Sanity check needed from parents who have had 11 year old boys. Please!

[Pacifist Patriot]

I am so close to calling a therapist. Is the utter inability to take responsibility for anything normal? Everything is someone else's fault. It's gotten absurd. He accidentally crushed my wrist between the pantry and fridge doors this afternoon (it's bad, considering going for an exam / x-ray -- typing with one hand now). Somehow he managed to blame his 4 year old brother because he claimed to be getting something for him. The kid was screwing around and wouldn't help his brother get a snack if you paid him. This is driving me nuts!!!!!

He has gotten incredibly careless, insensitive and easily angered in the last few months. So whar's the verdict? Kick his ass? Schedule a psyche exam? Pray the phase ends sooner rather than later?

[LostinVA]

1. I think you should use my idea

[Pacifist Patriot]

5. Remind my pain-addled brain. What idea?

[LostinVA]

6. Take him to the beach

Drown him and let the ocean take care of the body.

[tigereye]

2. MIne is 12 in 2 weeks

and he has actually become somewhat more responsible this school year (6h grade) He actually brought one grade up without having me pester him about working on it, grades were good, he got most of his homework done at school on his own. That was pretty cool. He also does more things (but certainly not all) without me asking him. It's been a shock actually.

But he still needs reminders around the house to do stuff I would think he should do without me asking, which seems pretty typical, actually.


As far as responsibility for actions goes, mine will try to wriggle out of it, but we are pretty firm. He's an only child though, so I can't help in term s of the sibling aspect (other than from my own experience as the oldest of 5)


It probably couldn't hurt to see his pediatrician to see if there is some physical thing going on, and then if not, maybe a therapist appt wouldn't hurt, if he's not acting like himself. It's hard when they are going through puberty, since you often get more mouthiness than previously. You might even want to ask him, "hey, is something wrong?"


good luck. :hug:

[Midlodemocrat]

3. Sorry to tell you this, but it's typical teenaged behavior.

Our cleaning lady discovered a stash of candy wrappers behind the couch in the family room. BoyMidlo instantly blamed BabyMidlo.

Never mind that he doesn't allow her in there with him, EVER. :eyes:

[Faygo Kid]

4. I've been an 11 year old boy for the last 46 years.

Great age. Total doofus klutziness, but he'll live through it.

You, on the other hand, may have trouble doing so. That prayer thing sounds good.

[hedgehog]

7. You know your son the best. I'm disturbed by the comment that

he's gotten easily angered. Do you trust his teachers? Can you ask them if they see something that's not quite right? I'd say if you're worried, there may be something there to worry about. I had one kid who turned out to be severely depressed, but the only symptom we saw was sudden anger over a request to unload the dishwasher! Get it checked out, if only for your own peace of mind!

[Miss Carly]

8. if it's a real problem, talk to him about it

if it's just a phase, just clamp down and wait it out, it will take a while, but it will get better.
Carly

[Tektonik]

9. Boarding school!

[femmocrat]

10. I have taught middle school for the past 14 years....

It all sounds pretty "normal" to me, except for the "easily angered" part. There could be something else bothering him... Is he having any problems in school? It might be depression, a bully, social (girl?) problems, academics, or just worrying about his changing body. Adolescents are so complicated.

I have found that just talking with kids gets me a lot further than reprimanding them. It seems that when they understand why their behavior is unacceptable, they sometimes change for the better. Not always, but often enough.

I am also the mother of two sons (now adults) and I wish I had listened to them more and yelled at them less when they were that age.
Hope this helps a little. Let us know how he is doing, OK? Good luck! :hug: