Time for a... POPE JOKE!!!

[underpants]

So the Pope is in the US and he gets into his limo and rolls down the partition

"Say son do you think I could drive?" he asks the chauffeur "I never get to drive and since I am in the States I thought I might give it a try"

The driver swallows and thinks "Cripes! it's the Pope how can I say no"

"Uh sure sir of course whatever you want" so he pulls over and the Pope gets in.

The Pope says "Oh son you should get in the back, relax, enjoy yourself"

Again the chauffeur feels compelled to do what the Pope says.


Then the Pope just floors it. He is flying all over the place. Screaming through turns. Fishtailing. Totally out of control.

A DC cop sees this out of control limo and pulls him over. He walks up to the window and taps on it. The glass rolls down and the gasps. He recognizes the Pope, of course, looks around the rest of the limo and sees the guy in the back. The cop says,"I'll be right back"


The cop radios in "Yeah give me the chief" he waits..... finally "Chief yeah I pulled a guy over but I don't think I can give him a ticket"

"Is it a Senator?" the chief asks

"Nope" says the cop "more important than that"

"Is ....is it the PRESIDENT!?!?!" asks the chief

"Nope" says the cop "more important than that"





























"More important than the PRESIDENT? Who is it?!!?" the chief asks

The cop replies "I don't know...but the POPE is driving him around"


:scared:

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

1. Did you know there was once a female pope? Several in fact.

Haven't you heard about all those Auntie Popes?

[Tommy_Carcetti]

2. Funny, funny....

I vaguely remember that one.

[bikebloke]

3. From a Swiss friend

The Pope disembarks a plane in London. The crowd is shouting, "ELVIS! ELVIS! ELVIS!..."
The Pope says, "But I'm not Elvis. I'm the Pope."

Then the Pope goes to meet the Queen.
She says, "A pleasure to meet you Elvis."
The Pope says, "But I'm not Elvis. I'm the Pope."

At the end of the day, he walks into his hotel room. Lying on his bed is a beautiful naked woman. She says, " Hi Elvis."
The Pope says, "Give one for the money...Two for the show..."

[Tommy_Carcetti]

4. Here's one.....

After a long and holy life, ever faithful to his vows, the Pope dies and ascends to heaven.

Upon getting to heaven and passing through the Pearly Gates, the Pope is thrilled to stand before the face of God. He has so many questions for the Creator he can barely contain himself.

However, there is one question he wants answered above all else. "Heavenly Father," he asks, "How do I know whether or not I was a good Pope? How do I know if I lived the life you wanted the Popes to live?"

"Well, my son," God answers, "I'm glad you asked. All you want to know you may find in this guidebook of mine."

God hands the Pope a heavy guidebook. The Pope starts leafing through all the pages, trying to take in all the information as to how God wants his Popes to act.

Then, all of a sudden, the Pope stops. He shakes his head, in great horror and disappointment. The Pope then just puts his head in his hands and starts to sob.

"What is the matter, my son?" God asks.

"Celebrate", the Pope responds. "It says celebrate!"

[GoddessOfGuinness]

5. Haha!

That's pretty good!

[kmla]

6. Speaking of the pope, here's a picture of the pope..

and a dope.

[hvn_nbr_2]

8. So is that what the famous Pope-a-dope is? nt

[harmonicon]

7. I have one:

The current pope is a Nazi.


Ok, so it's not really a "funny ha-ha" type of joke....

[YDogg]

9. heh

[Dr. Strange]

10. What do you get when you cross an elephant and the pope?

|elephant| |pope| sin θ

[HamstersFromHell]

11. Oldie but (I think) a goodie:

The local parish priest was walking to church one day when he came upon a man fishing at a pond. The priest decided he'd love to try fishing, so he asked if the man could show him how.

The man offers the priest his rod and reel, shows the priest how to bait the hook and cast his line. No sooner than the hook hit the water than he got a bite. The man tells the priest to tug the pole and set the hook and the battle is on.

After a while, the priest reels in this huge fish. The man exclaims "Wow, what a sonofabitch!" The priest scowls at the man, and admonishes him for using such language in the presence of a man of the cloth. The man, somewhat embarassed, tells the priest: "I wasn't being profane. It's the name of the type of fish you caught." The priest, knowing nothing of this, accepts the man's excuse.

The priest takes his new catch and heads off to the church. As he enters the courtyard, he encounters one of his deacons, who asks about the fish. The priest exclaims: "Isn't this a fine sonofabitch?" The deacon starts to say something and the priest cuts him off, saying: "That's what kind of fish it is, the fisherman who helped me told me so."

The deacon tells the priest that while he was out, the church received a phone call, and the Pope himself was coming to visit this evening. The priest thinks: "I think the pope would be impressed if we prepared him a home cooked meal!" The deacon says he knows how to clean fish, so now we need to find someone who can cook it. After asking around, they locate one of the nuns who says she can cook seafood quite well.

Later that evening, the Pope pushed his chair back from the dinner table, quite filled with fresh seafood, and told them that he'd not had such a fine meal in a long time...and what kind of fish was that and who went through all this trouble just for him?

The priest exclaimed: "Well, I caught the sonofabitch!"
The deacon chimed in: "I cleaned the sonofabitch!"
And the nun said: "And I cooked the sonofabitch!"

The pope looked at them warily for a second, then smiled and remarked: "You know, I think I like you fuckers!"