deliverable is released
into the waiting hands
of the universe.

Peace to you and your family. :hug:

[SharonRB]

60. Thank you -- that's beautiful

and so true. I'm glad we never had any of the fights, though. Maybe it's because we're a small family. My mother had many, many friends taking turns coming to stay with her so my father could get out a bit during the day, and I always went there after work to help with dinner -- feeding her for a few weeks and then just helping once she was able to feed herself when she got the use of her hands back. This past week when she stopped eating, I was there to have dinner with my father each night. Now we all have to try to get back to normal and what will become new routines. After burying her in Israel, my father will be there until the end of the month and then he, too, will start building a new life without her. Ironically, he has started on that path because he had to learn to do so much while she's been ill -- laundry, shopping, preparing food (I won't even call it cooking, but at least I know he won't starve).

[redwitch]

35. I am sorry for your loss.

I am glad your mom doesn't have to suffer anymore and I wish you and all who loved her wonderful, happy memories. :hug:

[SharonRB]

61. Thanks, redwitch

I'm thankful she actually didn't have too much pain throughout the entire ordeal. She was very lucky.

[ThomCat]

36. Sharon! Oh No!

:hug:

I am so sorry that it was such a rollercoaster. I hope you are okay.

Now that she is at peace, I hope you find are at peace with yourself and everything you have gone through.
:hug:

[SharonRB]

62. Thanks, ThomCat

and I hope you are doing well these days.

:hug:

[libnnc]

37. I am so sorry

Please accept my deepest sympathies for your loss. My partner's mother passed away at hospice in December.

My thoughts are with you and your family. :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[SharonRB]

63. Thanks, libnnc

And my condolences to your partner and her family.

[NC_Nurse]

38. I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm glad she's at peace.

:hug:

[SharonRB]

65. Thanks, NC_Nurse

[KT2000]

39. I'm sorry

moms are so important and we have so many memories with them. Peace to you.

[SharonRB]

66. Thanks, KT2000

Unfortunately sometimes it takes losing them to realize that.

[greenbriar]

41. thinking of you

:grouphug:

[SharonRB]

67. Thanks, greenbriar

[Tuesday Afternoon]

42. My condolences on the loss of your Mother, SharonRB.

May she rest in peace. :hug:

[SharonRB]

68. Thanks, Tuesday Afternoon

[maddezmom]

52. my thoughts are with you

:hug:

[SharonRB]

69. Thanks, maddezmom

[mikita]

55. So sorry for your loss...

My mom was under hospice care for 4 months and died at the end of December. I was left with 2 wonderful feelings -- one was that the Hospice personnel were some of the most compassionate and caring people I've ever been exposed to, and I was grateful that my mom could have that experience as she left this world. The other was that I can now think abuot her and not have to worry about her. I hope you find the same comfort as time passes.

:hug: Mikita

[SharonRB]

70. Thanks, mikita

I'm so sorry for your loss as well. You are so right about the hospice people -- I don't know how they do it, day after day, year after year. They are the most caring people I've ever met -- from the doctor down to the aide who came to clean my mother up everyday. I don't know how they get to know so many people and then lose them one by one.

[lildreamer316]

64. Sorry for your loss..

and lots of love to you and your family.:grouphug:

[SharonRB]

71. Thanks so much, lildreamer.

[SalmonChantedEvening]

72. My condolences SharonRB

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Warm thoughts and hopes for strength and healing of spirit.

:hug: :loveya: :hug:

Bless her memory always.

[SharonRB]

90. Thanks for your thoughts, SalmonChantedEvening

[grannylib]

73. I'm so sorry to hear that, but I'm glad you had the support of hospice

during her final days. I found them to be angels on earth when my dad died a few years ago.
You have my sympathies...I hope you can be at peace with her death, and that you have many memories of happier, healthier times to sustain you as you mourn her passing.
:hug:

[SharonRB]

91. Thanks, grannylib

Yes, the hospice people were amazing -- I don't know how we would have gotten through this without them.

[I Have A Dream]

74. I'm sorry, Sharon. Please take care of yourself. RIP mother of Sharon.

:(

:hug:

[SharonRB]

92. Thanks I Have A Dream

[zanne]

75. I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time.

My condolences to you and your family. Losing your mother is hard. :hug:

[SharonRB]

93. Yes, it is

Harder than I ever would have imagined. Thanks, zanne.

[WinkyDink]

76. {{{SharonRB}}}, you have my sincere condolences on the loss of your mother. I'm very sorry.

[SharonRB]

94. Thanks, WinkyDink

[Mezzo]

77. I can't tell you ow sorry I am for your loss.

I hope you find peace, and comfort sometime real soon.


:hug:

[SharonRB]

95. Thanks, Mezzo

[Bunny]

78. Oh, I'm so sorry.

Take care. :hug:

[SharonRB]

96. Thanks, Bunny

[Pushed To The Left]

79. I'm very sorry to hear about your loss, SharonRB

:hug:

[SharonRB]

97. Thanks, Pushed to the Left

[SPKrazy]

80. Sorry for your loss SharonRB

:hug:

sounds like she was a fighter and it's been rough as you said.

May she rest in peace and good vibes to you and yours.

:hug:

[SharonRB]

98. Thanks, Southpawkicker

Yes, she was very strong and hung on as long as she could.

[Cabcere]

81. Aw, Sharon...

:hug: My condolences to you and your family on the loss of your mother. :pals: Peace be with you all.

[SharonRB]

99. Thanks, Cabcere

[shaniqua6392]

82. I am so sorry for your loss Sharon!!

God bless you and your family.

[SharonRB]

100. Thanks, shaniqua

[kineneb]

83. my condolences

I have just lost a loved one, too. Hang in there.

[SharonRB]

102. Thanks, kineneb

I'm sorry for your loss as well. :hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

84. I am so sorry Sharon...

I will keep you in my thoughts.

Love,
Laura

[SharonRB]

104. Thanks, sweetie -- you're always in mine

I hope to see you and PF sometime this week. I spoke to her this afternoon and she said she'd give you a call. I hope you're doing okay. :hug:

[Lydia Leftcoast]

85. Deepest sympathy, Sharon

:hug:

[SharonRB]

105. Thanks, Lydia

[Blue_In_AK]

86. Sharon, I'm so sorry...

My condolences to you and your family. I know how rough this is having gone through lengthy illnesses with both my parents before they passed away.

[SharonRB]

106. Thanks, Blue_In_AK

[Starbucks Anarchist]

87. I'm so sorry for your loss, Sharon.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[SharonRB]

107. Thanks, Starbucks Anarchist

[Rhiannon12866]

88. Oh, my friend, I am so very sorry...

I still have my mother, but lost my Dad, who I was closest to. My mother is hard on me, but my Dad loved me, unconditionally. I sometimes wish that we'd done Hospice for him, but he wouldn't have liked it, as was done for my uncle, his brother, but my Dad was a very private person. But the last night of his life I spent with him and he told me that he loved me. I will always treasure that, and you must also hang on to similar memories of your Mom. She loved you and will always be with you. I've felt that with my Dad and you will too.. I'm sending you positive karma and lots of love, my friend. I've been where you are, and my heart breaks for you... Lots of hugs and call on me, anytime.

Rhiannon;(:hug:

[SharonRB]

108. Thanks, Rhiannon

Hospice was wonderful -- although it was hard on all of us having her home, it was the best decision we could have made. It would have been even more difficult if she had been at a hospice facility, I think. She was surrounded by people who loved her, who might not have been around as much had she not been at home.

By all rights she should have died in early February, but she somehow managed to beat the sepsis infection she contracted despite her weakened condition. She gave us two more months with her, which, although difficult, we'll never forget. There were some very bright moments during those two months and she was never in too much pain, which is a blessing.

:hug:

[Rhiannon12866]

139. You're more than welcome, my friend. I share and understand your loss.

We didn't do that for my Dad. It was unexpected, though I guess it shouldn't have been. But he was a proud and private person and would probably have considered it an intrusion. But it sounds like you made exactly the right decision for your Mom and it worked as well as anything could have...

nuxvomica, who I'm close to, have known forever, lost his Dad last year and went through much the same thing. He remained at home, with the help of Hospice, and he said that the time he spent with his Dad helped him, as well, worked out the rough parts of their relationship, and brought the whole family closer and a lot of peace.

Peace to you, my friend.

Rhiannon:hug:

[LeftyFingerPop]

89. My condolences Sharon. I'm very sorry...

:hug:

[SharonRB]

109. Thanks, philboy

[FloridaJudy]

101. My condolences.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom. I'm glad you had hospice: they were a great help to my mother at the end.

:hug:

[SharonRB]

111. Thanks, FloridaJudy

I don't know what people did before there was such a thing as hospice. I think it would have been far worse had they tried to treat what was untreatable. Chemo and other strong treatments wouldn't have cured her, and I think they would have made her feel sicker in the long run and possibly hastened her death.

[BOSSHOG]

103. Love You My Dear

My Mom died 42 years ago and not a day goes by I do not think of her fondly. I have a picture of her in my wallet and in my office. I hope you have the opportunity to celebrate her life throughout yours.

[SharonRB]

112. Thanks, BOSSHOG

That's a wonderful sentiment.

[GOPisEvil]

110. My sincere condolences.

[SharonRB]

113. Thanks, GOPisEvil

[sicksicksick_N_tired]

114. How are you?

She is at peace.

How are you?

As a caregiver for a,...long dying father,...I must ask,...

How are you?

[SharonRB]

116. I'm okay

Sad, but okay. Now I need to get back to whatever "normal" is. And start exercising again. I've gained 15 pounds this winter, not having time to exercise at all and eating more than usual. I was at my mom's everyday after work, which is the time of day I normally would have been exercising. Time to get back to taking care of myself.

[TK421]

115. I am sorry for your loss....it does get easier to deal with over time

I lost my father back in '97, and all I can say is that time heals all wounds....:thumbsup: hang in there

[SharonRB]

117. Thanks, TK421

I know it's something we all have to go through, but four months ago, I never thought it was something I'd be going through anytime soon.

[Shine]

118. My deepest sympathies to your and your family, Sharon.

:hug: I'm glad to know you were able to use hospice services. She was definitely in good hands. I've done volunteering with our local hospice for years. It's a wonderful organization. :hug:

[SharonRB]

120. Thanks, Shine

Yes, it is.

[merh]

119. My condolences, Sharon

:hug:

You and yours are in my prayers. :pals:

[SharonRB]

121. Thanks, merh

I hope you're doing well these days. :hug:

[TexasBushwhacker]

122. I've ridden that roller coaster

Take care of yourself. You've been through a lot.

[SharonRB]

124. Thanks, TexasBushwhacker

Yes, it's been far more than Bette Davis' bumpy night. It's been a bumpy year so far. Now I have to see if I can remember how to live a normal life.

[quiet.american]

123. My sincerest condolences to you, SharonRB. nt

[SharonRB]

125. Thanks, quiet.american.

[Sugar Smack]

126. Sharon, I'm sorry.

May she rest in peace. You will be in my thoughts. I know it's been hard.

[SharonRB]

128. Thanks, Sugar Smack

:hug:

[Sugar Smack]

130. Just be sure you get a little time for yourself,

but let your friends take care of you as well, okay? :hug:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

127. I'm sorry for your loss...

and glad that your mom no longer suffers. :hug:

[SharonRB]

129. Thanks, GoddessOfGuinness

Knowing she's no longer suffering is the one thing that helps.

[soleft]

131. Wishing you and your family much comfort and peace

[SharonRB]

145. Thanks, soleft

[Maddy McCall]

132. I am so very sorry, Sharon.

:hug:

[SharonRB]

146. Thanks, Maddy

[Brigid]

133. I'm so sorry to hear that, Sharon.

Please accept my condolences and this :hug: .

[SharonRB]

147. Thank you, Brigid

[fizzgig]

134. sleep well, mamaRB

my love to you and yours, sharon :hug:

[SharonRB]

148. Thanks, kagehime

Sleep could have been better, but I did get some of it.

[Bullwinkle925]

135. There are no words to really address what you're going through . . .

just know that there are people here with huge shoulders!

[SharonRB]

149. Awww, thanks Bullwinkle

Nice picture!

[QMPMom]

136. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I lost my Dad 2 months ago and still feel hollow inside.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[SharonRB]

150. Thanks, QMPMom

I'm so sorry for your recent loss as well. :hug:

[GreenPartyVoter]

137. I'm so sorry *hugs*

[SharonRB]

151. Thanks, GPV

[The Straight Story]

138. Damn, been there before myself

I don't even know what to say. It has to be hard and I hope you do ok.

[SharonRB]

152. Thanks, Straight Story

I know it's hard to know what to say, but I appreciate your kind thoughts.

[laylah]

140. I am so sorry for your loss. nt

[SharonRB]

153. Thanks, laylah

[Connonym]

141. My sympathies

Losing a parent is very painful. :hug: Wishing you peace in your heart.

[SharonRB]

154. Thanks, Connonym

[alphafemale]

142. So very sorry.

:hug:

[SharonRB]

155. Thanks, alphafemale

[Lady Freedom]

143. To: SharonRB

[sarge43]

144. Condolences, SharonRB

She is at peace and her sweet memory will be with you always. :hug:

[SharonRB]

156. Thanks, sarge43

Yes, it will.

[Brewman_Jax]

157. My condolences

Good to you from me and the cat.

[SharonRB]

162. Thanks, Lurking_Argyle

[peekaloo]

158. Condolences.

I went through a similar situation with my mother last May.

Strength to you and your family.

:hug:

[SharonRB]

163. Thanks, peekaloo

And my condolences to you and your family as well.

[In_The_Wind]

159. I'm sorry for your loss, SharonRB.

We've missed you. :hug:

[SharonRB]

164. Thanks, Joan

I've been spending most of my DU time in the Countdown group and the Michigan forum.

[RFKHumphreyObama]

160. My deepest, sincerest and most heartfelt thoughts, prayers, condolences and sympathies

are extended to you, your family and all of your mother's family and friends on your mother's loss. Having lost my mother just under a year ago, I know some of what you are going through and my heart aches for you and your loss

May your mother rest in peace and once again my deepest condolences and sympathies to you and your family:hug: :hug:

I'll include a poem that has given me great comfort since my mother's loss and which we actually read out at my mother's memorial service

I Am Standing On The Sea Shore
Bishop Brent

I am standing on the sea shore,
A ship sails in the morning breeze and starts for the ocean.
She is an object of beauty and I stand watching her
Till at last she fades on the horizon and someone at my side says:
"She is gone." Gone! Where? Gone from my sight - that is all.
She is just as large in the masts, hull and spars as she was when I saw her
And just as able to bear her load of living freight to its destination.
The diminished size and total loss of sight is in me, not in her.
And just at the moment when someone at my side says,
"She is gone",
There are others who are watching her coming, and other voices take up a glad shout:
"There she comes" - and that is dying.
A horizon is just the limit of our sight.
Lift us up, Oh Lord, that we may see further.

[SharonRB]

165. Thank you

That's a beautiful poem and a wonderful description of death. My condolences on your loss as well.

[applegrove]

161. Very sorry for your loss. Sending vibes to your family.

[SharonRB]

166. Thanks, applegrove

[Phillycat]

167. Oh, I'm very sorry.

I am thinking of you and your family at this time.

PS. Seems wrong to mention right now, but it's awfully nice to see you here. :hug:

[SharonRB]

172. Thanks, janesez

For your thoughts and for thinking it's nice to see me here. :hug:

[CBHagman]

168. I am really sorry, Sharon.

May you and your mother's family and friends have peace of heart.

How are you doing?

[SharonRB]

171. Thanks, CB

I'm doing okay -- except when I'm alone or think too much about her. When people are around, I'm doing fine.

[latebloomer]

169. I am so sorry, Sharon!

It's good that she's out of her pain, but it's so tough losing a parent.

:hug:

[SharonRB]

170. Thanks, latebloomer

Yes, that's the one good thing -- she's finally at peace.

[Missy Vixen]

173. Sharon, I'm so sorry for your loss

Even if we're expecting it, it's still heartbreaking to lose a loved one.

My thoughts are with you.
Julie

[pdx_prog]

174. I'm so sorry Sharon

I lost my mom suddenly in October. There is no replacing your mom.