From the files of the late and great Miss Sophie Tucker.

[ronnykmarshall]

I was in the woods last night with my boyfriend Ernie. He said to me "Soph" .... he always calls me 'Soph' .... He said to me "Soph these wood sure are dark I wish I had a flashlight" I said to him "So do I Ernie, you have been munching grass for the last ten MINUTES"!

M' girlfriend Clementine is a dirty old broad. We were hanging out of landry the other day and she said to me "Soph, how come you never caught in the rain when you hand your landry." I told her "My dear Clementine, every morning I pull back the sheets and look at my boyfriend Ernie. If it's laying on the left it's gonna rain. If it's laying on the right it's gonna be a sun shiny day." Clementine said "Well what if it's sticking straight up?". I told her "Well who the hell wants to landry on a day like that?!!"

[ronnykmarshall]

1. What? No Sophie Tucker fans?

[KitchenWitch]

2. I LOVE her!

:D

[RebelOne]

3. I am old enough to remember Sophia Tucker.

I watched her all the time on TV. I'm not positive, but I think she had her own show.

[ThomCat]

4. My boyfriend Ernie sure loves to complain. (nsfw)

just the other day he was complaining, "Soph, you've got no tits and a tight box." I said to him, "Ernie, Get off my back!" :P

[edbermac]

5. Bette Midler told one once.

In the movie Divine Madness, I think. Something like this:

One night my boyfriend Ernie said, "Soph, you got no tits and a tight box!"

I replied..."Ernie, get off my back!" :7

On edit: Damn! TC beat me!

[ronnykmarshall]

6. Another ....

I will never forget it you know. Doorbell rang the other day, answered the door
and there was a delivery boy there with two dozen roses. I grabbed the card I opened it,
it said "Love, from your boyfriend Ernie"

I was having tea with my girlfriend Clementine. I said "Clementine, do you know what this means? For the next two weeks I'm gonna be flat on my back with my legs wide open." Clemintine says to me "What's the matter, ain't you got a vase?"

[monmouth]

7. Oh Ronny, thanks you're a treasure. I had the pleasure of meeting

her when I was performing on the Steel Pier in Atlantic City. She was doing a week there and we both ended up on the outside catwalk overlooking the ocean. I was on a break (I was about nine years old at the time). She was so fun, very kind, and told me to keep on hoofin! (I was quite the little tapdance star at the time, doncha know!). Great post, loved her.

[KitchenWitch]

8. Oh Gods - I remember Steel Pier

We used to go to Atlantic City every other summer when I was a child, before the casinos. Some of my fondest memories are of collecting seashells in the morning on the beach and eating James' salt water taffy on the boardwalk.

[monmouth]

9. OMG James's salt water taffy? Just kidding, I used to love Fralingers

and then I had to wear braces so that was the end of that. If you were ever on the Pier I was in the "Stars of Tomorrow" show, we were also on Paul Whiteman's TV Teen Show out of Philadelphia. Met Al Pacino at the bus station off the boardwalk in '53 (the day before my 13th birthday). He introduced himself then as Alfredo, had been to an audition to get the feel for it and to watch others. Talk about your sweet Italian boys! I loved AC, many fond memories.

[KitchenWitch]

10. I did summers in AC in the late 60s through the mid 70s.

Alas I missed you.

[monmouth]

11. Ah yes, by many years. I was on the Pier from the late '40s to

around '53. We then moved to Freehold (my dad was with NJ Bell) and I remember Bruce Springsteen as little kid hot rodding on his bike with the McDermott boy. Geez, I'm old. However, Al and I were both 13 when we met and talked for about 1/2 an hour before his bus came in. He loved my name (Sheila) and has used it in DD Afternoon and Two For The Money. Those were the days. Sorry, didn't mean to ramble...

[ronnykmarshall]

12. That is so fantastic!!