What the biggest reason that you find a person attractive?

[redqueen]

Is it more how they look, or more how they act?




edit... sorry... this kinda got under my skin:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x5532153#5532843

[flvegan]

1. How they think.

Hawt bod helps.

[redqueen]

4. deleted

sorry

:blush:

[Rambis]

6. How they talk

bad grammar drives me insane- No gunners fans either;)

[flvegan]

9. But a ManU gal would be out of the question.

Back to "how she thinks" in this case. Nice Chelsea girl, that's the ticket.

[Rambis]

30. Not if she looks like this

:)

[datasuspect]

2. how they smell is real important.

[Sock Puppet]

7. You might be joking, but hell yes - I agree.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

3. initial attraction for me is aesthetic. ofcourse if the person then declares they are a republican

repulsion can occur :P

[redqueen]

5. That's what I'd expect.

That no matter how attractive someone is, if serious character flaws became apparent, the attraction would disappear.

[unpossibles]

33. that's how I am

I have been instantly cured of some crushes before by various things.

[NewJeffCT]

32. it depends on how I meet them

When I used to meet women from online, it was all about personality and intelligence at first, believe it or not.

However, in person, it's all about bra size.

j/k

In person, it's more about how a woman carries herself and also her personality. I've seen women that I lot of guys find attractive, but if they seem to lack confidence and are quiet and reserved (like you priyanka!)then I won't be attracted to them.

[Oeditpus Rex]

8. Define 'attractive'

"I'd like to be naked with him/her right now" or "I'd like to be naked with him/her for the next 20 years"?

:shrug:

[redqueen]

10. Does not compute.

I don't want to "be naked" with anyone now that I wouldn't want to "be naked" with for 20 years.

[Oeditpus Rex]

15. Then let me re-phrase less flippantly:

"Attractive" as in a purely physical reaction to an anonymous person (or an unattainable one, like a celebrity) or a physical/emotional reaction to someone with whom you're acquainted?

[redqueen]

18. Is there a difference?

Johnny Depp is extremely sexy but if he came out tomorrow backing up RW BS about how the poor don't deserve help then he'd become ugly in a nanosecond.

[Oeditpus Rex]

28. Same with Janeane Garofalo

Her fabulous smarts and wit and her general über-hawtness aside, if she suddenly decided being liberal were crap, I'd no longer want to spend the rest of my life surgically attached to her.

But, at some point long since forgotten, I'm sure I saw her for the first time and thought, "ZOMD, she's cute!" without knowing the other stuff.

There's basic animal attraction and then there's attraction that goes way beyond that, with hearts and flowers and bad poetry and whatnot.

[hisownpetard]

68. I met her about 10 years ago. She was going with a friend of mine who was in grad. school, working

toward his MFA in creative writing at the time (he was a terrific poet). He was about 6'2"
and she's about as big as a minute. She looked like a grad student herself and acted like
any other 'kid' on campus.

He met her while working as a bartender in NYC and didn't know who she was, just thought
she was really cool. And she was/is.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

29. yes, there is a difference. often times for a one night stand the personality doesnt matter

[Parche]

11. Its The Size Of Their Arsenal That Matters...

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:hi:

:hug:

[redqueen]

12. I don't know why I made this a poll.

I'm being overly sensitive and moody and irrational. Just ignore me.

[Dr. Strange]

16. That's what I'm attracted to: overly sensitive and moody and irrational.

:)

For me, I don't think it's always the same thing. Back in my salad days, there were some women I was attracted to because of looks (their smile, for example), but others I was attracted to because of similar interests or their sense of humor.

[redqueen]

19. Well I've got that in spades.

If there's one thing I'm good at it's being mental.

Anyone can be attracted to looks... I worded this badly cause I did it in a rush. I should have asked do they stay attractive to you despite being empty-headed or callous or cruel or thoughtless or lacking in compassion, etc.

[Dr. Strange]

25. Ooh, interesting point.

Yep, their behavior can definitely swing my vote. I've seen it both ways: someone who I was physically attracted to (until I saw them saying something downright mean) and someone who I didn't initially find attractive (which changed as I saw more of their personality and behavior coming out).

I suppose the physical characteristics make the biggest first impression, but the behavior determines whether the attraction remains.

If that makes sense.

[Chan790]

13. I'm a man...and very much other.

Neither how they act nor look is important to me. Ideas, interests, politics and intelligence are all more important to me than someone's appearance or personality. I think it comes from having a shitty personality and having terrible self-esteem.

Anyways, I am truly a "mind" man. I broke-off communications with some woman the other day because she couldn't spell or remember to capitalize. That's a deal-breaker for me. If you can't be bothered to come across as smart, I get repulsed. She also dissed Walt Whitman. Philistine!

[redqueen]

14. Yes well I'd put how they think in the how they act category, myself.

We choose how we think for the most part, don't we? So is it not also an action?

[billyskank]

17. I don't know.

:hi:

[redqueen]

26. ...

:hi:

(I'm really feeling more :( but... *sigh*)

[billyskank]

27. Yeah, I can tell.

You post questions like this when you're feeling :(.

:hug:

[texas1928]

20. Breast size...

Yeah, have to say breast size.




:hide:

[datasuspect]

21. i like big butts

and i cannot lie

[texas1928]

22. Knocking stuff off shelves?

[redqueen]

23. ...

:spank:


Thanks, tex. I really needed that smile.

[texas1928]

24. You're welcome.

:D

[unpossibles]

31. All of the above, plus their general personality

I like a nice butt too. :)


WHAT!?!?!

[begin_within]

34. Health

[Pierre.Suave]

35. DO you want the honest answer?

or the politically correct DU answer?

[Haole Girl]

36. To me...

it's all about brains and kindness-- working together. Often, I'll think someone is attractive at first. Later, when they reveal what an asshole they truly are, they seem extremely ugly to me. It's weird... but that's how my mind works.

[TZ]

37. Personality mostly

There can be an element of how they look though. But its definitely primarily personality. I find myself often attracted to guys sight unseen based on conversations I have had.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

38. I know longer know and, I am beginning not to care...

I think I am in a big "Fuck it" phase :shrug:

[Guava Jelly]

39. I like a woman with a kind and compassionate heart

And it helps if shes got a nice rack :yoiks:

[kwassa]

40. Their persona

Who are they as a person? The complete person, not a series of qualities. That is what sets my chemistry meter going.

[kwassa]

41. Their persona

Who are they as a person? The complete person, not a series of qualities. That is what sets my chemistry meter going.

[NJmaverick]

42. I can't answer that in a poll

I think it's the whole package. I am a man and I find women that are good persons, funny and intelligent very attractive. I am not going to lie though, while looks are not as important, it does play a role. It's not a big role, but it does play a secondary role.

[BreweryYardRat]

43. Intelligence, personality, pretty face.

Everything else is negotiable.

[IronLionZion]

44. personality, attitude, character, way she treats people, values, passions

A positive attitude can make someone look physically attractive too. There are many reasons including her physical appearance. I'm not one of those liars who might tell you that looks don't matter.

Since you asked for the biggest reason, it is definitely how attracted she is to me. I have a thing for women who have a thing for me. I would not be interested for very long in pursuing any woman who isn't interested in me.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

45. They don't run away screaming when they meet me.

[sakabatou]

46. Hot they think, personality and commonality

[IronLionZion]

47. her pure Aryan light skin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdI-JLTE5l4

http://www.stuffindianslike.com/2008/03/90210-white-girls.html

http://stuffdesislike.wordpress.com/2008/03/06/desi-white-couples/

http://stuffdesislike.wordpress.com/2008/03/10/13-fair-and-lovely-2/

I'm kidding of course. I got cured of the "fair is lovely" bias.

[Fox Mulder]

48. Obviously looks initially...

but then how she acts. If she's a complete idiot, then I'm turned off.

So how they act is more important.

[LanternWaste]

49. I wish I knew...

But really-- I have absolutely no idea why I'm attracted to Girl A rather than Girl B.

Yet given the choices you presented us with, I find both to be relatively important. I've been attracted to (or not) a young lady simply because of her attitude-- regardless of how hot (or not) she was.

Conversely, I've been attracted to young ladies simply on their looks-- before I had the opportunity to gauge her potential attitude.

But in the end, I've never "broken up" with a girl because of her looks, however I have broken up with plenty due to attitude-- so maybe that's our answer...?










But for what it's worth, Norah O'Donnel doesn't hold a candle to you-- either looks or attitude :hide:

[LeftyMom]

50. Heart, brains and actions.

Looks are a bonus, but so subordinate to the first three it's not even funny, and they definitely aren't going to endear me to somebody who doesn't care, isn't a thinker, or who does things I can't respect or support.

[RainDog]

51. His package

...by that, of course I mean whatever it is about someone that makes that someone who he is... how do you separate out those things?

but the REALLY honest answer is chemistry. whatever that is.

I can tell you what I don't like and wouldn't find attractive much more than what I do like. don't like right wing mindsets. that would be an automatic no thank you.

[Broken_Hero]

52. I'm a man and voted for how they act,

:) :hi:

[gristy]

53. A pretty woman is good - but grace and confidence is better

[Throd]

54. How they look gets me on the hook, how they act gets me in the boat.

[From The Ashes]

55. How they act...

...and how they treat me. I've had my fill of abusive assholes. If that means I remain alone, so be it.

[SPKrazy]

56. It's the whole package

am I attracted to them, are they intelligent, are they caring, compassionate, liberal thinking, and lovable.

I have found someone like this, they are not near me and there are other issues that may in fact get in the way.

So I am sticking to my story.

The caring, compassionate, intelligent, loving an lovable, and the attracted to them are the most important to me.

[Robeson]

57. Commonality is of first importance. A nice ass is second....

...:D

[CaliforniaPeggy]

58. My dear redqueen...

How they act is first...

How they approach me, how they conduct themselves...

A sense of humor, intelligence, and confidence...

Looks play a part, of course, but that's secondary...

:hi:

[Fenris]

59. Undoubtedly how they act.

Though I think I hit the jackpot. My SO is fucking hot. :P

[bridgit]

60. My guy's a looker no doubt, but I'll admit it's the way he puts all that in motion...

'acts' :thumbsup:

[SarahB]

61. I suppose there is no one thing

Some things attract me initially physically, but warmth and intelligence (or lack thereof) can make a person more or less attractive. I suppose at times I look at people and at least subconsciously think: potentially doable or no way ever!. Someone I find hideously unattractive physically just could never do it for me, but someone I find gorgeous as all heck could ruin it quickly by being stupid or mean.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

62. A high level of intelligence (especially verbal), a kind heart, and my non-negotiable demand:

mischievous glints in the eyes. No glints, no attraction.

[badgerpup]

63. It's awful subjective...

Whyn'tcha come on over and we can test it out?
:hi:

[ismnotwasm]

64. How they act/think

Even a hot one night stand has to be worth it. I've gone for the "big and stupid thing" in the past. A big yawn not worth turning the sheets over for.


Oh, female here, and married so the whole point is moot for me anyway.


Now I'm thinking about those old Julie Brown lyrics;


When I need somethin' to help me unwind
I find a six foot baby with a one track mind
Smart guys are nowhere, they make demands
Give me a moron with talented hands
I go bar-hopping and they say last call
I start shopping for a Neanderthal

The bigger they come the harder I fall
In love 'til we're done then they're out in the hall
I like 'em big and stupid
I like 'em big and real dumb
I like 'em big and stupid

What kind of guy does a lot for me
A Superman with a lobotomy
My fathers outa Harvard
My brothers outa Yale
But the guy I took home last night
Just got outa jail
.........
And so forth.

[Recovered Repug]

65. Bank account

I'm a gold digger.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

66. Intelligence, humor, talent (artistic, musical, etc.), how well we jibe together

(I like people with whom I have long-standing inside jokes, that sort of thing--I generally don't feel intense bursts of attraction to random strangers.)

My shallow side appreciates how you'd look in sunglasses, leather jacket, jeans, though. What can I say? Always the epitome of smooth badass-ery to me.

:rofl:

[Tektonik]

67. It's always physical attraction first

because I can see the person before I can hear anything that person would ever say.