So from my particular point of view, get an ugly man to marry you!

[RadiationTherapy]

Why Beautiful Women Marry Less Attractive Men http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20080410/sc_livescience/whybeautifulwomenmarrylessattractivemen


Women seeking a lifelong mate might do well to choose the guy a notch below them in the looks category. New research reveals couples in which the wife is better looking than her husband are more positive and supportive than other match-ups.

The reason, researchers suspect, is that men place great value on beauty, whereas women are more interested in having a supportive husband.

*snip*

Overall, wives and husbands behaved more positively when the woman was better looking.


The finding "seems very reasonable," said Dan Ariely, a professor of behavioral economics at MIT's Program in Media Arts and Sciences and Sloan School of Management. "Men are very sensitive to women's attractiveness. Women seem to be sensitive to men's height and salary," said Ariely, who was not involved in the recent study.


In couples with more attractive husbands, both partners were less supportive of one another. McNulty suggests wives mirror, in some ways, the level of support they get from husbands.


"The husband who's less physically attractive than his wife is getting something more than maybe he can expect to get," McNulty told LiveScience. "He's getting something better than he's providing at that level. So he's going to work hard to maintain that relationship."


Men who are more attractive than their partners would theoretically have access to partners who are more attractive than their current spouses, McNulty said. The "grass could be greener" mentality could make these men less satisfied and less committed to maintain the marriage.


Physical attractiveness of husbands is not as important to women, the researchers suggest. Rather, wives are looking for supportive husbands, they say.


Wow. This is just... hmmm. This is setting us back by decades. Does this ring true to any of you?

[Robb]

1. And yet, somehow, despite my almost alarming handsomeness

...I gots hitched. :D

[billyskank]

2. Were they male researchers perchance?

[billyskank]

3. Ugly male researchers, at that?

*raises eyebrow*

[ScreamingMeemie]

4. My husband was the most stunning man on earth...

and yet he married, and stayed faithful to me...frumpy, dumpy me. And I was lucky and we were happy.

[RadiationTherapy]

10. He probably didn't see it that way.

I bet he couldn't believe his luck.

God, I hate that you have to use the past tense. I hope you are moving through it somehow.

[flvegan]

5. "Women seem to be sensitive to men's height and salary"

:popcorn:

[LeftyMom]

19. No wonder I split up with OC.

Damn, I'm mean. :rofl:

[RadiationTherapy]

24. "height"

"salary"

These are clearly code words.

[ceile]

6. Yep.

From personal experience, I've found this to be true. My ex would bend over back wards for me. I'm not much into looks, but we got a lot of "she's with him?!" comments during our relationship. Now my current fiance is very handsome and is lacking in the supportive arena. As were all of my other above average looking boyfriends. I guess I should put on my flame suit, but I really have found this to be true.

[TZ]

7. great another bullshit study

I look for brains/wit/sense of humor..Not appearances..
I agree with flvegan on this::popcorn:

[RadiationTherapy]

14. I put some details about the study below.

I won't say it is bullshit, but there is nothing to be gained by this study.

Maybe stuff like this is the reason "families are falling apart" across america. No one even knows what a relationship is anymore.

[TZ]

15. Well I hate studies like this

because what is "attractive" is so damn hard to quantify. Its super subjective! Same thing when I see a study based on IQ testing..ugh so hard to really have objective tests there as well...

[RadiationTherapy]

27. From the article...

Researchers admit that looks are subjective, but studies show there are some universal standards, including large eyes, "baby face" features, symmetric faces, so-called average faces, and specific waist-hip ratios in men versus women.

I am a "large eye; symmetrical face" kind of guy. I don't mind a big nose. I like big lips too. "baby faces" creep me out a little, sexually. I do like wide hips.

Wait. you didn't ask me about any of that. Sorry.

[drmeow]

16. This is almost definitely part of a much larger study

with a loftier purpose. There's no way they did this study just to answer this question.

Studies of attractiveness (in any domain) are essentially "seeking pure knowledge" studies rather than "trying to answer a question that will change things or help people even if it is years away." My guess is some grad student said, "Hm, I wonder if attractiveness has anything to do with support" and decided to do it as a side project.

[bicentennial_baby]

22. If it was a Behavioral Econ study, it sounds typical...

One of my favorites being "In the Heat of the Moment: The Effect of Sexual Arousal on Decision Making"...It involved having subjects masturbate to certain images and scenarios, and answering questions. I believe that Prof. Ariely, who is quoted in this article, was a lead author on that piece. :D

[Lydia Leftcoast]

30. Me, too

I've met too many tall, rich idiots to put much stock in either height or wealth.

One of my worst dates ever was a blind date. The guy was handsome, I mean REALLY, REALLY handsome. He dressed well and had good manners.

I had my first inklings that the evening might not go well when we went to his car and I found that he had the radio tuned to a Muzak station.

Then came dinner, one of the longest dinners of my life. The guy had NO conversational skills. He answered most of my questions with "yes" or "no" or "maybe." When I tried open-ended questions, he just shrugged.

[GreenPartyVoter]

8. But Billy Joel stepped out on Christie, so what does that mean for this study?

[nomorenomore08]

9. I suppose excessive money/ego might throw a wrench in the equation. Just my guess.

nt

[RadiationTherapy]

11. I bet she was a crap cook.

[nomorenomore08]

13. Heh... But then again, who needs their spouse to cook for them when they're that rich?

:evilgrin:

[RadiationTherapy]

12. Some details about the study...

...from the article...

Supportive spouses


McNulty's team assessed 82 couples who had married within the previous six months and had been together for nearly three years prior to tying the knot. Participants were on average in their early to mid-20s.


Researchers videotaped as each spouse discussed with their partner a personal problem for 10 minutes. The tapes were analyzed for whether partners were supportive of spouses' issues, which included goals to eat healthier, to land a new job and to exercise more often.


"A negative husband would've said, 'This is your problem, you deal with it,'" McNulty said, "versus 'Hey, I'm here for you; what do you want me to do?; how can I help you?'"


A group of trained "coders" rated the facial attractiveness of each spouse on a scale from 1 to 10, with the perfect 10 representing the ultimate babe. About a third of the couples had a more attractive wife, a third a more attractive husband and the remaining partners showed matching looks.

[XemaSab]

20. Here's the problem with the study:

they were in their early to mid-20s.

People at that age are dumbshits about dating/mating. As you get older, looks and money matter less and less....

[pitohui]

33. let me rephrase that sentence

you say As you get older, looks and money matter less and less....

i am sorry to say, that as you get older, looks matter less and eventually don't matter at all, but money matters more and more

the older you are, the more money makes a difference over whether you can even get medical treatment and stay alive, it makes a difference over how you look and how well you can maintain your health and appearance, it makes a difference whether people pay any attention to you or completely neglect and ignore you...sadly, in a capitalist society, which is where we find ourselves, if you are older, you need to have money

if something happened to my husband, god forbid, i will not remarry a man who is not economically ahead of the curve, which realistically means at my age that i won't remarry, but i've seen too many older women pulled down financially because of stars in their eyes!

[XemaSab]

36. Let me refine what I said:

Every 20-year-old chica wants to marry a RICH lawyer with a GIANT house in Malibu. That grad student living on ramen? No thanks.

When you get a little older you realize that as long as the guy has a steady job and pays the bills, you could do a LOT worse.

[siligut]

17. After just having to get the stepladder out to reach the SANDPAPER!

My guy is taller than I am and it causes me troubles, I can’t find stuff because it is on top of the top shelf, where it is at eye level for him, but I need a ladder to see it. Also, I have to use two hands and some muscle just to get my emergency brake down after my husband has driven my car. I would say a woman should marry a man about the same size as she is.

A sense of humor, intelligence, reasonable hygiene and money management are important to me. My husband is very attractive although he would never know it. Women fall over themselves, he is oblivious.

Really, I would never have married if I hadn’t met my husband, just couldn’t do it. So I really don’t think it is a conscious choice. Marry someone you love and are also friends with.

[Aristus]

18. Here's an ugly-guy-beautiful-woman matchup:

She used to be married to a fairly good-looking macho-man type...who abused her. I guess she stays with me because I adore her and would never hurt her...

[Cabcere]

25. I think you are both good-looking.

:hug: It sounds like you are lucky to have each other. :hi:

[pitohui]

35. you are both very attractive and look well matched

and we all love a story with a happy ending too!

[bicentennial_baby]

21. Yay! Behavioral Econ in teh Lounge! I love Ariely!!

He's the one who inspired me to get into the field. :bounce:

[RadiationTherapy]

23. Must - Know - More...Can't - Fight - Curiosity!

Is Behavioral Economics the study of how women only go for rich assholes? Or how rich assholes get all the women?

This nice guy has GOTS to know!

[bicentennial_baby]

28. Behavioral Economics is a sub-field, relatively new, of Economics.

It combines Economics with Psychology, Sociology, etc. It is used, in a way, to show that neoclassical economic theory does not necessarily apply to reality, and that the assumptions of the SEM (standard economic model) do not necessarily bear out in real life experience. The SEM assumes that humans (and firms, I suppose) are "rational actors", and that they will behave in a "rational" and predictable way when it comes to decision making, risk assessment, and their resulting behavior.

Any cynical Econ major can tell you that what we are taught bears little resemblance to what we see and experience in our day to day lives. So, within Behavioral Econ, which is a sub-field of Experimental Econ, we seek to understand how we can construct a more realistic model that reflects reality as it is experienced by the average person, firm, etc. Often these experiments and studies involve topics generally thought to be outside of the Economic milieu.

If you're interested, a good beginner's intro book that I can recommend is Dan Ariely's new book, "Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions"

:hi:

[RadiationTherapy]

29. Hm. and here I thought it would be interesting.

My bad.
















Kidding. I'm kidding!!

[TZ]

38. Hmm. Sounds a lot like human sociobiology

a subset of ethology (animal behavior) where every single bad human behavior is tied to "evolutionary pressures":eyes:

[bicentennial_baby]

41. I'm not sure that I get what you're saying...

Personally, I think that Behavioral Econ, as well as NeuroEcon, are a HUGE step forward for my field, because Economics, in its raw form, it is one of the most abstract and counterintuitive fields out there.

It was the eye roll I didn't get, btw. :)

[TZ]

45. Oh sorry

I get tired of biologists who ascribe all behavior in humans as genetic without considering things like environmental influences including cultural upbringing. One of the most controversial figures in that field wrote a paper on the evoltion of rape in humans....Thats what the eye rolling thing is. That was the one discussion that turned LOUD in my class....
Somehow I can't see economists quite doing the same thing...

[Cabcere]

26. Well, shoot.

Guess I'm out of luck! :P :hi:

[pitohui]

31. it rings true to me

i have never been physically attracted to handsome men, well, other than john cusack, and it's for the reasons they mention -- the handsome man can't be supportive, he's too busy getting validation for his good looks with ten other women and his behavior is just a complete turn-off to me because of his actions -- "beauty is skin deep but ugly goes all the way to the bone" if you know what i mean

i realize that all DUers are wonderfully physically attractive AND have great personalities, but in the real world, in my generation, a man who "had it all" didn't have to develop a kind personality, he would be completely spoiled and just impossible to live with and the odds were huge that he would treat his partner like crap

i would hope that young men are more aware and that today, a young men can be physically beautiful and still be a great person, but i dunno -- at the end of the day, i think society is still unequal and that men do still get spoiled and that a sharp woman will look to the man who appreciates her, if this means a man who isn't quite a movie star hunk, so be it

also i just don't think the beautiful man is going to be quite as talented as bed, all he has to do is "be there" if you know what i mean, tee hee -- the man who can't fall back on looks has to fall back on his evil twisted mind and that, to me, is much more sexy

how does any of this set anybody back by decades? the feminist movement, for me, wasn't about sleeping with a male stripper, it was about getting fair pay and a shot at a decent career, not about pretending that the laws of physical attraction are something that they're not

so i admit it, when it comes to men, i very much distrust a pretty face, and i doubt i'm the only woman out there who feels the same way, it just isn't much admitted to in public

[bicentennial_baby]

32. I'm not keen on generalizations such as this...

For instance, to the average person (myself included), my husband is far more attractive than I, due to certain things about myself that I don't discuss on DU. I readily admit that he is. That being said, he is the most supportive, loving partner I have ever had. He is not self-absorbed in the slightest. I'm the center of his world, and he lets me know that every day. Maybe we're an anomaly. :shrug:

[pitohui]

37. true, at the end of the day generalizations are just that...generalizations

also i'm thinking what is true for older generations may not be as true for younger generations

you must remember that people of my generation (and older) were brought up with a completely different psychology, the most obvious example being that we were taught never to share or talk about problems or issues, in my lifetime, society has completely changed and people are encouraged to develop completely different personalities and to have a completely different approach to sharing problems with their partners

this has GOT to impact how couples meet and communicate

[bicentennial_baby]

39. That is a very good point, these things have changed enormously

Well put :)

[supernova]

34. Really hate reading these kinds of articles

claiming to study the psychology of attraction.

They only depress me.

[Fox Mulder]

40. Seems like another bullshit study to me.

Who keeps funding this crap?

[skygazer]

42. Well, as usual I don't fit that mold at all

My first husband was okay looking but I was better looking definitely. My second husband was not really good looking at all and was an abusive jerk.

My present husband is VERY good looking, better looking than I am and he is wonderfully supportive and worships the ground I walk on, as much now that we've been together than when we first met. If not more.

But then I never do follow stereotypes.

[RadiationTherapy]

43. boomp.

[DarkTirade]

44. Damn it, I knew being this pretty was a curse.

Now I'm never gonna find a girl as pretty as me to get married to. They'll all want somebody uglier. :cry: