How do you cure a crush on a right winger?

[dorktv]

I somehow developed a crush on a right wing guy who is a great dad but a total retard (in a because I have a crush on him way of amusing) about politics and sometimes history.

Help!

[Breeze54]

1. Get a Bullshit Detector!! - Talk to him about a woman's right to choose and 'welfare Moms' ...

You'll run screaming from the room in no time!! :P

Bullshit Detector

http://www.worldslargestgiftshop.com/cgi-bin/shop/lof_BS-0001.html?id=MhkSXbEE



Smelling Something? Don't know what it is? Try the professional model bullshit detector!
Works every time! Nine phrases. Up to 50 foot range -- even through walls.
Uses 4 AAA batteries (not included). 3" x 4". Remote Control: 1 1/2" x 2".

Listen to the Bullshit Detector (181k, MP3). :P
http://www.worldslargestgiftshop.com/shop/sounds/lof_BS-0001.mp3

[dorktv]

2. hahahaha...I should ask him if he is against a woman's right to choose until

he is the one who knocked her up.

[S n o w b a l l]

3. Thinking usually does the trick for me....

Seriously, how anyone could fall, even accidently for the mind of a right winger is too beyond me. Are you really serious about falling for this guy? I'd have to ask myself what was missing in my self worth, to fall for a man with totally contradictory views of mine.

[BlueIris]

8. Yeah, I was just gonna post...a *crush*? On a fucking pro-lifer?!

Just say no. Then run.

[raccoon]

47. Boy, I wish that was for real! I mean, really worked. nt

[geardaddy]

53. Nice sig line!

I used to love reading Dick Guindon's cartoons in the Star Tribune.

[Skittles]

4. you want I should kick his right wing ass, dorktv?

that might help

[BlueIris]

9. I'll help.

::metaphorical ass-kicking contained herein::

[dorktv]

19. It might work. He is only Air Force after all.

and JAG at that.

[KillCapitalism]

5. Just keep telling yourself this:

Good looks don't last forever. lol

[Adams Wulff]

6. Just remember...

He's only in it for the money.:hide:

[orleans]

7. is he married? if he is then just forget it.

if he isn't forget it anyway.

chances are it wouldn't work out.

generally speaking, duers and republikas don't mix.

[dorktv]

20. no, divorced. I think his wife was stupider than him though. He has the

occasional glimmers of intelligence.

[NJmaverick]

10. Talk politics every chance you get

That should cure you of the crush

[YDogg]

11. A family member became involved with an "open-minded republican"

There is no such thing, in my view. Anyone who is willing to vote to support the vile things typical republicans believe is not open-minded, reasonable, decent, etc.

[skygazer]

12. Discuss politics and history every time you see him

That should do it.

[dorktv]

22. He and I both have no other hobbies so that is all we talk about.

[CatholicEdHead]

13. Invite him to start his own account here as a couple-bonding-thing

Or deck him all out in Obama or Clinton stickers and encourage him to campaign for whichever one you are pulling for.

[orangerevolution]

61. That will surely kill that crush.

As he runs away.

[Richardo]

14. Believe it or not, people are not demons because they disagree with you politically

Enjoy your crush. :thumbsup:

[Kitty Herder]

42. No, but if you get involved with a right-winger romantically, it can turn ugly as your

love turns to disgust as he holds forth on the great morsels of wisdom that come from Glen Beck's mouth.

Right-wingers can be great people, but it's hard to have a relationship with one. I had a relationship with a right-winger and politics became a real sore spot in the relationship and was part of what brought it down. Especially since he was the kind of guy who automatically assumed he had to be right just because he's a man. Of course, his habit of lying all the time had a lot to do with destroying the relationship, too.

I guess my point is that relationships are hard enough without the added tension of political disagreement if you're a person who is passionate about politics.

[Connonym]

43. I hate to generalize but I think you're correct

I think the greater question is what makes a person a republican. I don't think you need to love a mirror of yourself, you have to ask what makes someone a republican and can you respect that belief system. The republican men I know are homophobic, almost always racist, sexist and I find their lack of caring about issues like poverty and so on to indicate a great lack of empathy. Again, I hesitate to generalize but as a proud bleeding heart I couldn't be with someone who was filled with so much hate and intolerance.

[Kitty Herder]

46. It's hard to maintain a relationship when you don't share the same values.

It's been my experience that Republican men tend to be sexist, homophobic, racist, etc. That makes them at odds with my values of love, compassion, and tolerance.

That was one of the wedges that developed between me and my right-wing ex. I was appalled when his racism, homophobia, and sexism started to rear their ugly heads. He had deftly hidden them when we first started dating.

[bullwinkle428]

54. Totally fine and dandy when it comes to friendships, co-workers, people

you bowl/play golf/play tennis/work out with, etc., etc....but when it comes to a significant other, it can lead to huge conflicts. I've never been in that position myself, but that's mainly the result of never allowing myself to BE in that position!

[IntravenousDemilo]

15. Right winger, huh? Has he got all his teeth? Just askin'... n/m

[dorktv]

24. Well he is from Oklahoma so one never knows.

[orangerevolution]

60. Are you from OK, too? n/t

[dorktv]

67. No, and today after I said that I doubted George Will

knows much about rural America as the child of a college professor and have lived in DC for nearly forty years, he said he was a child of a college professor in OSU at Stillwater.

I was born in San Diego and have lived in massive cities all of my life.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

16. Just keep talking, keep asking questions. After awhile, you will

not put up with that crap and, chances are, he will not put up with your opinions either ;)

[WritingIsMyReligion]

17. Remind yourself he voted for Bush (or didn't vote at all, the moron)?

I dunno. I can tolerate paleoconservatives, who usually have high education and history knowledge, but never neocons.

:shrug:

[leeroysphitz]

18. Want to lose those feelings for him? Marry him. It always works for me. n/t

[dorktv]

21. hahahaha...that would be funny.

[Deja Q]

23. Well, if Maria and Ahnold could do it, anyone can.

Even a Montague and a Capulet got it on, you know!

:D

[dorktv]

25. yeah but he is 43 and I am 28. Oddly enough there are a lot of weird

15 years things going on.

he was my age when his daughter was born, he was her age when I was born. Very odd.

[BlueIris]

31. You're 28, he's 43. Gee...

I wonder what his attraction to you is about? And if it will last? Woman—figure it out. This is not what we might call "a sustainable situation."

[dorktv]

36. He finds me annoying because I talk back. This is a crush I have for him.

Lord knows why.


And God too probably. *snickers at the pun that no one else will get*

[BlueIris]

44. I'm glad it's not reciprocal. One more suggestion:

therapy. There's this concept called "shadow projection" you might wanna look into.

[dorktv]

65. Are you suggesting I have a crush on him because of my own deep desire

to be economically stupid with American taxpayer money?

[BlueIris]

75. No. I think your crush on him is connected with suppressed negativity

of an emotional nature, though. Until you acknowledge it, it's going to rule your life, often manifesting itself in things like perceived romantic feelings for "conservatives" (read: bigoted, misogynist, oppressive individuals). Your internalized self-hatred is begging to be acknowledged so strongly that's it's making you think you are infatuated with a hateful person. (It's not him you're attracted to, it's his warped collection of "values," which reflect your psychological darkside.)

This is really a matter for the therapist's couch, not Dr. Internet. But since I'm starting to think your request for help is bullshit anyway, I'm not going to stress too much about that.

[dorktv]

81. oh, now I see.

My therapist is dealing with some of the negative things.

This issue with my colleague will pass-it is merely lust I have for him that sprang out of nowhere.

[unpossibles]

49. "Even a Montague and a Capulet got it on, you know!"

right before they DIED.

[hellbound-liberal]

26. That reminds me of a joke. What do Republican men use for birth control?

Their personallity! Seriously, I agree with the previous poster. Talk about politics as often as possible and lay out the facts. If he doesn't moderate his positions, dump him!

[The Inquisitive]

27. talk politics then have 'hate sex'

[dorktv]

30. I totally would but since he is a Christian, I am afeared he will refuse to have

intercourse of that nature.

[NewJeffCT]

51. If I was single

I'd love to do that with Michelle Malkin... I've said on here many times, but I've found her attractive in the evil demonic temptress sort of way.

[hippywife]

28. Whatever you do

use protection!



Honestly, tho...minds have never been changed by building walls and castigating those who don't agree with you. Engage him in some common sense conversation and change his way of thinking. ;)

[BreweryYardRat]

29. Usually, listening to them yap will do the trick.

For example...

Back when I was in high school, one of the most attractive girls in my graduating class was a right-winger. She wasn't stupid by any stretch of the imagination either, and she worked her ass off, but she was hard-right politically, and she'd been brainwashed into really hard-core Christian fundamentalism.

Five minutes of listening to her talk about politics or her lack of belief in evolution drastically reduced my attraction to her.

I'm hoping college helps moderate her some.

[NMDemDist2]

32. ice pick in the ear

in the long run it will be less painful

[harmonicon]

33. you have to crush with something more than just yourself

try a truck, tractor, brick wall, etc. Crush the rightwinger with that until they're just something that you have to scrape off of your shoe, and you're done.

[Maraya1969]

34. Shoot him eom

[jobycom]

35. Show him pictures of dead Iraqi children.

If he laughs or defends their slaughter, you'll probably be cured. If he chokes up and says "Wow, I never realized," then maybe you can save him.

[orangerevolution]

62. Dueling Pictures!

And he could show you pictures of dead fetus'!

sarcasm!

[struggle4progress]

37. You could make a diligent effort to convert him to a less obnoxious view

Either (1) you succeed and then the problem's solved, or

(2) prolonged contact with him eliminates your crush and then the problem's solved, or

(3) he contacts homeland security who whisk you off to Guatanamo where you never see him again and then the problem's solved

[dorktv]

72. I plan on driving him crazy for the next six months then find someone else.

So far it is working...he keeps answering my emails, even if he persists in thinking I am a huge Senator Obama supporter.

[struggle4progress]

76. That's a good plan. First, because driving rightwingers crazy will never go out of style -- and

second, because if for some reason it actually turns into a viable relationship, you'll know how to push all his buttons!

[dorktv]

80. heehee...indeed!

[begin_within]

38. Make it look like an accident.

[Jamastiene]

39. WARNING, IT'S GRAPHIC: This WILL work, but it's not for the faint of heart.

*Make your way to the bathroom. (IMPORTANT: DO NOT MISS THIS STEP)
*Think about Ann Coulter.
*Hug porcelain throne. (Hint: You'll need to continue to hug the porcelain throne for the duration of this exercise in masochism.)
*Now, think about sex with Ann Coulter.
*Hug porcelain throne.
*Laugh at yourself for needing to hug the porcelain throne BEFORE when you were not yet thinking about sex with Ann Coulter
*Hug porcelain throne again for thinking about thinking about sex with Ann Coulter.
*Say the guy's name while you continue to think about sex with Ann Coulter.
*Continue hugging porcelain throne.
*Now, think about sex with Ann Coulter while you envision the guy's face.
*Continue hugging porcelain throne.
*Now, think about the guy telling you the only way he'd ever want you would be if you would let it be a three way with Ann Coulter.
*Continue hugging porcelain throne.
*Repeat, if necessary, until you cannot think about this right wing guy without picturing Ann Coulter in any way shape or form.

*Note: After completing this exercise, or on a break if you need one (and you probably will), drink plenty of fluids to prevent dehydration.

Problem solved.
Bill's in the mail.
:evilgrin:

[BlueIris]

45. Holy crap! For use in emergencies only.

True, I think this qualifies. But still. I wouldn't want to think about sex with Ann Coulter for more than a few seconds (MAX) in this lifetime.

[Jamastiene]

48. It would DEFINITELY work though?

Would it not? :P

[dorktv]

68. *laughs* He told me he thought she was good looking but she is no longer

dressing appropriately for a lady of her age. And I said "a lady? First off she is not even female, second, she is 100 years old, so YES she is dressing inappropriately."

[quakerboy]

40. Have an in depth conversation

about reproductive rights. With a hint of gender relations thrown in. Then the next day have a talk about the consequences of war. If you can make it to the third day, well, come on back and we will discuss this more

[Kitty Herder]

41. Talk politics with him. The bullshit that will start streaming from his mouth will

turn you right off and destroy your crush.

Above, all, do NOT get involved with him. That way madness lies. I made that mistake once myself. You love will soon turn to outright disgust if he's as bullheaded and "always right" as my RW ex was.

[unpossibles]

50. hmm. Run away.

I have some friends who are Repubs but could not date someone who at least did not share some beliefs.

Try this: pretend you agree with him on something important like reproductive rights, separation of church and state, or whatever for a moment and see if he lets his guard down and shows he is a bigot.

[NewJeffCT]

52. Is he a fundie Christian, too?

you had mentioned Christian and Air Force, and I know the Air Force is a haven for fundies...

If he is a fundie, you have to remember that he expects you to be barefoot & pregnant and in the kitchen, and that sex will only be in the missionary position and when he wants it.

[bullwinkle428]

55. Should we even bring up the part

about her pleasure probably not being his #1 goal, when they're...shall we say, "intimately involved"? :evilgrin:

[dorktv]

74. I find that takes too long and then I fall asleep and the guy gets all insulted.

[dorktv]

73. I have another colleague who tells me to go be a barefoot and pregnant

in the kitchen but this guy is actually not much of a fundie...he even gambles.

[NewJeffCT]

77. I used to work with a guy

who was a fundie and went to a fundie church every week, etc. His wife stayed at home while he worked, etc.

However, the guy cursed like a sailor and ogled anything female that he could see...

[dorktv]

79. I doubt this guy will be able to keep me at home.

*I* WILL be President.

[NewJeffCT]

78. I used to work with a guy

who was a fundie and went to a fundie church every week, etc. His wife stayed at home while he worked, etc.

However, the guy cursed like a sailor and ogled anything female that he could see...

[Phillycat]

56. Would you mind not using the word "retard"? It's really offensive.

[auburngrad82]

57. Listen to him talk? nt

[applegrove]

58. Pay attention when he opens his mouth and talks politics.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

59. Have him/her open his/her mouth? n/t

[Joey Liberal]

63. Just think of Adolph Hitler n/t

[KamaAina]

64. Sledgehammer. Apply directly to the right-winger's forehead.

Sledgehammer. Apply directly to the right-winger's forehead.
Sledgehammer. Apply directly to the right-winger's forehead.
Sledgehammer. Apply directly to the right-winger's forehead.

lest you end up like Mom, constantly having to apologize to me for Repuke Stepdad...

[GoddessOfGuinness]

66. You just need a new crush...

Try this one.

[Robeson]

69. Bingo.

[dorktv]

71. that asshat refuses to support Rosenberg's plans to stand up to the

media companies trying to force bad contracts on to actors.

[LeftyFingerPop]

70. Take the crushed right winger to the ER ASAP...

They will perform x-rays and range of motion tests on the crushed winger.

The treatment will depend on the severity of the crush, but will probably involve a cast for at least 6 weeks.

The treatment will be the same if you were to crush your left winger.

Good luck.

[alfredo]

82. If you are a guy, it might get interesting.

[dorktv]

83. noooooooooooo...I am a girl

[alfredo]

84. I had a friend who always fell for right wing guys. He got his ass kicked

a few times. It was too bad. He was a nice guy but had this thing for rejection.

[alfredo]

85. Look at James Carville and Mary Matlin. They are opposites and it

seems to work.