Coffee stains your insides.

[Iris]

Seriously. This is what a young woman I work with told me yesterday. She turned 21 recently and so decided it was time to marry her boyfriend since jr. high and go back to her church. They don't believe in drinking coffee, but apparently sodas are ok. When she told me coffee is bad for me, I told her that I've never really seen any real proof of that. Most reports of the harm that coffee does end up being reversed. And besides, I told her, it comes naturally in nature, unlike sodas.

Anyway, the reason she thinks coffee stains your insides is because one of her friends from church told her it did. The reason the friend knows this? "If it can stain your teeth, just imagine how it stains your insides!"

It's dismaying. This girl is motivated and driven and is majoring in journalism, yet she's willing to suspend all critical thinking to embrace her new church/married lifestyle.


I just wanted to get that off my chest. I've got to go get some coffee now...
:donut:

[madinmaryland]

1. My god!! My stomach must be totally black!!1!!

:rofl:

[Iris]

16. maybe your soul is black, too!

hence the abstaining for religious purposes.

[Shine]

2. Baby, I'm stained inside and out!

:rofl:

[CC]

3. Find her favorite soda,

pour some in a glass jar and drop a nail in it. Put the top on it and tell her to watch what soda does to your insides.:rofl:

[Fleshdancer]

4. That's something a five year old would come up with

Hmmm...I drink red wine. When I cut myself, what color is the fluid that comes out?? RED! :tinfoilhat:

:rofl:

[madinmaryland]

8. You owe me a new keyboard!!!

:spray:

[skygazer]

5. I keep a teacup at work and it's amazing how stained it gets

One of my co-workers told me the same thing one day when I was cleaning it with bleach.

This is a woman who smokes about 2 packs a day. :wtf:

I just smile and nod. :rofl:

[Iris]

13. To be specific, she actually said your "internal organs"

I said probably just the ones related to the digestive tract!

[calico1]

6. Okay. Hopefully your coworker doesn't eat or drink

any of these:

tea
grape juice
berries
any kind of tomato product
chocolate
beets


I am sure there are a lot more.

I am amazed at the gullibility of some people.

[Iris]

14. I was thinking that on the way to work - blueberries, strawberries. They're antioxidants, for

God's sake, just like coffee!

I'm amazed at the willingness of some people to make themselves gullible just to belong to a church.

[Gormy Cuss]

7. Wait until someone tells her what HFCS or asparatame does to her insides

never mind all the acids in soft drinks.
}(

[FloridaJudy]

9. And this matters why?

I mean - my God! - they're your insides. No one is going to see them except possibly a surgeon, and he or she isn't going to care. It's not like it dyes your eyelids purple or something.

:rofl:

My insides could be darker. I think I need another pot.

[woo me with science]

10. You need Kinoki foot pads!

:rofl:

[Shakespeare]

11. As Ron White says, you can't fix stupid.

Gads...and they're probably going to reproduce. :scared:

[Iris]

18. well, yes. That's the reason for hurrying up to get married!

She is not pregnant, yet. But it's pretty clear she intends to be soon - and many times.

[IronLionZion]

12. I think it's the caffeine

I rarely drink coffee, especially in the morning on an empty stomach because it doesn't agree with me.

[cloudbase]

15. That'll explain

the poop being brown, then.

[Iris]

19. oh . . . my . . . god! I just spit..... you guessed it!

coffee! all over my keyboard!

[trof]

17. She should see what cherry Kool Aid does.

;-)

[The Straight Story]

20. You're screen name isn't related to an old TRS-80 basic command by any chance

is it? (troff/tron - trace off and trace on).

[billyskank]

22. He's the retired old fart.

It has nothing to do with Unix typesetting tools either.

[mikeytherat]

23. "It has nothing to do with Unix typesetting tools either"

Damn. That was my first guess.

mikey_the_rat

[billyskank]

24. You've outed yourself now

you nerd.

[mikeytherat]

25. You should've just asked swimboy, he'd have told ya.

"Mikey? Oh, yeah. He's a complete, A-Level boffin."

mikey_the_rat

[trof]

31. it's related to tHE rETIRED oLD fART.

And that would be me.
;-)

[billyskank]

21. It may not be her church to blame. She may just be an idiot.

You find them everywhere.

[Iris]

26. well, the church does frown on, but doesn't quite forbid, drinking coffee

and if the person who is her "mentor" there can't come up with something better than that, then I'd say it's a church that idiots tend to choose.

However, I believe this girl is really searching for something, and I don't think the answers will be found in her getting married and having a bunch of kids.

[eyepaddle]

27. And even if it did?

:shrug:

I'm fairly sure it's pretty dark in there most of the time anyway! :)

[Iris]

28. I know, I know.

It just boggles my mind. I mean, so what? Now if someone told me it crystallized my organs and within a few years time I'd fall over and die of asphyxiation, well, then, maybe I'd do some research and find out if that were true...

[eyepaddle]

29. And I'd be right there with ya!

Until then however, I'll take it black, no sugar, recently ground if it's not too much trouble!

[Forkboy]

30. So does being a Republican.

:evilgrin:

[unpossibles]

32. tell her that if that were true, your pee would come out black too

it may smell like coffee, but it's not black.

[sakabatou]

33. *facepalm*

That's some evidence they have: "I heard it from a friend so it MUST be true!"

[Iris]

34. and more specifically

from a friend who was trying to "mentor" her into a church.

[sakabatou]

35. Of course

Man, fundies ruin everything.

[Deja Q]

36. Well, if Shout won't get it out, there's always bleach...

:wow:

:scared:

(note: Don't do it, and who is going to LOOK in there anyway?)

[Iris]

38. good thing you put the disclaimer!

Otherwise, I might have tried it!

[SOteric]

37. That explains

why she signed up to be brainwashed. :P

[Iris]

39. yeah - I know. btw, I love your security alert!