If you see a poster on here to whom you are attracted,

[Tuesday Afternoon]

(for whatever reason) would you send them a PM?

[Guava Jelly]

1. Not me

I'm way to much of a chicken for that :)

[Tuesday Afternoon]

3. but,

what about that infamous "butt" shot ...I hear so much about ? :D

that is not to be taking serious, I know. :pals:

this would be of a different nature. this would be taking a chance, right?

[Guava Jelly]

5. It would be.

But each situation is different.
And you just nevah know :)

[MissHoneychurch]

6. ....

:spray:

:rofl:

[Guava Jelly]

12. what are you laughing at

:mad: :D

[BarenakedLady]

89. Did you type that with a straight face?

:D

[Guava Jelly]

98. I typed it with this face

:D

[BarenakedLady]

99. Bwahahaha

That just made me giggle slightly madly.

[IronLionZion]

2. No, I would think that would be inappropriate

women don't come to a political forum to get dates. Although I did get PMed years ago from a girl who was interested. She lived in Tennessee while I was in NY and nothing ever came of it.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

4. Had you been "attracted" to her as well or, did it hit you

as a big surprise that you heard from her?

[IronLionZion]

9. it was a surprise, but after the PM I got very interested nt

[Tuesday Afternoon]

20. oh.my! Dare I ask,

just how forward was her PM? :D

[IronLionZion]

46. Oh you are a naughty woman aren't you?

She just told me that she liked me, the conversation comes easily between us, etc. She sent across her AOL screen name and pics of herself. She wanted to talk some more outside of this site and see if we hit it off. It wasn't dirty! She was beautiful and had a nice smile, that's why I got interested.

Now that you reminded me, there was another woman DUer who sent me erotic photos of herself. She wasn't looking for a date or anything, she just thought I might like it based on our discussions on DU about something. That was a real surprise!

Tuesday, it sounds like you might be interested in PMing someone, so I would say go ahead and do it. Um, I would suggest the approach of first women I mentioned, not the second one. Just let him know that you are interested. Best of luck to you!

[Tuesday Afternoon]

50. thanks !!

yes, the first approach is more my style ;) :hug:

[datasuspect]

7. i'd find out where they lived

and surreptitiously monitor their day to day affairs.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

8. of course!! the perfect plan --

for a stalker :D

[Schema Thing]

13. That's stalking and kind of creepy

Dude, just make a few well timed passes in front of their house on your bicycle. Soon enough they get the message. One gal even sent her pit-bull out to play with me; we were just about to start playing fetch when, I guess, the police sirens set the poor pup off. I don't think the girl knows which hospital they sent me to though. She must feel terrible.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

19. I am sure....she is terribly worried about

her pit-bull :D

[Bennyboy]

10. I haven't but I have thought about it once or twice......

Looked at their profile and journal (if they had one) but never screwed up the courage to PM them.....

[Tuesday Afternoon]

22. who are you ?

the cowardly lion :D I am just wondering. At least on here, I know that I share political views (to a degree). One thing in common already and, an important one to me.

[Bennyboy]

48. Do you think it is proper though?

Political ideaology is #1 for me for sure, so that is one thing. But...I am kinda shy really.

And would doing something like that kind of weird the DU relationship also?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

51. I think (for me anyway) it would depend on the approach in the

PM. I think to say hello and that I agree with what you had to say in such and such a thread...and I have noticed over time that we have things in common, such as ....

and you know let it go from there and see what develops. I do not think the first PM needs to be anything "heavy".

Always be respectful. Don't you think?:shrug:

[Ohio Joe]

11. No but I've wanted to

If I thought it was appropriate I would but this just does not seem to me to be the right place for hitting on women.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

16. where is the right place for "hitting" on women?

:shrug:

[Ohio Joe]

25. Well... for me personally

I don't pursue woman I work with and I don't pursue them online unless it is a forum for that express purpose (match.com, etc). Otherwise, I think pretty much anywhere else.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

26. Yes, I can understand that....thanks. --

but, this is "teh Lounge" :shrug:

[Ohio Joe]

49. True

But it is also DU. I think most people come here for the political discussion and news. I know I would not be uncomfortable if someone sent me a PM but I would be very afraid of making someone else uncomfortable. I don't know... it just doesn't seem to be the right thing for me to be doing.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

52. well, you have to be true to yourself. If you are not comfortable

with it then perhaps it is not right for you. However, how else do you expect to grow as a person if you do not step out of your comfort zone?

[NJmaverick]

14. It would depend

If the female in question showed some interest, then I probably would. Otherwise no

[Tuesday Afternoon]

18. How would one show interest in the public forum?

How un-subtle would one have to be?

[NJmaverick]

38. That's a tough one to explain

I guess if you have someone that flirts with you, while discussing various topics, that would be a good indicator of interest. Can't say I have had anyone really flirt with me on DU, so I can't offer up a real life example.

[BreweryYardRat]

15. No. That'd be creepy. n/t

[Tuesday Afternoon]

23. ok. thanks for responding.

:hi:

edited for a typo.

[Fox Mulder]

17. No. It'd be too creepy and weird.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

24. ok. thanks for responding.

:hi:

[TZ]

21. ...

I have, sort of. And thats all I am gonna say on the matter.;-)

[Tuesday Afternoon]

27. but, but, --

how's it working for you? So, You are the Girl and You did the contacting, right?

[TZ]

33. I did

But it was sort of as a joke first. Then it got a bit more, er interesting. This person is however a good friend whom I do talk to on a fairly regular basis outside DU but I think at this point its a friends only thing. *sigh*. And I really can't go into more detail.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

34. understood....

if it is long distance, it really cramps the style.

[DS1]

28. Call me weird, but I think sending someone a pm with a note

and being upfront about it would be far less weird than following the person around and 'flirting' with them :shrug:

[SOteric]

31. So I should just stop with the flirting?

You're so hurtful, DS1.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

36. Love the smilies !!

I believe you have a good one here SOteric. I am wishing you both the best :hug:

[SOteric]

37. I'd have to agree with you on that.

He's a keeper.

:pals:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

35. yes, I agree....Notice, however, how many people are responding

NO to this poll. There is a way to be polite and tactful and friendly. Personally, I would rather have a PM than to be followed around. Thanks for responding. :hi:

[DS1]

39. and this place is so full of singles complaining about being single

imagine that. :)

[Tuesday Afternoon]

42. yeah...

silly me...trying to find a practical solution to a common problem.

[ceile]

29. They're all married.

So what would be the point?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

40. Yes, I think there are a lot of happily married people on here.

I would not dream of "hitting" on a married person. I hope that I could discern from their public posts that they are married. There is a "vibe" know what I mean?

[Ellen Forradalom]

30. No, I'd flirt right out in public

[Tuesday Afternoon]

41. You Go! Girl !!

:yourock:

but, what if you want to take it to the "next level" ? :shrug:

[Ellen Forradalom]

45. Flirt harder

Or just strike up a conversation by PM over something. Presumably if you are attracted you have something in common?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

54. exactly!! at some point, one has to go to the PM. --

Does it really matter if the girl is the first one to PM ?

[NJmaverick]

58. Go for it!

Clearly there is someone that interests you. I am sure if you PM him, he will be flattered... who knows, maybe it will lead somewhere very good

[Tuesday Afternoon]

70. well ---

if anything comes of it...you guys will be the first to know :D

[RainDog]

64. matter?

irl, when I feel confident (which isn't much lately) and a mutual attraction is obvious, I have no problem being "aggressive" - I don't know of one guy who has ever been upset when a female he was interested in tried to seduce him. Instead, any guy I've ever known who has talked about this situation likes it b/c it's not the usual thing. I think I like to do this because I am usually clueless that someone is actually interested in me. I always assume ppl are just being friendly and nothing more.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

66. yes, it is a chance one has to take...that is why I think the first PM

should be "friendly" without presuming too much. Right?

[RainDog]

71. you're asking ME?

:rofl:

I've never pm'd someone with the intent to have a romantic relationship so I'm about the last person who could provide useful advice about that. If you want to annoy someone... then I am your goddess.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

74. oh.my.

we can do irksome together ;) :rofl:

I bet there is someone on here who would love to get a PM on here. No, I don't know who but, I bet there is. You seem like a nice person and why wouldn't they be interested in a nice person ? :shrug:

:pals:

[Ellen Forradalom]

73. Let serendipity do its work.

If you want to talk with someone about something, do so, and if goes any place, so much the better. Let go of control and of bogus 'rules.' Just make friends.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

75. I want to nominate this post of yours for greatest page !!

oh.wait. I can't x(

most.excellent advice!!

thanks :hug:

[RainDog]

77. there are rules?!?!?!

yikes. I am in trouuuubleeee.

[Ellen Forradalom]

113. Just observe the prime directive

Don't Be a Sociopathic Stalker Freak

and you should be fine.

[RainDog]

138. okay

...but what exactly qualifies as stalking? Are there numbers involved that deal with feet/meters or am I confusing that with dancing?

edit b/c posting before coffee are a dangerous thing, grammatically.

[Bennyboy]

142. I would be flattered and really dig it.......

if someone sent me a PM....But I am a guy so the dynamic is different there. When a guy is hit on it is flattering, but for women it is not quite as rare of thing....

But what the hell do I know?

[guitar man]

32. I voted no

I think I'm just too shy :blush:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

43. awww ---

:hug:

I understand about the shyness thing but, curiosity usually wins out over the shyness with me.

[guitar man]

44. well, honestly

I just don't want anyone to think I'm a creepy old man chasing after women....:rofl:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

55. I am sure, that whoever you would PM would not think that you

are just anyone,,,maybe it turns out that you are "the special someone" !!

[guitar man]

61. and then maybe

...she would PM nekkid pictures to me?

:rofl:

:hide:

[MilesColtrane]

47. No.

I would, however, dip her pigtails in the ink well, or put a frog in her desk.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

56. and I would --

turn around and stick my tongue out at you :P

[DarkTirade]

87. That's moving a little fast there, isn't it?

I mean... wouldn't it be better to start out slow, like say with spitballs?

[RainDog]

53. No.

that would be too scary. I joke/flirt with ppl who aren't available to just be silly and laugh.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

59. scary ?? This is scary --

[RainDog]

62. eek! insane clown posse!

so... do you? did I miss the part where you answered your own question?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

68. do I ?? what? PM?? ---

well, not to this one certain person. No, not yet. However, I have PM'd people on here in regards to a thread in which I wnated to share on a personal level but, was not ready to go public with all the personal information. Or, on a political level if I had a question for just the one poster and did not think the rest of the board would be interested.

[jobycom]

57. No, unless I got an invitation to do so. It's a political board, and unless I hear otherwise

I assume people are hear to talk about politics, or Olive Garden. If I send a PM, it will be on topic.

Not that I'm against people sending me PMs... :)

[Tuesday Afternoon]

60. of course, that is the best way to start up any conversation ..

to continue the topic...and If you want to be PM'ed perhaps you should PM. Do unto others ;)

[jobycom]

63. yeah, buit I'm way shy and hopelessly clueless.

I hear all the time that someone has made a pass at me and it went over my head. :)

[Tuesday Afternoon]

65. awwww --

:hug:

what if I double-dog dared you :D

[jobycom]

67. Gee

Wouldn't want to become a stalker...

[Tuesday Afternoon]

69. One PM does not a stalker make .... go on.... now

you know you want to! and besides if you have been double-dog dared on a public forum :D

[jobycom]

72. Now I'm worried...

If I stop responding, will people assume I PMed you, or that I didn't? Assuming anyone is reading.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

76. with so much going on in GD-P

who on earth would be reading this innocuous little thread :shrug:

[jobycom]

78. Well, since this is the last subthread, it seems

that either we killed the thread, or all of the Lounge is waiting with bated breath to see what happens next.

Yeah, probably option number one.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

82. silly...we did not kill it.

I am off to work now...have a great day and I will see you in the funny papers ;) :D

[BeachBaby]

79. ....

:hi:

I know a couple of people who bantered back and forth on message boards. Both of these people are friends of mine (both women). They liked the guys they were conversing with, but wanted to see if they could talk in "real time" instead of the message boards. So they pm'd them and told them they would love to gab, and if they were interested, they could chat on one of the various Messengers (AOL, MSN, etc.).

Both said yes, both ended up chatting....both are now married to their message board buddies. :)

[Tuesday Afternoon]

81. that is wonderful story with a happy ending !! thanks for sharing.

I love happily ever after don't you? :pals:

[Radio_Lady]

80. I found my husband through the Boston Globe. He was looking for a housekeeper, but

as a radio personality, that wasn't my objective, of course. It was something about the simple words he used that sang out to me. (This is in 1972, before personal ads.) We talked for about an hour that first night. I asked him his religion, and his age, and tried to figure out if I had anything in common with an electrical engineer. (I had only been married briefly to a young doctor, and the rest of my dates were pretty much exclusively with other media people, including the now-famous Larry King.)

So, I invited him to a Dutch treat Chinese dinner. The rest is history.

TA, I may be married, but I'm not dead. I've flirted a bit, and everybody knows it.

:hi:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

121. That is the sweetest story. Very serendipitous!!

Just think how slim the chances were of you guys ever meeting if you had not made that phone call :wow:

Congratulations on a long and happy marriage...and I, for one, see nothing wrong with some innocent on-line flirting ;)

:hug: :hi:

[Radio_Lady]

129. We might have met the month he married his first wife. Oh, that would have been tough.

They honeymooned in December 1957 when I was on television from 5PM to 6PM every weekday afternoon. Of course, they had no children at the time, but his wife had a son nine months and 10 days after their honeymoon. Sometime in that month, a fellow I knew took pictures of me in an aqua and white dress standing on the water feature at the Fountainbleau Hotel, right near their hotel.

Perhaps our paths crossed -- what is really odd is that my photographs from the same month, probably processed at Kodak in New York City -- have faded in EXACTLY the same way over the years. I'm standing by the beach, and there he is with his wife at the same beach.

But all of life is that way, I think. That includes the chance of bring born AT ALL (millions of sperm and one particular egg) in all of the spinning universe -- we use the word SERENDIPITY a lot in this family.

[LeftyMom]

83. A quick check reveals that I sent the first PM, after a few weeks of flirting on the board.

Since that was three and a half years ago, and he hasn't run screaming or got a restraining order yet, it appears that it worked out.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

107. I think you guys are one of the more famous "success" stories

around here, which reminds me ....did you guys do the big reveal yet? Seems like a hint of something was dropped around April Fool's Day :shrug:

of course you can always PM me :D

[LeftyMom]

110. That's scary, us being a success story. We're like goofy overgrown kids. Well, I'm still kid size...

Anyhow, the big reveal fell really fast. Because it was "ha ha, we got you, april fool" :P

[Tuesday Afternoon]

115. Did you guys ever make the BIG

April Fool's post? I guess I am late to the party :D

[Radio_Lady]

132. LOL. Long term relationships are pretty unusual, but I met a 92 year old woman last

week who was married for 64 years. Her husband died a few years ago of a stroke.

Lois was born in Pittsburgh in 1916 and it took my breath away, because I was born there too in 1939 in the hospital. Lois told me she was born at home, and she was a premature baby of only three pounds. Her mother decided to give her boiled milk in an eyedropper. I should have asked her whether that was because she couldn't breastfeed.

Lois taught Home Economics in Sherwood, OR and her interest in nutrition remains today. It was quite a pleasant meeting -- she is still truckin' along with her beautiful blue eyes and cloud white hair. She swims regularly at the local pool and she looked sweet and trim the day I saw her. I believe she has three children in the area.

She made sure to tell me she is NOT in assisted living. To those of you in the know, the suburbs of Portland have a great number of nursing and help for the elderly environments.

[billyskank]

84. I should probably try beating myself with a spatula instead.

Not worth it.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

108. Poor Billy --

:hug:

[Forkboy]

85. I wouldn't subject anyone to my deranged mind without permission.

And even then...

But, that's just me. If you like someone enough I say go for it, don't wait, because someone else may beat you to the punch and you'll miss out.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

109. thanks !!

I think.... :D

[DarkTirade]

86. No, I'd talk to them out in the open.

And not be all creepy and secretive about it.

Although it would be hard to tell with me, since I tend to flirt with just about anybody and everybody on here. :P

Seriously though, at a certain point you're gonna wanna do PMs instead of talking in the open 'cause you don't wanna share your entire conversation with the whole world. But I wouldn't PM 'em unless there was some talking out in the open first.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

114. You big lug nut !!

What is so creepy about a PM :D

this is creepy

[DarkTirade]

117. Now that is creepy...

I can't believe someone would do such a bad job of photoshopping something like that... :P

[ThomCat]

133. What are those things on his fingers?

:shrug:

It looks like something out of a bad vampire movie.

[DarkTirade]

134. I'd guess it's the inside of some kind of plant or perhaps marine sedentary animal.

:P

Last time I saw something creepy like that it was a seed pod that had lots of little holes that looked like some mutated beehive or something. By itself it was just a seed pod... but photoshopped onto human flesh it was disgusting and creepy.

[Rhythm]

135. Are you talking about the boobie-pshop that was going around?

I remember that one... *shudders at the remembered grossness*

[DarkTirade]

140. Yeah... that one even grossed me out a little.

And I can handle a lot of grossness.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

137. aren't you glad

I am not PMing you ;)

[DarkTirade]

143. At least not with stuff like that...

:P

[bicentennial_baby]

88. That's how my husband nabbed me...

A simple PM from Sniffa, and here we are, married for 9 months now.

It went something like this:

"Hey, we both live in MA, both smoke weed, both have short hair, and both like porn. We should hang out, no?"

:rofl: I swear to gawd that's what he said.

[DarkTirade]

90. Hey, isn't it against the rules to share personal info from PMs?

:P

[bicentennial_baby]

93. It's too funny to not share...

:rofl:

[SallyMander]

97. ...

:spray:

:applause:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

106. OMG that is hilarious !!

:rofl:

[BarenakedLady]

91. Sure

Why not?

:shrug:

[Inchworm]

94. Now just sit back

and read the flood of PMs.

:rofl:

[DS1]

95. flood of PMs.

see, that's just nasty

[BarenakedLady]

100. See, and only you

would go there.

:spank:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

104. what did he post?

all I got was the little red x x(

[DS1]

120. It was supposed to have been the Ladies Man from SNL

[Tuesday Afternoon]

124. this guy ?

[DS1]

127. Exactly

"That's just nasty" was one of his catch phrases

[Tuesday Afternoon]

128. gotcha !!

;)

:rofl:


I was trying to make something even more gross out of it. Imagine that :D

[BarenakedLady]

96. Pffft.

You could hear the crickets chirping if the tumbleweeds didn't muffle the sound. :P

[Rhythm]

92. If i was single, perhaps...

The most important thing to me is having things in common,and the ability to communicate well, so if it was someone that i talked with easily, AND i thought was attractive, then i would be tempted to say something in private to that person.

Not being single, however, that becomes a hypothetical question. :-)

[DarkTirade]

101. Of course, if your SO hears you talking too much about it that might not be a problem...

:P

Although if I recall who your SO is correctly, after reading another post on here from her, I think she's too busy being on Cloud 9 to notice.

[Rhythm]

136. Actually, knowing my SO...

She's be amused at my usual ineptitude. She thinks my social awkwardness is cute somehow... go figure.

[DarkTirade]

141. I need someone who thinks like that...

Would make my life a lot easier. :P

[SPKrazy]

102. Nevah, evah

would I do such a thing

nevah nevah nevah

:rofl:

:yoiks:


why not? I mean if that is the case, big deal.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

116. it appears to be a big deal to some people around ...according

to the results of this spectacularly unscientific poll :D

[SarahB]

103. If the person's available, sure.

If not, don't do anyone any "favors" by telling them how fabulous they are. I'm BEYOND serious. No one has the right to complicate someone else's life because sometimes in these situations, you could be the ONLY person telling them they're fabulous.

AGAIN, ONLY IF THE PERSON IS AVAILABLE.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

118. yeah, I know what you mean ---

I despise a one-way street of a relationship :D

[siligut]

105. I have PMed other posters, but not in a flirtatious way.

However, I wonder if some of them thought I was flirting, just because I PMed them. Don’t know.

This is the perfect opportunity to meet people with similar interests. Especially since this is the lounge. I say PM anyone who looks interesting, get to know them if you can. Seriously, life is too short. A PM not responded to? Pfth, much better than a sneer or offended look in person.

Though I would say, be subtle unless there has been flirting on the board. This coming from a happily married woman, who literally placed herself in her husband’s path, made small talk and waited until he asked me out.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

112. spoken like a common sensical, practical person who is not

afraid of living life to the fullest. Thanks for sharing your story.

[Drum]

111. I wouldn't rule it out...because i have.

:D

[Tuesday Afternoon]

119. whoa,wait.what? ruled it out? are you saying you have PM'd or

you have ruled out the PM :crazy:

[Drum]

122. Can't rule out the PM

because they have been sent. (Didn't you get yours? ;))

[Tuesday Afternoon]

123. oh really ????

*runs off to check PM box with a look of yeah, right what a load of BS on her face, still there is a glimmer of hope in her eyes*

:D

[Blue-Jay]

125. I like to send everyone pictures of my weiner.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

126. its so cute !!

Now we can all testify as to the cuteness of your weiner ;)

edited for typos.

[DarkTirade]

144. Cute... and fuzzy.

[bigwillq]

130. I don't know.

Probably not. I tell people on here that I think they are cute but that doesn't mean I am attracted to them. I just think they're cute. Plus I would have to know their status, whether or not they're in a relationship, how far away they are to me...etc...stuff like that.

[ThomCat]

131. Maybe.

:shrug:

[In_The_Wind]

139. no

I've answered the ones I've gotten but I'm too shy to be the first one to send a PM to another DUer.